Full of Regret for Screwing Up Your Relationship? Watch This. (Matthew Hussey)

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Ever sat ruminating obsessively over something you could have or should have done differently in your relationship?

Something you said, something you did, or something you wish you’d have done more?

It’s a dreadful, sickening feeling. I know because I’ve felt it. It leads to regret, anxiety, self-loathing… not to mention a lack of appetite and insomnia. We turn over every memory, imagining where we could have been with that person had we just behaved differently.

And this feeling isn’t limited to situations that have ended. Sometimes we are still seeing someone but we have this crippling anxiety over having irreversibly damaged the relationship. We feel we’ve created a perception of ourselves in that person’s eyes that we can’t now undo.

If for any of these reasons you are currently torturing yourself, this video will be life-saving for you today. Trust me when I say it is essential watching.

In this video, I break down for you why you don’t need to be wallowing in pain, and why, despite everything that destructive voice inside is saying, you actually have reason to feel good today.

Please also share this with someone you know who may be beating herself up right now. Life’s too short for any of us to suffer needlessly.

I’m with you, friend. You’re loved. 

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[dudleylandsberg]

I don't want a new relationship. I want to fix myself and be the best true version of myself to give the woman I love everything she deserves

[shreenjandutta]

When your intentions are pure, you don't lose people
People lose you ❤️

[aquapr]

"Maybe it was the best you could do at the time with your resources, with your current wounds, with the knowledge that you had in the moment. Maybe it was your best at the time"

[harrycrowe]

I think when we meet someone we seem to get along with so well, when there's so much chemistry, we can get so comfortable talking to them that we can tend to open up and reveal far too much of ourselves too quickly and forget how closely the other person is analyzing and testing us. That's where I screwed up. But still, the right relationship shouldn't be that brittle with no second chances.

[clara_]

The ‘regretting how you behaved in a situation’ really hit hart, it made me tear up. Time to stop blaming ourselves, thank you Matthew.

[RiyashiChanda]

The right relationship isn't brittle ❤️

[SweetMoon]

I needed this so much. My brain is killing me with regret. I’m ready to let it all go.

[juandamaceno]

"The right relationship isn't brittle" dude you have no ideia how much peace this phrase brought. Thank you so much, +1 follower

[aleksandrah]

It hit me really hard: "Maybe it was the best you could do at the time with your resources, with your current wounds, with the knowledge that you had in the moment. Maybe it was your best at the time" Thank you Matt for a reminder to be gentle ❤️ really needed it.

[Jauaua]

"Being with someone whose needs you don’t feel you can meet, or you don’t feel you can meet consistently, is a slow form of torture that will erode your confidence over time until you forget who you were."

[Noodlebo]

I’ve destroyed myself I’ve been thru so much now that I’ve finally seen a person that truly was meant for me
I’ve found a way to sabotage this

[thetiffingpoints]

I did screw it up. Our seven-year relationship ended two months ago because of me. My ex broke it off because he felt I was cold and detached (and yes, he was right), and he felt under-appreciated. It was all my fault. I've been beating myself up these past months and wished I could've done better for him. He didn't deserve any of that. He has always been kind, understanding, and loyal towards me. But he realized that his needs weren't met and though he didn't communicate properly, I still know that it was all my fault. I led the downfall.

I was going through so much at that time we were together and the separation needed to happen for me to understand myself better, and to realize what "love" means because I lost my understanding of the concept for so many years. I had to experience loss and grief to understand how to "love" and appreciate the good things.

I'm still grieving the loss. But now I am on the road to self-forgiveness. Thank you, Matthew.

2024 UPDATE: I received numerous comments/messages about how I'm doing now. It's been two years since I posted this comment. I am now happy and fulfilled with my life. I realised that the break-up was necessary for me to learn and mature. I no longer pine for my ex and have fully processed and healed. He did email me in May this year saying that he still loved me and felt sorry for what he did (which he failed to tell me when he broke up with me). I wasn't sure about the main intention of his email (whether it was manipulation or regret, I have no idea), but I am so glad I have fully moved on since mid-2023; otherwise, his email would have disrupted my peace. I'm thankful to my ex for leaving or else I wouldn't have met my new partner, whom I love and adore dearly. I will take the lessons I learned from that past relationship and apply them to this new one.

To everyone going through a break-up, don't beat yourself up. Don't ever think all of it was your fault. A relationship is two-way. If it didn't work out, both parties should be accountable. Go through the pain, learn, and move forward. Something better is coming your way. Just like what happened to me.

[sarahbocht]

“the right relationship isnt brittle.” 😭 So true but so hard when you just got ghosted after planning a marriage and a life together. 😭😭😭💔💔💔

[jketfield]

It's not nice when someone makes you feel inadequate and unloved .

[jaxcarrilho]

I really needed to see this today. I lost my perfect partner over me being jealous over something so silly and now I sit here alone and heatbroken full of regret.

[LesleySASMR]

"Why would you want to be with someone whose needs you can't meet, even on your best day?"
This describes my ex fiance'. Many times he told me that he was afraid he couldn't love me the way I needed to be loved. I've voiced my needs many times and pushed my own feelings of disappointment down to keep the relationship going for 6 years.

[pixxie__]

I truly believe we meet people for a reason. So don't regret any relationship because there is always growth to take from it, or good memories, or identity formation that couldn't have happened without said relationship. None of my relationships have worked out so far, but I'm still eternally grateful that I was apart of each one of them because I wouldn't be who I am today without it, and they wouldn't be either. No one can ever take away what YOU take away from a relationship.

[leax]

I feel like I lost the love of my life, and so I come back to this video again and again to remind me. Thank you.

[JT-wcme]

I wasn't ready for the right person. It really sucks to not be good enough for the person you wanted to be with. It sucks. It's hard to learn that commitment isn't about staying no matter what. Commitment is a promise to myself to being the best for them & me every morning and every day. I took some wrong turns b4 I met them. It really sucks. I guess there's no going back, but this really sucked. How to stop missing someone we love so deeply.. It sucks so badly. I miss them more than I can accept and they don't want to speak to me ever again. So I just have to carry it around. I sure hope I can overcome this and become better.

[naterk]

"The right relationship is not brittle."

This is exactly what I needed to hear. When things were good, they were great. But the moment things got a little difficult, she'd always shut down and not talk to me. In the last two months before she broke up with me, I always felt like I was walking on egg-shells. She'd get mad at me for wanting to spend a day or two a week with her because apparently that was "too needy" and she "didn't have enough time in her life for that." The second that things got tough she emotionally bailed on the relationship long before she broke up with me. As much as I want to convince myself how great we were together, and as much as I keep making excuses for her even now, deep down, I know that I was never going to make her happy. She wanted things to go a very specific way and wasn't willing to meet me half-way, nor would she communicate these to me before getting mad at me about them. It sucks, and I don't fully believe it myself yet, but one day I know I'll appreciate that I'm better off without her.