Reasons a foster parent may say no to a foster care placement call

It isn’t always the right time or the right situation to say yes. ❤️‍🩹 I don’t know about you but it is always painful to say no and I sit and wonder if I should have said yes.

Do you have any boundaries in your home? Please share how you handle these situations in your home! ⬇️

#fosterparent #fostercare #fosterchild #fostering #fosterfamily #fosterparenting #fostercare

[katfoster]

This makes total sense. Also, you might not be the right fit for that child. For example, the child has difficulty with male caregivers changing them, but in your home your husband takes care of the children until you come home from work at 1pm.

Or it could be that you're a fairly loud household with energetic children and the child that you're considering is easily overwhelmed with sensory stimuli.

[silverdoe]

You get attached so quickly, especially other kids in the house. Losing siblings is not easy.

[jodijohnson]

My aunt actually was a foster parent to over 40 children and teens. And she promised her daughter that her senior year that she wouldn’t have anymore foster kids so that they could focus on her last year of high school with her before she went to college. One child was only in their home for a month. And my aunt just recently passed away. And that foster child spoke at her funeral and mentioned how impactful it was to her that she would keep a promise. Even though it meant she had to leave the home that she finally made her realize what a home is supposed to look like.

[moonpie]

Something my mum has always taught me, you can always say no and you always have a choice. It might not be a nice choice but its always there!

[cateduckworth]

My parents fostered when I was in elementary and middle school. They fostered teenagers so they always always ALWAYS made sure that there was no history of them committing sexual assault or anything like that. The safety of my brother and I always came first. We still got some really hard cases, but I never felt like I was in danger.

[trishawhitehead]

This is so validating. We decided to just do respite for awhile after our 2.5 year placement moved to an adoptive placement. I find that I feel guilty about it and appreciate the validation this provides, so thank you! I see foster care in seasons and listening to our family's needs is so important.

[christalcavanaugh]

I love that she doesn’t just explain the reasons, which she could very easily do, but she goes out of her way to give an example of what that communication could look like for people who might not know how to phrase it politely without burning bridges or coming off as insensitive

[brittdoesacartwheel]

I wish my mom would’ve said the same thing as the first one. I was struggling so much mentally and had just transitioned to homeschooling (6th grade) when my mom against our wishes said yes to a foster placement. Some of the darkest times of my life happened during that time and she continued to work while I had to homeschool myself and take care of the kids on top of it and received no attention or thanks from my mother. This was 10 years ago and I’m still working through forgiving her.

[erikal]

Being a foster sibling, it was a tough decision to say yes to adopting him. I felt like I didn’t want to be the reason he was away from his old family, and as a child, I was scared of having someone in the family who needed extra care and attention. Saying yes was the best decision in the end. 15 years later and i barely remember a time living without him. He is truly family and always in my heart. As adults we don’t live in the same home anymore but I need to facetime him because that familiar soul is so comforting

[erinmalone]

My family took a break from fostering after the pair of sisters we had were moved. We did mourn, and unfortunately, our caseworker was terrible and never took notes or checked in on us. That left mom to say all kinds of things that were untrue, and there was no documentation by our social worker to contradict. Unfortunately, the youngest was placed back in the home before they were ready. We were so hurt and angry we contemplated not continuing to foster at all. Several months later we were contacted by the placement coordinator and she was placed back with us. This time we have an amazing social worker that communicates and is very involved and can rebut any false complaints. Now the child is doing spectacularly and is receiving the services they needed so badly. Having a receptive social worker it is absolutely what can make or break a child’s progress.

[andreevaillancourt]

As a former Foster Child I can say that there is nothing worse than being in a home where you are not completely welcome.

[MrsBees]

My foster kiddo isn't ready yet to share me. We are a foster to adopt home and we've turned down so many perfect placements because our kiddo isn't ready yet. You gotta take care of the kid you have and make the right decision for them before you can help others. It's super important to considered all people in the house, not just the adults or bio children.

[samh]

People like us who want to always help everyone often have to put effort into learning that it's okay to not be superman all the time, and it's also important to put on your own oxygen mask first.

[WickedSkrGrl]

I appreciate noticing your child is uncomfortable with it, that’s completely okay. It can be really strange or hurt to lose what they see is their sibling or best friend over n over or the other child being a stranger.

[ffmonpr]

I love how she is showing different factors that happen in peoples lives. It’s very important always to have everyone’s needs met.

[goodwillbunny]

Thank you for this interesting video. My mom had foster care from 1954 until 1995. I appreciate this.

[Nymeria..]

There is the lady I think from the UK. She’s an author named Cathy Glass. I highly highly highly recommend all of her books. She fostered many many children and even adopted 1. She talks about how she did this while going through a divorce and she also had 2 bio kids. I seriously love her. This video reminded me of them bc she has had to take breaks too and say no and sometimes it’s hard to say no. I swear foster parents are literal angels and they don’t get enough credit for what they do

[animefreak]

I have an autistic cousin, most smartest person I’ve ever met, went to college, worked. Amazing man his family ruined him by adding so many foster children he completely regressed. He can’t even shower by himself anymore. He’s a shell of who he used to be. Fostering can completely traumatize other people in the household. Your biological children should have a right in the decision, since it will affect them for the rest of their lives. A hellion toddler fucked my parents so much they quit, the family who took in the hellion quit after him too. He made so many family’s quit, he was born on every drug imaginable, not his fault.

[farded]

I got really attached to all of my foster parents growing up- I didnt get the love I needed from my bio parents so when I entered foster care at 14 it made me feel so human, , I was loved. It's really nice to see that foster parents can experience this too

[MarSmiles]

I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!! I love all of these responses as each one represents a truthful reason to say it's just not avaliable right now. Please call ASAP to update or remove your home off of their list of available homes. We need to all be very mindful and keep them updated of any changes. When a Case Manager is calling to place a child that is not the time to update the home's availability.