This Is What Happens When You Stop Chasing An Avoidant

In this in-depth video you’re going to learn,

What Usually Happens When You Stop Chasing An Avoidant
If People With Avoidant Attachment Styles Secretly Want You To Chase Them
Why They Give You Mixed Signals

[sharonb]

This is an impossible situation. If you give them their space you’re giving them a free pass to come in and out of your life as they please.I’m exhausted.

[shekar]

Give them the space they need forever.

[fink]

I can’t date an avoidant. I cannot CONSCIOUSLY treat someone I really like, like an option.

[dustinquinton]

The best way to deal with an avoidant is, don’t deal with them. You can never have a relationship with them because they will never be vulnerable.

[wisconsinfarmer]

Avoidants are not worth the trouble. They are afraid of their own hearts.

[tracylongley]

'I want someone close but not close enough to allow them to hurt me'. But they're the ones dispensing the hurt...

[dodie]

Basically leave them alone and expect nothing. That's what I've learned. I sort of don't care anymore and it's great. Of course he's reached out again and I've replied and then I back off. Again.. and that seems to work. But it's not a real relationship. Part time seems to work for them. But not me. So I've moved on.

[justabunny]

The audacity Avoidants have to think they're protecting themselves by doing to others what they fear- abandonment. How do you expect someone to love you when you treat them like your favorite person one minute, then the next you treat them like a stranger with benefits? That's selfish and terrifying.

[QuantumGal]

Don’t date avoidants. It’s never gonna end well. Unless you like jumping through hoops to get almost nothing and then get blindsided with a breakup from the avoidant

[terryhutchings]

I did no contact for two months after he ended it. He ended it because I asked to see him more than once a week. Seriously! I reached out to him after the two months. He showed up with flowers and an apology. We had two more very fun dates and then he was right back to not responding to messages, cancelling plans etc. I'm done. I gave him an opportunity to change and get it right and he blew it. I've spent the last three weeks crying and brokenhearted. No more. Do yourself a favor and run from these guys. They are all charming and attentive in the beginning. Then once they hook you, their true colors show. It's NOT you, remember that.

[weepweeble]

My only advice is leave them the hell alone and move on with your life. These people are impossible until they see their disfunction. No thanks. So emotionally immature.

[rainfog]

the solution is simple. leave. the moment they back out, they give mixed signals, leave. there is no point sticking around somebody who does not want to be close to you. so useless.

[heidizuri]

It’s such an injustice that we have to work for them but they don’t have to work for us.

[gracecase]

Being with an avoidant is exhausting, emotionally draining. If you are anxious, just leave a skid mark with an Avoidant. It's always their terms, push and pull. Walking on egg shells, ignoring you, then love bombing. If your smart, just move on and find someone better matched to your attachment style. You give them space because you have no choice they ignore you. Why be with someone like this? Not healthy in a relationship. They have all the power, and keep pressing your boundaries. Is that what you deserve??? I say no. I tried for 2 years, it was nothing but constantly worried what I did wrong when they ignored me. Wasn't fair, just communicate you need space. Nope, ghost and then see them on social media interacting it up with others. Really?

[thechillzone]

We need some kind of recovery support group for people who have survived these relationships

[Wolf]

As a therapist, I think it is first important to understand diagnostic labeling as a starting point to address dysfunction, not as a compendium of identities to be complacently accepted. "Avoidants" need to address their issues, not embrace them. They need to expand their awareness and recognize the real emotional harm they cause through inappropriate coping strategies such as ghosting romantic partners. They need to work against their tendencies toward withdrawal and learn healthy ways to communicate, both with themselves and others.

[scuffy]

The best advice for an anxious person is to develop a relationship with yourself. They tend to abandon themselves and that’s why it hurts when an avoidant pulls away. Learn to meet some of your own needs, self soothe and don’t be afraid to set boundaries either.

[ladywrld]

Just ignore them. Trust me as an avoidant nothing will drive me more crazy than ignoring me

[Kazzas]

If you find yourself with an avoidant… RUN!!
They are hard work. You will wear yourself out for nothing. They will keep you feeling unsure and insecure. Keep yourself free so the right person is able to come into your life and give you want you need and want.

[lilylife]

I have a secure attachment style and avoidant people just don't work for me. By the time they come back, I already found a great person to be in a healthy relationship with. Leave them to figure out their own issues, don't waste your time!