Dr. Ramani Explains How-To Spot a Gaslighter

In this video, Dr. Ramani explains how to spot a gaslighter and recognize the subtle signs of gaslighting in relationships. Learn to identify manipulation tactics and understand the psychological impact of gaslighting. Discover practical tips for protecting yourself and responding effectively to maintain your mental well-being. Gain valuable insights from Dr. Ramani on dealing with gaslighting and safeguarding your emotional health.

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[freepirit]

I just had to get to the place where I asked myself, "If they're so great, why do I always feel like shit around them?"

[MsWill]

"He has always been really nice to me" Yes, because you are not In a relationship with him.

[markwilliamson]

I lived with this type of gaslighting for decades. There was a side of my wife that was reserved for me and me only. Everyone thought she was the nicest, sweetest, most loving, kind and considerate person in the world. I decided that the only way to save my sanity was to divorce her and never make contact again. I briefly struggled with what I would tell friends and family as to why we were getting divorced after nearly 40 years. I knew no one would believe my side of the story so whenever anyone asked, I simply stated "I have my reasons" and left it at that. I knew what I had gone through and I didn't have to justify it to anyone. I'm much happier now and remarried to a truly wonderful woman.

[krazykirl]

When I was 8 it was my sister's 5th birthday and my Mom decided to take us out for a meal. As I sat down in the restaurant, I had knocked a loose ledge on the window made of metal that came crashing down. Before this all happened I was a confused child, my Mom so nice out in public and a monster to me at home. My self esteem was non existent. And here I was in front of everyone at the restaurant doing something wrong again. My Mom shouted at me. Made me feel even worse because now it's my sister's, the golden childs birthday. I'm stuffing it up it for her.
The food came, I took a mouthful. I didn't notice, but a lady from another table had been watching me the whole time, she must've seen the sadness on my face. While I still was chewing my food she came up to me, stood between my Mom and looked at me. She said, "Don't you ever forget how beautiful you are." I thought perhaps she got the wrong person because it was, after all, my sister's birthday and now I have the attention on me. Another thing I thought I was going to get shouted at for. My Mom quickly piped up and said to me in a rushed tone, "So don't you say thank you the nice lady?" I couldn't because the reason I stuffed food in my mouth was to stop the tears from falling so that my Mom wouldn't notice I was crying. Therefore I couldn't say thank you to the lady. Anyway, it took many years for me to realise exactly what she was doing, cos honestly that night at the age of 8, I just couldn't keep going on like that. She was an angel. That's what I believe anyway.

[vaunmalone]

My grandmother would describe such a person "as a street angel and a house devil"

[sunnydaye]

As a young girl I begged my narc mom to treat me like she treated strangers. She was so nice in public and so cruel in private. Its awful growing up with them.

[keyrone]

“Charming in public, abusive in private” thanks Dr Ramani

[tjsurname]

As a former criminal investigator, this was always a "tell tale" for a psychopath. Externally charming and manipulative and "nice", where someone very close to them - usually a female/ Wife would be too scared to tell a different story. It is a hallmark of severe Domestic Violence. It is a control mechanism that shuts off their target to any form of help or support, and they are trapped.

[NarcSurvivor]

The narcissist wants you to doubt yourself. They don’t care about what is right or true.

[andromedacarina]

"But your mother's SO NICE!" If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that, I could retire today.

[elexybr]

I'm older than dirt. Take it from me: leave, get away as soon as possible and do not look back. Look forward. The alternative is to waste your precious life. Get healthy and live it.

[soulcandytarot]

I was married to that... for years I thought I was going insane... turns out I just needed to leave, so I did.😊

[kendrickjobe]

When Dr Ramami said “since most people don’t understand narcissism, they think you are the problem”— I felt that 🥺

[devidaughter]

"narcissistic abuse shrinks us, makes us small, it makes us anxious" (10:00)

[juliekyle]

I lost count of the amount of people who have said to me ' wow I'm so surprised, he's so nice, kind and helpful '

[moirateresa]

This was me as a teenager living with my Grandma. Everyone thought I was ungrateful, but she treated me like shit! When I met my husband, he's the same person all the time! I love him so much.

[AlisonBSL]

One of the most painful things. This form of gaslighting means you're always on your own. No one believes what happens behind closed doors. It also makes you feel you are the problem, because they are so "nice" to everyone else.

[MargotMugs]

The problem is, when you're their child you don't say "I was wrong about them", you say -"there is something wrong with ME"

[jills]

This is one of the reasons it took me so long to realize I was raised in toxic narcissism. Now I have to deal with the back blow of being the bad guy that cut out my narcissist because they are crying to others about me cutting them out. At this point, I've gotten ok with being the villain in other people's stories. Just as long as I can live my life in peace.

[flamissia]

This describes my mother totally. The world outside the home thinks she's so wonderful, but the minute the doors close, the mask comes off. I grew up believing something was terribly wrong with me. Now I see she's used me as her emotional garbage can.