The Break-Up & Make-Up Relationship Cycle (Fearful Avoidant) | Disorganized Attachment & Boundaries

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Emotional Mastery & Belief Reprogramming

In this video, I talk about the break-up and make-up relationship cycle that sometimes fearful avoidants find themselves in.

Have you ever been stuck in one of these cycles? how did you overcome this dynamic?

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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!

This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.

Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!

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#FearfulAvoidant #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #PDS #ThaisGibson #AttachmentStyles #DisorganizedAttachment #ExpressingNeeds #Boundaries

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[sirtotten]

I’ve been in this cycle for a year now. I love your material. It’s so helpful.

[theeladyj]

Thank you, I went through this cycle after a heartbreak, I went from dismissive attachment to fearful avoidant and now doing to work to become secure. I met someone I want to change for and Im willing to do the work

[Soleil.m]

I’ve learned that someone who is FA can be the most wonderful person you’ve ever met. Their attachment style doesn’t define them; they’re still incredibly warm, fun and compassionate souls. It’s just such a shame how hard it is to make friendships work if both people have an insecure attachment style.

[NoName-njmw]

I am a fearful avoidant and I'm almost 40 and have never felt like I've ever been in a real relationship. I feel like I have just been spending my life running and trying not to attach to people. The smallest things make me want to give up completely with trying to be with another person. I want a relationship, but at the same time I don't want the struggle of actually having to feel anything.

[sarrystylesofficial]

I did this, I pushed away someone I loved so much because I was so scared of how close we were becoming. Now I’ve been crying nonstop and want him back but I also know that an emotional roller coaster is not what he deserves. I really want to go to therapy to work on my traumas and learn how to identify my needs. I feel so alone in this. I’m really struggling. I feel so ashamed for what I’ve done and so horribly lonely.

[instagamrr]

In my current situation ship with a DA, I have left him multiple times - and not one of them was because I wanted to. I’d be crying as I typed the message ending things wishing he could actually show he desires me or cares about me. My brain and heart and body knows its best for me to walk away; but then I regret and go back because I care so much about the person, and it’s always the wrong choice…

[alainpatry]

"It really does NOT have to be this way." 🙏 That says it all. Don't confuse the partner with the source of pain - the unhealed core wound. Stay calm, keep the lines of communication open, get together to talk - light some candles put on some soft instrumental music - have compassion for each other's humanity, support one another in your own growth and healing, and remember to honor that relationship which is shining a beacon on what needs healing. We can learn so much from our triggers if we just take the time to observe them and go within. Bonus if we have a partner we can safely share this with. So much good stuff in this video, and super helpful for one who's been at the receiving end of this.

[haikuoflife]

As an FA, I used to push away people that needed extreme closeness and I felt were clingy. I also push away people that don't show emotions and there is no intimacy. Now, I'm on a whole new path and really enjoying the journey of healing past trauma and learning better coping skills. It's so rare to find someone who accepts you AS IS and loves you, the communication is great, and there is room to allow complete honesty. They're learning about their attachment style too, so we keep in mind both triggers and possible pitfalls.

[jayfinlay]

I was never an anxious attachment in my life until I got love bombed and then come to find out after 3/8 years together she was an F/A. Changed me to the point that I didn't know who I was when I looked in the mirror anymore. No thanks. I really tried to get her to do the work together at the end and she passed. I wouldn't have ever abandoned her and now I'll be the one that got away.... I'm doing the work solo the we could've done together. Her loss not mine and it stings still everyday.

[TheLadyIzabela]

Ladies if you are dating a guy who breaks up and gets back together that will never change. I’ve been in such relationships for over 5 years. I wasted my life and have been experiencing this toxic rollercoaster for so long that now I feel like it’s normal. Not every argument needs to end in a break up. I tired so hard. I went to therapy, I was working on myself and changed so many things he didn’t like. Nothing was good enough because the problem is not in me, it’s with him. I lost myself, I can’t change any further unless I become his slave nodding when he asks. That’s I can’t change anymore. I am done and I am out.

[LastEarBender]

I'd like to add that there also can be an overwhelming sense of fear of hurting the other person. It's also extremely difficult if the FA has tried to establish boundaries, but for one reason or another the other person does not consistently honor those boundaries and it just reinforces the notion that the FA's boundaries are meaningless and if they want to keep the relationship, that they just have to suck it up and take it.

[alyssahockensmith]

I’m literally going through this exact thing right now.. but it helps a lot to be aware of what’s going on.. thank you so much! These videos are always spot on!

[turbogirl]

Did this for 20 years with the same person. I've now gone the longest without talking to or reaching out to her for the last 4 years.

[stevensantora]

This is so a great video. I was a FA in my previous years. I am doing the "deep work" to become securely attached. Thank you so much for all the work you have done. This has truly helped me so much.

[hmanfilms]

Just get off the roller coaster the first chance you get. These people don’t change unless they are fully aware and actively doing the work. Most of them are in toxic auto pilot and don’t even know what they’re feeling or why they’re doing things

[HH-pjbl]

Wow!!! What a great video!!!! I wish healing for all People! Don't be afraid to go back to the person and own up, maybe there might not be a relationship but a beautiful friendship can still be created....Of course if that what both parties want! But you never know until you've tried!

[jessicahardnett]

This is me. I get so overwhelmed at times. I pushed someone away that I really loved. And I know it had to be difficult on the receiving end. It just makes me feel like I’m a bad person. I didn’t ask for this trauma. But it’s my responsibility to heal. And he doesn’t understand this aspect of mental health so it’s best for us to be apart and that I continue my journey. Thanks for the video! 🥲

[MaryMerino]

I was on the receiving end of this. It caused so much trauma in me. I became trauma bonded. I've dealt with 7 runs and 6 reconciliations. I've never chased. He cried about how he wanted to stop running but couldn't. He went through therapy. Is currently in therapy. I'd like to see a video on both partners and how to help heal the Traumas inflicted on the receiver. I know he's a good man. Compassionate, willing to dig deep in conversation, empathetic, etc.

[AuddieJ]

I'm an FA & thank you so much for this! It was an amazing insight and I've definitely had this experience personally or been on the receiving end. Perfect timing!

[danielleforce]

These videos have been so helpful. I’ve been in a cycle since a breakup and I feel like I’ve lost myself and who I am. Parts of me have shown up as FA since then and I’m really hoping to get involved in your course to identify and improve myself.