How To Make Pain Your Guru | Traver Boehm | TEDxSantaBarbara

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Pain is never a welcome part of the our human experience, but nonetheless an inevitable one.
Traver Boehm shares lessons learned during his year-long travels on how to harness the pain we all experience in order to live the best year of your life.

Traver Boehm is an author, speaker, and transformational coach currently practicing intentional homelessness. When Traver was a child he wanted to be a ninja – that was all. Swimming and playing water polo for Boston College, while earning a B.A. in Asian Philosophy, led to a Master’s degree in Tradition Chinese Medicine from Yo-San University and a career in Mixed Martial Arts. Opening CrossFit Pacific Coast in 2009 brought him to beautiful Santa Barbara.

Traver’s latest venture – The Year to Live Project – will encompass the entirety of 2016 and seeks to tackle the personal question, “What would you do if it were your last year alive?” The project has led him to volunteering in a hospice in Santa Fe, sitting in meditative silence and isolation while in complete darkness for 28 straight days in Guatemala, and will next take him to the woods of Utah to survive with only a knife, a poncho, and a water bottle as tools. His first book, named after the project, is due out in 2017.

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I ran from my pain all my life. As a child I learned to push emotions away. I was lost in addiction for 30 yrs but now 45 I learned to face all my pain n see in in the light of Truth. I carried stuff that was illusion, made up in childs uncognized brain. I lean into uncomfortable emotions now to see what itz trying to teach me. Every day my heart opens a little more. Do I get it right all the time, no! I'm human I am fallible I accept myself, all of myself. I got me !! Thank u for this inspiring talk, the Truth I heard gave me chills 💖🤗

katedowns

When I was 12 and had a broken L5 vertebra, It took me a long time to realise. I was never going to not be in pain. That was the hardest pill to swallow. I have a mantra "I walk through life, hand and hand with my pain and we walk through life together. Cause its forever". Been telling myself that everyday for 14 years.

StubbledCandy

It takes time to recognize that pain is a blessing. Unfortunately, we are taught to fear it and avoid it. With that double whammy it is no wonder many do not want to experience pain. When we finally can look pain in the eye -- feel it, accept it, and not fear it, we have truly become human. It's not an easy task. Thank you for sharing your journey.

lisapack

So true the next day when you wake up and realize that what happened is real and you are not dreaming... man I know that pain it is the worst pain I have ever felt. Great speech

prettygirl_me

in tears while walking in public. so grateful.

kendrafleming

Thank you for this amazing speech. I am walking through a very rough path myself for quite a while. And you are right. I just have to tell myself again and again that i got this. It will be hard, but i hope it is liberating. And one day i will be proud of my experieces.

Much love for everyone out there and practice what you preach. You will find the love inside your hart.

ritalinzina

This video is about mental anguish, not physical pain as I was expecting. Certainly an emotive speaker, but this wasn't what I was looking for as far as relating to actual physical pain.... just something to keep in mind when you see "pain" in the title of videos.

RowboTony

This is more poetic than practical. This is geared towards emotional pain.

tw

-As a person who has experienced emotional trauma, this was intense, touching, and had some good advice. I liked how he used some principles from stoicism (the philosophy, not colloquial use).

-As a person who has experienced chronic physical pain, I hope you were not meaning to speak to us in this video. I've tried to sit in and beside pain and think of it differently. Sometimes that does mellow it down.... a notch or two.... just like a drug. But nothing ever fully gets rid of it. I'm in pain 24/7 and that's the reality of my life. I do think of it as positively as possible, and it has given me a great deal of perspective. But it's not something I embrace or love... it's something I have accepted exists and may always exist. I have high hopes for myself and I do enjoy my life more than one might expect, but I am not grateful for my pain. Perhaps if only it would finally end... but not with the repeated trauma... and the limited mobility... and when I achieve and accomplish things (those of you reading) which I most certainly will, I don't want anyone telling me I'm an inspiration. There is nothing inspirational or good about chronic severe pain. Despite my can do attitude and my cheery disposition, the fact is that I will likely die five to ten years earlier than my compadres because of the stress on my body from the pain and frequent injuries. Again, I'm surely hoping you're not talking to that part of me. I know you've known chronic pain emotionally... I have too... but it's not *exactly* the same as emotional. Similar, but not the same. Heartbreak and loss are indeed the most acute pains I've ever felt... but they eventually peter out... as you said, there are moments where you forget... and those get to being longer periods over time.... but with chronic physical pain.... i never have one moment or second of being out of physical pain. There is no amount of drug or alcohol that can fix that. I don't take opiates, but I can understand why people do.. and if I could take them without vomiting I would. I can see you are a kind person with a loving soul, and so I know you will want to be considerate of the struggles of others. So you need to rethink that part about opiates and please consider prefacing this with something about not knowing anything about chronic, severe physical pain (unless you do indeed know about it, in which case I have had a much different experience to you).

HeyJudie

👏👌 I believe that everything happens for a reason...even when it hurts. You cannot truly appreciate the warm sun on your skin if you haven't experienced a cold winter's chill. How can you know and appreciate true unconditional love unless you've had your heart broken to pieces? Embrace the pain, the hurt, the loss... you will be thankful for it in time. You will appreciate the change it forces. You will be a better person for it, a happier one.

jazzeeeecrock

@10:08 absolutely true. I wouldn't be who I am today, able to teach others how to find light if I hadn't gone through my own intense, personal pain. Grief took me down the rabbit hole so intensely I imagined tearing my chest open with my bare hands to try to escape my own skin. Cudos to you for going on this journey and finding the light :)

ChantalheideCanadasDatingCoach

This is exactly what I needed to hear....I can't wait for my journey to begin. I, too, have been through so much devastating loss and just feel so 'off'. I've been looking for exactly this and you have relayed your experience and pain so eloquently. Thank you.

KippyP

Thank you...I am going thru it and needed to be reminded to surrender to my pain, my cross to bare...Love hurts and is painful.... I accepted its hurt but never it's pain....

piercedtoy