4 Signs An Avoidant Wants To Reconnect With You (And What To Do When They Want To Get Back Together)

preview_player
Показать описание
In this video, I cover the 4 common signs when an avoidant wants to reconnect with you and possibly get back together after a breakup.

Chapters:
00:00 Intro
00:56 Disclaimer
01:38 Sign 1: They start appearing on your social media
05:04 Sign 2: They increasingly engage with you/your social media
07:13 Sign 3: They ask to catch up
11:04 Sign 4: They actually meet up with you in person
14:39 What to do when they want to get back together
22:42 What to do if you're in no contact right now
23:15 What avoidants feel during no contact

Download My Free 14-day No Contact Journal⬇️

Interested In A 1-1 Session With Me? Use The Link Below To Book A Call ⬇️

Connect with me for more tips and advice to heal your attachment style!
Рекомендации по теме
Комментарии
Автор

honestly the amount of walking on eggshells and handholding and careful planning when approaching these avoidants is ridiculous. i just realized I don't want it anymore. way too much work for little to no return

spiritwanderer
Автор

Bottom line....they are way too much work, the "mental agony and torment is not worth to therapy or seek counseling to get over them..Life is too short. Treat yourself to a secure, mentally healthy connection ❤

wendydaniel
Автор

¨It is naive to think people will be in your life forever¨. Thank you for reminding me of this so that I can be more mindful of making the best of the time I have with someone while we´re sharing our lives together.

quenuk
Автор

This sounds exhausting. I rather be single. If anyone wants to date me, they can get their stuff together first.

Orquet-qjnf
Автор

To me, the most people I avoid, the less problems I’ll have.

MiloSatori
Автор

This is very hard work, I can’t take it 😂, exhausted

Rozie
Автор

Getting back with the dismissive avoidant is totally a bad idea, unless you explain your dealbreakers and agree that taking space or other DA BS behaviour is going to be communicated and defined in time (like I need some me time this weekend etc). If the DA can't agree to these, which is likely, since they are so independent and might feel trapped by these boundaries, the relationship can't be healthy. After many years I realized how anxious I became due to DA behaviour, like lovebombing followed by breadcrumbing or ghosting, and most of all, their lack of accountability regarding their actions hurts even more when trying to get back. It is very painful long term, because as you learn and try to improve, you start seeing all the unhealthy cycles, and want to break them, to help your significant other as well, DA's most of the time behave like "I'm fine, you have a problem not me, maybe you need some space too" lol. They should be marooned on an empty island.

replaygeorge
Автор

It’s wild that most of the comments are basically “yea, getting back together is a bad idea”. I agree with them but good luck if you want to get back with your ex. Be strong.

brandondunn
Автор

My ex broke up with me 2 days ago in anger and overwhelmed. She reached out just now and said “I don’t want to lose you, I want to fix this” I told her I needed some time to think so she said “I’ll talk to you in 2 weeks if you want”. I think it’s interesting how she took what I said as rejection and is now playing hard to get.

Ryuhayabusa.
Автор

Charlie, I love your content, it's so illuminating- thank you! Dealing with an avoidant feels like dealing with a high school girlfriend. Me, an ADULT, doesn't have the time or the patience anymore to entertain this type of emotional immaturity. Also, "sharing whats on your mind and being direct" isn't being anxious haha, on the contrary, it's SECURE and mature. Anyways, thank you for putting yourself out there, I really respect that my man! Take care:)

scottdavies
Автор

My case with my avoidant is different. I always see growth each time we meet again. And, it is not that we want to meet again each time. Life brings us together after every separation. And in each coming together again, there is no pain nor grudge whatsoever which i find amazing. Just at the beginning of this year, when i saw him again, his eyes and gaze was soo full of love. After that, wr couldnt hold back from the magnetic pull. We spent time together like nothing went wrong, were talking so much about personal and spiritual growth, which pretty much is like a continuation of our previous thing. Days and weeks went like heaven until. We though we wont get triggered again but we did.. again, he pulled away, i got triggered myself. Then it got escalated when he got jealous about my friend and started indirectly attacking the friend until he has now disappeared.. i know he is gonna surface when he is okay again. This time i dont feel attached anymore. He comes to my life to teach me things and so am i. He has become a part of myself and my life like my own flesh and blood because he is the only person i can connect too deep with. And imma love him unconditionally, without need. My life is okay without him. People around me do care and love me and so i dont solely depend on what he does.

jailayagan
Автор

Smh I will never date an avoidant again. They don‘t deserve the unconditional love every anxious attacher of us want to give and return. They simply just don‘t deserve us. Better wait for a fitting anxious attacher come into my life.

fabandtherice
Автор

Jesus...this sounds like drudgery & endless work.

CreFire
Автор

My FA reached out 3 times after 6 months of NC. He is breadcrumbing me. I’m not thinking about getting back. When he texts I respond but I don’t give any more than what he gives. And I haven’t looked for him since he reached out just letting him contact me. It’s like I care but I’m not going to let him play me again. Next time he reaches out I plan on ignoring him and if he texts again just going to ask “what do you want” ✌🏼

idalisap
Автор

I dated this guy (I presume FA) for 2 months: I wanted to go slow but he pushed me to open up and be myself quickly; I really liked him but it was difficult to trust him and open up due to his hot/cold behaviour (one moment talkative/loving and the next introverted/cold).
The day I told him I was ready to be my self and open up, because I thought he was worth it, he chose to break up out of the blu. He said that he liked me but not enough, and that he couldn't imagine a relationship with me, without giving me other explainations. He was crying, and hugged me really tight, I saw he was in pain.
At he moment I couldn't understand what was happening, he was choosing to give up on me, taking me away the opportunity to express myself with him.
Now I understand that he was projecting on me his inability to open up, and therefore he was pushing my boundaries .

Trying to give myself an explaination, I have discovered this attachment style, and it hurts a lot knowing his action are based on a trauma response. I wanted to be the person who showed him that he could be seen, heard and loved unconditionally.

sofook
Автор

Is there ever a good time to bring up what went wrong ? I just feel avoidant people like to sweep things under the carpet a lot . Nothing ever changes or gets better ...

rosiechic
Автор

If the avoidance ex comes back, it's because they want to see if they still have access to you.
You can only have a healthy relationship with them if they are intentional about wanting a relationship with you and are willing to work on whatever trauma that made them that way in the first place.

tamsparris-bah
Автор

i only watch these kind of videos so i don't allow my ex avoidant to weasel her toxic and selfish way back into my life

mrpotterandrew
Автор

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.

MoloSaidu
Автор

He went on vacation and bought me a really thoughtful gift. He was trying so hard to make it so casual but I could tell he was nervous. I thanked him but he walked away saying “take care”. It was so confusing…

kirstinkeagy