Signs An Avoidant Loves You

You have a complete understanding of their core wound
You notice that the major tipping points aren't setting them off
They are allowing themselves to be emotionally intimate with you
When you pull back after they pull back they come back to you
Understanding the role of hidden depths

[DollnAbox]

An avoidant will make you behave like an anxious type, even if you’re secure. Then, they will gaslight you into making you think that you’re overreacting and need to chill, even though it’s THEM causing you stress and anxiety with their poor communication skills and lack of empathy.

[danitee]

While they sit there unwilling to change, were watching videos on 'how to know they love us'. Love and effort should be reciprocated

[a.h.]

Avoidants seem to have time for anyone except their partner. Maybe because they're allowed to get away with keeping things at surface level with others.

[sharonroze]

Avoidant style partner: they avoid you. You’re always guessing what they’re thinking/doing/intending because they never tell you. Block him Habibi. Yala.

[Mel-vbpj]

I’m sorry. Unless you have children with an avoidant, it’s best to let the relationship go and focus on becoming SECURELY ATTACHED yourself. Secure people don’t usually have long term relationships with avoidant people because the level of dysfunction and stress would eventually eclipse whatever attraction there is. As my grandmother would always say “I can’t be bothered with all that foolishness”.

[verPar]

An avoidant person who isnt self aware or willing to change? Leave them. Simple as that.

[babsreel]

This does not sound like someone to be in a relationship with. It’s like being with a narcissist without the verbal abuse. It’s destructive to your emotional and psychological well-being.

[sunshinehope]

If you're an avoidant, be a good sport and don't date until you're healed.

[nycvogue]

i find it ironic that they are scared of being hurt, yet have no problem hurting others. for example; flirting and dm’s with others via social media. it seems everything is always all about them.

[ghislaine]

For your safety, don't try to know if an avoidant loves you ⚠️⚠️⚠️ the relationship with them can be more damaging than being with a narcissist... They just leave you at the end like a trush, drained, anxious and paranoid with zero self confidence. If they are not going on therapy then it will be you needing a therapy to gather your shattered self back again.

[moondvstvalley]

being with someone who is avoidant is like being in one-way street relationship... it goes against everything a healthy relationship should be.

[lisaknight]

I hate how they make you feel unloved!

[hartleyhall]

It’s so frustrating to open up to someone, get used to talking to them often, and then they disappear without explanation. If you’re doing work to improve yourself, you deserve someone who does the same and can meet you halfway. If somebody needs space, they should communicate that. Don’t go down a codependent rabbit hole trying to win over someone who can’t even offer empathy to you when they dip out for months at a time.

[magicisreal]

This is so resonant. My avoidant partner and I had a conversation in which I said, “I know this kind of thing is difficult for you to discuss. That’s why it took me so long to bring it up because I was afraid if I did, you’d run under the bed and hide like a feral cat.” He said, “A year ago, I absolutely would have. Vulnerability gives me the shakes. But you have made me feel safe to be vulnerable.” I’ve been able to do that because I went through years of a twelve step program and I understand that he doesn’t WANT to be cold and unloving; this is a trauma response from childhood abuse. So I meet him with compassion and understanding and I let him know that while I’m not going to stifle my own needs, I’m willing to be patient in coaxing him out gently.

[overworlddiplomat]

Better idea: DUMP EM. Save yourself and your time and leave. Don’t navigate around eggshells, don’t employ strategies, don’t tolerate bs. Just leave and find someone better for you

[Val-ujnr]

Just let these people go, they are not capable of healthy interactions. Stress causes real harm.

[yveqeshy]

This feels cute but practically, all that chasing, pulling back and creating mystery through layers of emotional depth that's hidden takes a toll on your body, your nervous system, your ability to self sooth and regulate your emotions. It sounds like alot of work, not to mention if you have dependants to take care of, it's alot

[indigozen]

So in essence to keep them interested you have to play the mystery game rather than being your authentic self, which is as fake as you can get and hardly worth the time and effort

[sharlishabird]

These aren’t signs they love you… these are red flags

[gabbymontoya]

This is facts!! Avoidants not only avoid growth of a relationship but escalate into unnecessary drama