Dismissive Avoidant: 5 Ways To Tell An Avoidant CARES - Avoidant Attachment Style | Coach Court

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In this video, Coach Courtney Gatlin talks about 5 ways to tell if a love avoidant cares about you.

🛑 2023 Updated Video: 5 Signs An Avoidant Cares

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Video Title: Dismissive Avoidant: 5 Ways To Tell An Avoidant CARES - Avoidant Attachment Style | Coach Court

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Need Advice? Talk one on one 👇🏾
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[katstewart]

1. They give you their time
2. Offer their space/ move in with them.
3. They will give you money/ resources.
4. They will return to an argument/ issue to talk it through.
5. They will apologise.
Thanks, good to know, Coach!

[PabloEscobar-zdre]

Avoidants NEVER addresse issues, they let them fester & never apologise. Calling them out brings out their fight and flight response. They keep a record of wrong doings and will avenge them. They expect you know what’s on their mind while they constantly play poker with information and emotions. AVOID

[Kareena]

Theres no point in dating a DA if hes not really working on himself.

[sylph]

Just DON’T. You’re wasting your time and killing your self esteem. You will end up old and miserable. Even if they “care” about you. You deserve so much better.

[AS-xnnr]

Imagine being secure and trying to map through this with a DA. It will turn you to anxious really quick. I dealt with a DA for 4 years and they never said “I like you, care about you”…nothing..we’re in no contact now and I’m torn between relief of just being done and sadness because I loved them

[denacrescini]

As the partner of this type of person, trying to navigate through it is mentally exhausting. I just could not do it any more.

[ruggedlifejewelry]

Having an avoidant husband is pure hell. Don't do it, see the red flags. I saw hope but it wasn't real. I believe I was secure before him and now I've become anxious with the cheating/abandonment/lack of etc...I would like to become more secure again but it is so hard when this is your life and partner....

[rashidarowe]

DA's can open up but it will be after a long time when they think they can trust you. They are very big on trust, they also have to feel comfortable and safe in your presence. They are a rollercoaster ride, you feel lonely and unloved as they often become very distant during their deactivation which is very regular. I dont think a relationship with a DA is worth it, life is to short for that, find someine who had a secure attachment who can commuinate properly and love without conditions.

[dustinquinton]

I’m speaking from experience. Stay away, I mean run away from a DA. You will eventually feel lonely. And they never take responsibility. They won’t apologize.

[sonjalalelu]

A DA leaves you emotionally starved at an outstretched arm. It's not worth it. I'm still recovering after a half year of no contact and a cycle of back and forth of more than two years.

[tarawalsh-arpaia]

At about 6:47, this man says he's not trying to say he knows everything. I just want to say, I did my doctorate in developmental psych, in specific developmental trauma and how it presents (and any prognosis for help) in adulthood. I find this man's manner absolutely, immediately engaging. He creates one of the rarest and most valuable therapy skills: rapport. Most importantly, since he does not attempt to be an all-around expert, he communicates in such an honest and straightforward (and relaxed) manner, that he is easily far better than most people with all the degrees there are in this area. Well done and I believe he will reach and help A LOT of people. I have watched a number of these types of videos and this man immediately had my attention. He comes across as somebody you might jut be talking to in a comfortable way as a friend, brother or Coach and that is really the best way to have the greatest impact. Thank you!

[dave]

Your point on apologizing is 100% correct. I had to plan for a whole week, to speak to my wife about the emotional neglect I’ve caused her. I felt so much shame

[seowweetang]

They care but doesn't mean they are putting in the bare minimum effort in sustaining a relationship. You can be married to one and have kids. But its just a matter of time before divorce happens. If it hasn't happened now, it will. Its just a matter of time. With an avoidant, the only thing permanent is their avoidance.

[stepha]

Avoidant personalities traits are not usually an issue to the avoidant until challenged by or entangling with another energy source, (soul).

[r.bishop]

My DA ex did all of these things. It lasted 9 months with 3 breaks in that time. 2 being a month and another being 2 weeks. The SWITCH still flips for them. He's done it again. I wanna heal because I'm to old for this shit and it makes me extremely AP. DAs want everything on their terms. They may seem to be open to growth and change but they are not! They don't communicate their feelings honestly. And you are always walking on eggshells. You won't even always know what sets them off because they internalize everything and make up every reason and excuse why the relationship you have with them will fail!
My DA was amazing initially. Wonderful dates, conversation, time together, gifts. He was extremely romantic and kind. Had me meet his child and family. Made room for my things in his home. And then SHUT DOWN. Came back, shut down, came back shut down.
DAs will hurt you regardless of your attachment style.

[SS-ints]

I know my ex cares but it’s still not enough. He will do these loving things but then disappear for days or a week at a time likely from overwhelm and lack of boundaries, and from not talking things out, bottling it up and resenting me for not being perfect. After 6 months of trying to show up and reconnect for commitment, I’m just tired and drained and feel so alone. This isn’t good for my mental health, wondering when he will disappear and if or when he will come back. It’s hard for me to walk away from a good man like him but this just isn’t okay, the double standards and disappearing.

[flowergirl]

I’m an FA and I’ve had a seriously toxic relationship with a DA and I can’t help but feel like I would be more sure of myself if I’d never been with them. I never felt like I mattered in that relationship.

[vanyasams]

At first, it was tough to deal with his personality. I was ready to leave, but he asked me not to, I noticed signs that he cared I had to research his personality to understand it.

[damalewis]

What's the point? Even if you're the love of their life, they eventually end up abandoning you.