Foster care training struggles as a foster parent

Can anyone relate to this? Classes to get licensed to foster or adopt from foster care have so much to cover but you may walk away still feeling like you learned nothing.

[swearimnotarobot]

“Can you give me an example of what you would say in this scenario?”
*proceeds to mime putting on trauma glasses*

[waffles]

Ah yes, Buzzwords 101, everyone's favorite class. It doesn't matter why you are taking classes, what classes you are taking, etc, you will eventually take a class that seems devoted to teaching you buzzwords but never explaining them or giving examples. I had a horrible physics lab TA in university. If you asked a question, like "I don't understand what question 5 is asking me to do", he would come over and read question 5 off the paper and say "See, it's easy" and walk away. So helpful, like I can read.

Edit- realized I said the wrong class

[MoNiOl]

You: Can I have an example?
Them: No ❤

[amandab]

I once asked “what is the protocol for [insert violent behavior]” and the response was “there isn’t one.” And that’s all I had to go off.

[Izzy-cpyt]

This was what it was like for me as a para in the school system. Zero meaningful training, a lot of what we did get was painfully outdated and horribly ableist. When I figured out how best to connect with the student I was supporting on my own, a number of people got uppity that I wasn't using their techniques and methods, even though my student blossomed and learned more in five months than he had in the last several years. Ultimately everyone more or less let me do my thing, because it was working, but had we actually been given appropriate, current, adequately educated training we could have saved everyone a lot of pain and struggle.

[elissay.]

I feel this even as a mom! I’m like “ok but HOW do I go about that 😅”

[psychedelicpegasus]

As a former educator, training like this benefits from less time taken on theoretical terms and concepts. Any PowerPoints or detailed handouts can be emailed to participants beforehand (makes it much more accessible for those who learn differently or who like to be prepared). Providing an in-class handout with a glossary and space for quick note taking is good too. If it was simply a theory session and there was no possibility for confidentiality breaches I'd make an audio recording of the class to send out afterwards as people assimilate information in different ways. Creating a google doc for after class questions that can be addressed at the start/end of the following class would be beneficial. I recommend group work for discussion of example scenarios relevant to the material taught. That would encourage creative problem solving. Then each group's solutions can be compiled and more effective suggestions given where needed.

[ihaverabies.dotcom]

I genuinely love these videos. I’m a minor, and my parents aren’t the nicest by far. Social services are involved, and I’ve got a good chance of going into foster care. These videos have really helped ease the fear of talking with social services, I no longer fear the department in the way I’ve been manipulated to. Seeing a new video on this channel really makes my day <3

UPDATE:
Yeah so it’s been over a month since my social worker was supposed to talk to me. I talked with my school counselor who is involved, and she said that my case was unsubstantiated and that there wasn’t really much evidence to further investigate. Which, is complete BS. My social worker never followed through with a follow up visit to my home, and there I’d planned to show her the year’s worth of evidence I’ve compiled of the abuse going on in my home. She never showed up. I have audio of my father begging my mom not to 🔫 herself, picture evidence of damage from violence, written accounts of everything that’s happened, and so much more. I’m genuinely starting to lose hope and I need advice.

UPDATE 2: I’ve been honest with my school counselor about everything, and she said she’s genuinely concerned for my mental health and well being. Another report has been filed, my parents are going crazy and walking on eggshells. My counselor is very involved, and is my biggest supporter right now. Thank you for all the comments with advice, I really appreciated it. <3

Update 3: idk what’s happening. I started therapy and I’m going to be tested for autism, but nothing at home is really changing. My social worker just said to hunker down and just try to ride it out and stay out of trouble because there’s not much anyone can do except hope my parents change. Im stuck.

Update 4: CPS closed the case. Apparently the abuse wasn’t enough to keep it substantiated. Things are right back to the way they always were, if not worse. It’s unfair. I’m not doing good. Like, at all. I’m telling my therapist about everything (we finally got to get therapy though) and there’s a good chance I’m going to the psych ward. CPS didn’t help, they promised me they would. Fuck DCPS, fuck my social worker.

Final update:
I just turned 18. I graduate in 4 months, and after that I am moving in with my grandparents.
After all the stress and work and struggle and even a trip to the mental hospital, freedom has never been so close.

[FictionandFate]

That’s rough. I know you can’t cover all experiences as each family situation and trauma situation is different, but they should do at least 3 different examples.

[jemieculp]

These kind of trainings make me nuts. I was an infant and early childhood mental health consultant and if I wouldn't be able to take a training like this seriously.

I prefer trainings that allow participants to "share out" their experiences and allow them to practice the knowledge from the training (for example using case studies or scenarios) and then share out with the group to allow people to use their knowledge and experience to give practical suggestions. That way the instructor and other participants can help trainees create responses to scenarios that might happen. And it also gives the learners a chance to practice what they might say/do.

[FosterBaba]

Good thing we have videos like these to fill in the gaps

[sarahmonte]

I have learned more practical strategies from you than I have in all the foster care training classes I've taken

[flowersafeheart]

I think acting out role-playing could be extremely helpful in those classes. Like someone pretending to be the foster kid, someone pretending to be the foster parent. And showing before and after example of same very specific scene. (There's a therapist on YouTube who does that about dealing with difficult family members.) Also I find Laura's videos very helpful!

[amyinalaska]

While this can be true, in my experience I’ve actually had extremely good training classes and I appreciate them so much. The agency that provides the training is so helpful and knowledgeable and is not directly affiliated with the State so there’s a lot more freedom. Even though it can be overwhelming (especially at first!!), it does get better once you know the specific questions to ask. We are required to take a set amount of hours every year to keep licenses valid, but there’s nothing keeping you from taking more classes than required by the State.

[DntTickleMe]

I'll never understand as an adult who has suffered trauma of immeasurable amounts in every abuse category why every person doesn't take parenting classes. Yet if you want to foster other people's children that have already suffered some sort of abuse or neglect, you better be educated.. it makes ZERO sense. everyone's entitled to have children, but no test is necessary.. Why do we enforce passing several tests to get a driver's license, graduate all levels of schooling, make sure you're qualified for your job, foster & adopt, among countless other things, but not to raise a child to begin with? Why don't we as a society worry about parents having the tools to raise a healthy child until the damage is already done?

[hot_damn]

My training to be a counsellor was luckily nothing like this. We also work with some kids that need special attention, or have special needs, and we got a full three day course in person and two days online. My trainer who is now my boss went into lengthy discussions with us about every detail that we had questions about, and it was great

[kylejacobs]

For real! I understand the importance of theory because every kid is different every situation is different and there is no perfect example but I get that. Just please provide an example to give it perspective..

[k.b.]

When they teach you academic language in university so specialists can understand each other but forget that the average person also needs to be able to understand and refuse to help translate academic language to normal English 💀

I wish more people talked about this- the gap in communication causes so many problems fr

[KikiSailorSun]

They never let you ask questions, always later and that time never comes!

[anastasiagirl]

This is what teachers college felt like…