Communication Tips for Toxic Coworkers: 5 Phrases to Defend Yourself!

Communicating with toxic coworkers can be a challenge. Their rude comments can be unexpected. You might not know how to react. You might be stuck for words and not know what to say. This is exactly the response that toxic coworkers expect because most people don't stand up to them. The most common response to toxic coworkers is people ignore their rude comments or overlook their toxic behaviour. And that is why they continue to be toxic in the workplace!

But in this video, I teach you exactly how to respond to a toxic coworker's rude comments at work. So you can deal with the situation rather than ignore it. And hopefully prevent them from being toxic toward you in the future.

You will learn effective communication tips for toxic coworkers and five phrases to defend yourself. Watch this video to find out what these phrases are!

Timestamps:
00:00 Communication tips toxic coworkers
00:29 Phrase 1
02:36 Phrase 2
03:49 Phrase 3
05:07 Phrase 4
06:33 Phrase 5
07:50 Avoid being a toxic boss

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[nicolegreen]

These are mine:

1. Say that again so that everyone can hear.
2. Was that supposed to be helpful?
3. Did that make you feel good?
4. Why did you say that?
5. What does that mean?
6. That’s rude.

When someone says I xyz, but….

I follow up with “anything before but is bullshit. You said what you meant.”

People don’t fk with me.

[STMARTIN]

These can not only be effective at work but with inlaws and family members

[yomomma]

I disagree. You never let ppl know how it makes you feel. You stay away from toxic coworkers. This advice just makes them more happy that they got to you. This is not good advice.

[sunvaj]

How do you defend yourself when a non-profit executive director harass you, put you down, and discriminate you in front of another staff?

[heresthethingyouguys]

You have to be ruthless with people like that, those polite answers will only make them laugh

[Titant]

The problem is that being nice and respectful doesn't always help against toxic people. Especially if they are control freaks or they simply hate you for some reason (even if you don't know why). Simply adres the behaviour towards the manager and tell them that if nothing changes you start ignoring the said employee. Then actually don't react to things, they don't exist and your work day is fine. They are not your problem. Reward them by doing as they say when they ask nicely and if they act horrendous start ignoring them. This will make it fester because they don't get the reaction they are looking for. The nuclear option (which i did today) is tell them you are ignoring them due to their behaviour. The employee in question started being verbally abusive (digitally) and then took the rest of the day off. Informed my manager after the situation and i will see how it unfolds. I didn't like doing it, but it does work. And if you pester someone day after day after day, someone will figure out a way to deal with you.

Showed the manager the messages she send where her abusive behaviour was visible and that others have seen the toxic behaviour. The lesson is, don't take a toxic persons shit. You are an adult employee and as an adult you don't always have to play nice with people that are incapable of such behaviour. Ignoring someone's existence is an intimidating move, that will throw of most people. Nothing is more concerning to someone with an ego to not have the ego validated and getting silence in return which scares insecure people. And if you lay your ground work by collecting evidence, addressing the behaviour beforehand multiple times towards management, you show the most important thing. That you are not to be messed with and that their behaviour will get them in trouble. I've stopped taking shit from toxic people at some point, and you'll come across them and you'll have to deal with them. This can be a proces of months a thick skin and a lot of patience. They'll either get in line and behave themselves or you can crush their ego's, which their negative behaviour feeds. If you don't feed the negative behaviour, most of these people's fragile ego's implode and they start making irrational moves. Their behaviour will become evident and it will come back to haunt them. Try it, it works.

[airangel]

Kara, I absolutely love your videos! This is so useful, and would've helped me that one time a "friend" of mine (not anymore), called me a "weak link" in front of our peers. It surprised me and I didn't know how to respond, especially since it was completely uncalled for and she said it out of the blue. I believe she was just venting her stress at that moment, and I could've called her out and clarified what her intention was. I'll definitely apply this going forward.

[kino]

And if you ask someone if they intended on it, no one in a work environment will say yes to that, of course they will deny that.

[gologanlarisa]

You are AWESOME Miss Kara!!!
It’s a huge pleasure to watch your videos!!!

[wyc]

I like your channel. It's amazing. Directly to describe how this world is with accuracy.
Savage people will be doing things like that. To analysis them is interesting.
To find a way to fight back is wonderful.

[alanagimpel]

- ‘ I feel offended by what you just said. Was it your attention.
Reply from the toxic person
- ‘ I am sorry for how you feel’
Alternatives reply
‘ you took my words out of consent’
‘ you are too sensitive ‘
‘ you are not listening’
‘ it was constructive feedback ‘- even it was BS.
‘ I can’t responsibility for your feelings. This is your perception of being hurt that is not true’
The point is, a toxic person will win as long as one polite with them.
The remark ‘ How I feel ‘would immediate put you in a weaker position.

[paulaclarke]

I think those responses are very professional. They confront the toxic coworker, but don’t bring you down to their level of aggression.

[pleasestop]

Thankyou for sharing.These come in handy, for those insufferable people who walk amongst us.🙂

[mothermaat]

Hi Kara, I love your energy, is Nelson from Penguin Employee, I would love to collaborate and interview you, I am based in the UK, please feel free to get in touch

[kararonin]

How do you deal with toxic or rude coworkers?

[asifmuniruniverse]

Actually see to peoples nature and, how they understand better then I reply them to that tone, its doesn't mean with bad attitude

[redsoul]

The earrings go nicely with your blouse. These suggestions would be very useful.🙂

[jared]

This is great Kara, practical information for developing these sorts of soft skills is very helpful and lacking from many creators 👍👍👍

[claudejansen]

thank you and we appreciate all the advise esp me been a relatively new manager🙌

[timetraveller]

What do you say to someone saying to you: “I’m sorry you feel that way”))