Things that may disqualify you to be a foster parent

Want to become a foster parent? Here are some things that may disqualify you, submitted by followers 💛 Of course check with your agency or county to get the exact rules for licensing. Some things are up to the discretion of the person completing your home study and they can disqualify you for a variety of reasons.

Have any questions about getting licensed? Drop them in the comments! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Find Me on Social Media:

#fosterparent #fosterparenting #fostercare #becomeafosterparent #gettinglicensed

[caidalee]

The existing children get a say?! That so unexpected and so beautiful.

[rachelsyrup]

I like that the stated "max capacity" of a house is eight people. In life, as in the Sims. 😂

[keaunahunt]

i was adopted. it’s always been openly talked about, i don’t even remember having a discussion about it.
we celebrate my “gotcha” day every year (day i was adopted) and when i was younger i used to brag about it.
10/10 recommend openly talking about it the kids whole life

[puppychan]

My cousin was a foster parent to three kids that really needed it, it allowed all three of them to stay together while their dad worked through what he needed to while getting custody of them. I hope in the future those kids are able to contact my cousin because she truly treated them like her own. She took the time to learn how to manage each one of their hair types(she's caucasian and they're African American), she even wanted to adopt all three of them but their dad got things together and was able to take them back before that. I'm proud of my cousin because thanks to her three siblings weren't separated.

[mildlycurious]

As the bio kid of parents who used to foster, I’m glad existing kids get a say now. We didn’t when I was growing up. And while I think fostering children is commendable & would recommend it for anyone who is qualified, as a kid it was hard getting attached to other kids and seeing them as a brother or sister only to loose them. Sometimes I didn’t even know they would be going back to their bio parents. I’d wake up & they were gone.

[ashleydavis]

If you're excluded from outright fostering there are so many other ways you can help! A friend of mine ended up qualifying to do short term respite (like for a date night or something) even though she didn't qualify for full on fostering. The department in our area also has people come in once a month and pack up a bunch of bags with some stuff for the kids, and they come in weekly during the holidays to wrap donated gifts. Anyone can lend a hand, even if it's just something as simple as wrapping presents. It never hurts to ask about opportunities!

[Septic-Hearts]

I know this can be a road bump in a fostering journey but I'm actually really glad for procedures like these existing, they're the sorts of things I would be concerned about if I or someone I know had ever gone into foster care. Better safe than sorry.

[Janne_Mai]

These all seem like really good reasons, to ensure safety and stability of the foster home.

[novadearest]

When I was a teenager, I remember my dad telling me that my stepmom was thinking about adopting a girl my age and I burst into tears. Part of me thought immediately, "Am I not good enough for her as a stepdaughter?" and she ended up never adopting. I feel bad now looking back on it. I was so insecure, and my stepmom always wanted a daughter. 😢

[khutchinsoncpa]

I am the mother, daughter, sister, and first cousin to adoptees. I started telling my child the story of his adoption when he was two, complete with a book of pictures. I called it the “INSERT CHILD’S NAME” story.
The one of my family members who didn’t know, until she found out through a DNA test, has by far suffered the most trauma, as did her children. And sadly, looking back over her life, she realized that everyone knew but her, and just gaslighted her when she would ask questions about her coloration, or how she looked a little different from her siblings.
Adopted kids aren’t Lego pieces. They have biological families, which are important parts of their life story. When events happened that resulted in adoption, they lost their family. It’s a severing of the knowledge of things like why their toes look a certain way, or why they don’t seem to have the same preferences as their adoptive family, or if they have a predisposition for certain allergies.
Further, there are biological family members that may want to eventually know and love that child, like a grandparent, or a younger sister, who were not at fault for losing their family member. Why take the option to eventually have a relationship with them completely away from the adopted child?
It just seems cruel to take more away from a child that has already suffered loss.

[booksvsmovies]

Oh i didnt realize children/dependants were also interviewed as part of the process

[Harudodo]

I’m so glad the children in the house get a say. Not just for their happiness but the foster child as well. Having an unwanted child in the house, especially with children, can easily lead to bullying and hateful language. Definitely not an ideal environment for an adjusting and most likely hurting child

[taylorhuntley]

I am the second of six kids and we did fostering for four years. We only ever did babies and todlers long term. It was one of the best experiences of my childhood. We loved every kid who ever came through our doors and we have relationships still with some that got adopted by other families. Sometimes kids just need somewhere to stay and people to stand up for them.

[Ebolarama]

Thank you so much for bringing up that not disclosing to your adoptee that they are an adoptee is harmful, wrong and honestly vile. And I am an adoptee.

[krystlesun]

I fostered my nephew and unexpectedly he's was removed. We were told 5 different lies by his worker, and she tried having charges put on me for an incident from July 4th that I was NOT involved in. I talked to the prosecutor, and that's when I found out that she was the one trying to have charges on me. There was also NO INVESTIGATION for the allegations. Had a proper investigation been done they would've known I wasn't present for that incident. Thank God a temp foster was available for 2 weeks and from there another family member was able to take him. I was going to adopt him and that was ripped away from us.

[arniekyle]

I always hear foster horror stories from my foster friends, how do those people manage to get through?

[sophial]

When you live in an area where there are not enough foster homes you can get approved even if you wouldn't have qualified in other places, and they wont even come to do house checks after the initial check which is just them sitting in the livingroom having a chat. And if you moved and have done foster care before they will say things like "we trust you" and not do any checks. I have seen all of this happen first hand and not shocked to learn of people getting away with abuse because the system allows them to.

[MickeyRosa-]

Yeah, I was adopted by my grandmother
when I was 4 and my brother was 6.
I remember being asked by my grandmother, the lawyers and the judge if we were okay with being adopted by a relative.
We were asked because they had to make sure that we understood that by being adopted by a relative we were that much more likely to see our biological mom

[abby_renee]

My nana was a foster parent, and she ended up hosting my dad and aunt when they were little. She adopted the both of them and their other bio sibling to keep them together bc they hadn’t been for years. I have so much love and respect for her deciding to adopt three kids at once, and I’ll forever be grateful that I am able to know my aunt and uncle

[helenamcginty]

My late parents taught at the same Roman Catholic school. My Dad doubled as the school counsellor. (Hed done a very tough year long course to qualify). Mum mentioned to him a boy (no names but he knew who she meant) who had started acting up. He had confided in her that he was the eldest of 4 but that his patents fostered 4 more and were planning on fostering another.
Fostered children can often take up a lot of time due to the reasons they need to be fostered and he and his siblings got 0 time and attention. They were made to feel guilty for not doing their Christian duty in taking a back seat to the fostered children. In short he needed his parents to think of him for 5 minutes at a time. To him the fostered children were like cuckoos in the nest.
I suspect his parents were not only wanting to help the foster kids but had got seduced into needing the "arent we a wonderful" feedback from "doing good works" without considering how left out their own children felt.
My Dad said he would chat with the lad and with the social workers. The latter probably thought these parents were wonderful.