Things that may disqualify you from being a foster parent

Some of these may disqualify you from being a foster parent. Did they where you live? What should we add to this list? Please comment below!

[fawnwolfe]

This makes me wonder how in gods name do the nightmarish homes we hear of in foster care get licensed to begin with?

[violtsparrow]

This is the reason I went through 2 years of neglect and then 2 foster homes before I was finally adopted. Because even though I was starving and neglected nobody was "good enough" to take us.... Literally anything would have been better than staying but they don't see it that way.

[smileygirl]

There's just something about "you don't make enough money to qualify" and "you don't have enough time because of your job to take on essentially a second job" that really breaks my heart.

[Sassy_Alaskan]

This is one of the biggest reasons our foster care system is so overwhelmed. My close friend was raising her niece (as her daughter) but because she was considered a "foster child" my friend had to meet all these insane qualification or her daughter be removed and placed with another family. Even though she had had her from birth. All because one of the windows didn't meet the requirements. She literally had to up and move apartments just to keep her kid. I understand they're there for a reason, I understand the concern but it shouldn't be so complicated to find suitable foster homes.

[emma-rbsp]

and then kids get placed into homes that meet all these requirements and get horrifically abused. america moment

[gemgirl]

If birth parent(s)/relative guardians were given the same standard, 99% of people would lose their kids lol.

[Lovestroutfish]

The two parts that bother me are "have a job good enough to provide the financial stability (100% get it) you gotta have a tone of flexibility too! I'm sorry huh? How do you have both? No wonder we got 12 kids to a house in foster care in North carolina. Its terrible! My neighbor would take as many kids as the state would allow and they wouldn't get the love and care they deserve.. yet they disqualify people for reason that are just excessive!

[___LC___]

So kids get placed in residential treatment centers, where many of the workers are barely trained, kids are placed on units with other kids who have severe behavioral and/or mental health issues, the methods to restrain violent acts are insufficient for restraining kids who are taller than ~4’5”, the crisis staff get their jobs by being large and aggressive, and the corporation is bilking the government agencies by serving low quality food and cutting every other corner possible. If a worker tries to push or present research to the corporation to get more activities or even something as small as getting the kids outside for 15 minutes a day, that worker is labeled as a trouble employee.

The system is a mess. I’ve seen some really bad foster homes and some kids who come from really bad foster homes with bruises all over, but the home retains their license.

[brookecarrillo]

As a former teacher this frustrates me to no end!!! I can’t tell you how many times I have had to call CPS because a child was living in a bug infested home, wore the same outfit to school 4 days in a row, and ALWAYS came to school starving. Not to mention their lack of parental supervision or hot water and was told and I quote, “ dirty homes are a lifestyle choice, as long as they have ONE change of clothes, ONE piece of bread and water for every meal, and a mattress on the floor we can’t do anything.” Not to mention the parents not having a job….

[theopkingdom]

I was a foster parent for 2.5 years. Our lives were SO disrupted- the foster agency viewed our home as an extension of their organization. We had to post no smoking signs IN OUR HOME. We didn't smoke. We'd make appointments with a worker for 9 am because we had plans at 12 and would get a call at 11 that they would arrive at 1- not ASKING if we were available- it was assumed we would spend the entire day waiting on them. We were expected to have family/friends take a SIX WEEK foster parent training course JUST to babysit the foster kids or they were not allowed to be babysat. But they COULD attend programs with people unknown to us. Respite Care- babysitters approved to watch our foster kids- were TWO HOURS AWAY. And the "rules" would change depending on who the case worker was. I asked for policies in writing so we would know exactly what the expectations were (after I was told my 14 year sister couldn't sleep over my house unless we got a background check on her) and was told "it depends who the worker is."

We hung in there for the kids we had for 2.5 years until they were placed in their adoptive home. It was grueling. Traumatizing. We were truly treated like indentured servants and the kids were the leverage. We didn't want them bounced to multiple homes so we couldn't complain about anything. It was truly awful.

[bumblebee]

This is something I brought up in marriage counseling. I want desperately to be a mother and our counselor suggested adopting and I was just like, "We're too poor, who would give us a baby?" It doesn't matter how much love we have, we don't meet the requirements.

[Mustardmanor]

What infuriates me is that kids get returned to unsafe homes where NONE of these rules are followed for them.

I've seen kids returned to homes where the parents are not finished with drug rehab, have no job, furniture or adequate food.

But foster parents get yelled at if we leave a bottle of Windex on the counters.

[tx_rebelsoul]

So you're not able to foster cuz your schedule is busy because you work but you dont work and you don't make enough to foster... imagine that... damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[sammieh]

I agree with most points, but I do find it interesting that they require you to have a reliable job and financial stability, yet you have to have availability and flexibility to attend all these meetings and visits and such. Seems to me like that is designed to rule out single parent households.

[brittanyo]

It amazes me that the states have these requirements for foster parents yet their “goal” is reunification with families who don’t meet the requirements. Make it make sense.

[milfywaygalaxy]

This is exactly why I quit fostering. I wanted to go back to college to further my career to care for the child I was attempting to foster to adopt. The years of intrusion and constant nit picking made me completely give up because it was effecting my marriage. Funny how my way of life was just fine for my biological child. No wonder there is such an issue in the foster care system. 🙄 Very frustrating

[cassierobertson]

I understand all of these issues, but it still bothers me. You can raise your own babies with any kind of dog or home setup, but you can't raise someone else's, even if the area is desperate for foster parents.

[syounkin]

And they wonder why more people aren’t jumping at the chance to foster.

[halifortin]

How do SO MANY terrible, terrible people still manage to get licensed 😩

[zadacavender]

How can you be expected to work full time for stability but at the same time be required to be available at a moments notice for meetings etc? Genuinely asking