Signs of Abandonment Issues - Terri Cole

Do you find yourself attaching to people quickly? Whether it’s a new friendship or romantic relationship, could you describe your experiences as fast and furious?

Do you ever stay in relationships that are kind of crappy (and you know it) because it’s better than being alone?

Do you feel like you keep picking the same unavailable people over and over?

If you answered yes to any of these q’s, it might be time to take a closer look at what’s going on under the surface. When left unhealed, abandonment issues can negatively impact your self-esteem, your boundaries, and your relationships.

You might feel a persistent longing–like you need something, but you just can’t seem to get it…and you might not even know what it is.

Watch the video to learn some of the causes and signs of an abandonment wound, because there are things you can do to become more securely attached and create happier, healthier relationships.

ABOUT TERRI COLE

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[pazories]

When I was 3 my father left me alone in the house. I was having nightmares and extreme anxiety, I wasn’t able to sleep if someone wasn’t near me until I fell asleep. When I was 6 my parents got a divorce. It was initiated by my mom but I’ve always known it’s his fault. He was a drunk, sometimes he just disappeared for a couple of days. When he was drunk he became very kind and caring and only in this moments I felt that he love me.
I’m 22 now and I’m trying to be more trusting but constant fear of abandonment never really left me. I didn’t know that the feeling of me just taking space in other peoples lives was because of that. I’m often feel like I don’t belong. Or like anyone can throw me out without hesitation if I’m not “good”.
Thank you for your videos and the opportunity to share

[guadeloupe]

Hi Terri, thank you so much for this video. I have been rejected my entire life by men I wanted to be with. This issue is real for me and I am doing my best, with therapy to do my best to love myself so much that I won't feel the need for external validation nor the fear of rejection anymore.❤

[Misslissmissymiss]

Im new to all this, and its really helping me with my issues with my mother who i just went non contact with recently .

[iu.]

Right info at the right time. Just started your RLR course and filled out my Love Blueprint. This is the most painful, yet eye opening questionnaire I have filled out in my life. This video clarified that I have a father wound but my mother wound is a lot bigger.
Lots to work through. I’m finally ready to tackle it, get clarity and move forward into a positive and loving future.
There is so much resistance and curiosity inside of me at once.
Yesterday I heard you say : “I see you!”
It cut through my heart and I started sobbing. This one sentence, expressed with so much empathy, love and kindness gave me access to a tightly guarded space in my heart.
Thank you Terri for helping me heal and accessing my traumatized heart.
Your work is impacting me big time. 🙏❤️
God bless you!

[aronbereket]

Thank you Terri. Stay abundantly blessed!

[kaceyleighton]

Yep, mom was never really there. So I either (depending on my feelings for a potential lady) over worked and devistated when she left and not know how to deal with the rejection, or assumed she would leave eventually I would just enjoy things while they lasted. It's a real chore now as an adult to talk to my mom because she seems to have selective amnesia to past events.

[lindseyfranzke]

Thank you so much for your guidance and just for being there. Your energy is reassuring, comforting, and bright ❤️🙏

[sigrid]

I so needed to hear this today, THANK YOU 🙏 It is exactly what I feel.. I am so grateful for this wonderful channel, it’s healing words 🌹🌹🌹

[tinavilleneuve]

Hi Terri, we spoke briefly on zoom last year you spoke on The Year of Miracles. I was the last person speaking before your talk ended.
I listened to this video, and I related to you on so much. One thing was when you talked about breaking up with your boyfriends before they did. I actually just had a 1 year relationship, but I didn't break up first. He did. Boy or boy, did it hurt. In reality, I knew it wasn't a healthy relationship.
I really wish you could be my therapist, but unfortunately I don't make much money, as I'm on welfare permanent disability. Since in my 20's I've been seeking help on and off but never finished any sessions for abandonment issues, I'm 58 now. I still really have problems problems with my family.😢

[alexgibson]

Fascinating thank you. Is the main difference between abandonment and bpd the emotional regulation part?

[BlackThorndRose]

I have all the symptoms, but I still find it confusing and hard to distinguish if it stems from my childhood or not. My dad was a bit emotionally absent, but as actions speak louder than words I know he loves me very much and no matter what. Even with all the trouble I gave my parents from being a rebel adolescent to addiction in my latest teens and most of my twenties, my dad was always there for me. Emotionally I was much closer to my mom, but when shit hit the fan for me, my dad was always by my side, he always stepped up when I needed help, even when he really didn’t have to, I was already an adult by then. It did sometimes bother me that he wasn’t as emotionally there as I wanted him to be, but I still question if that’s really the cause of my abandonment issues, especially considering the rest of my story and the relationships that may have played a part.

[FransceneJK]

Damn I’m guilty of all of these. Idk how to fix this and stop feeling this way. Every time I fight with my boyfriend I feel like NOW, like NOW during THIS fight he will leave. He doesn’t. But ok maybe NEXT FIGHT has to be the last straw for him. It’s so exhausting. I know why I feel like this and where it comes from but idk how to fix this no matter how much self talk or affirmation talk I do with myself.