How to overcome Limerence (Love Addiction) using 13 steps.

Join renowned psychologist Dr. Becky Spelman as she delves into the world of Limerence, often referred to as Love Addiction, in this insightful and transformative video. Dr. Spelman, with her extensive experience in psychology, shares her expertise on how to overcome the intense and sometimes overwhelming feelings associated with Limerence.

Throughout this video, Dr. Spelman will guide you through 13 essential steps to navigate and heal from Love Addiction. These steps are designed to empower individuals who find themselves caught in the whirlwind of Limerence, offering practical advice and psychological insights for recovery and self-growth.

Dr. Spelman's approach is compassionate, informed, and deeply empathetic, offering viewers a supportive path out of Limerence. Whether you're personally struggling with Love Addiction or know someone who is, this video is an invaluable resource.

Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe to our channel for more insightful videos from Dr. Becky Spelman and other experts in the field of psychology. Your journey towards emotional well-being starts here.

#limerence #loveaddiction #unhealthyrelationship

Dr. Becky Spelman is a top Psychologist in London, Becky is the Clinic Director for Private Therapy Clinic which has clinic's based all around central London including; Harley Street, Wigmore Street, Bank, Earls Court & Canary Wharf. Becky uses Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Mindfulness to treat a range of difficulties with a particular interest in Borderline Personality Disorder and the difficulties that go with this condition such as relationship difficulties, anxiety, depression, low-self esteem, social anxiety, fear of public speaking, fear of intimacy, interpersonal difficulties, anger, body image issues, eating disorders and addictions.

00:00 - Introduction to Limerence
00:52 - Identifying Limerence: Differentiating from Love
02:53 - Getting Realistic: Accepting the Reality
04:35 - Facing Rejection: Confronting Unrequited Feelings
06:12 - Choosing Appropriate Partners: Realistic Selection
08:06 - Shifting Relationship Dynamics: Selecting Interested Partners
10:50 - Setting Intentions and Boundaries: Discipline and Self-Respect
13:56 - Managing Attractions and Friendships: Avoiding Friendzone
15:06 - Embracing Less Intense Relationships: Choosing Security
16:12 - Establishing Clear Relationship Goals: Realistic Expectations
18:03 - Conclusion: Realism in Partner Selection

For further help with this topic you can contact us here:

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[kjb]

What makes limerence dangerous is when the object of your obsession is playing mind games with you. I was lovebombed then ghosted, then he hoovered back, and left again.

[knitterscheidt]

I've suffered from limerence several times in my 60 plus year life. Of course it wasn't identified in my youth so I struggled to understand it's not love. Limerence always entered my life when I was afraid my dreams were dying and my life felt mundane. The LO always seemed an exciting change to shake things up and renew my life energy. Once I identify this is limerence and why it's occurring it lifts like a veil. I must be vigilant to stop recurrence.

[cbgh]

I literally fall for any guy who gives me the slightest amount of attention or buy me drinks. Loneliness is just really frustrating. I attribute this to the lack of positive attention in my formative years. The maladaptive daydreaming is like a sort of coping mechanism to deal with the fact that that having no guy showing interest in me. It's a desperate feeling that I dont even care whether I like the person or not.

[tatorick]

I don't want to fall out of limerence with a singular person. I just don't want to feel it at all ever again. It's horrible.

[nikkic]

I never understand why I had such intense feeling for someone I have just met until recently. I think mine comes from abandonment. So now I'm working to fix it (if I can) because it truly is painful.

[benja_mint]

my favorite strategy is just to immediately ask them out in a very explicit way as soon as possible after i notice the limmerancing beginning. that way i can just get rejected (or not) as quickly as possible and move on without wasting the emotional energy only to get the same outcome later on anyway

[st-m]

5:30 / sorry but I faced my limerence - he said he was not interested in a relationship - just a fling. I went no contact. And it still comes back as angry intrusive thoughts. All it did was embarrass me + give the guy a big ego 🤷🏻‍♀️ didn’t really help at all!!! I wouldn’t recommend confronting the person - just end it yourself.

[labratty]

The inner child in me keeps tripping up. I give her a hug, educate myself, pick her up, and, move on.

[louisecampbell]

Becky you are spot on! When you said when limerent you tend to go for people that are unattainable. With myself my LO's were either married, or in a relationship. I found that when I'm limerent I don't want to see ANY FAULTS with that person AT ALL. This is how I know that it's limerance. I would say to myself "Ah see what your doing your putting him up on a pedestal". So unattainable, and pedestal. That's how I know!!!

[anneliesewright]

I experienced limerence towards my husband after he quit treating me with love & attention, so I started fantasizing about the way he treated me while we were dating. When things didn't get better, I became clingy, which drove him away. I continued to fantasize about him for years. I'm finally facing this reality as I'm researching what limerence is. Btw, being with other men who I wasn't "as attracted to" didn't help me at all. It only made me compare them to my husband, so I wasn't satisfied. I want to be with someone that I love the way I loved him. It was real love in the beginning. It only turned to limerence after he changed & made me uncertain of his feelings.

[fiction]

When certainty arrives, limerence dies.

[sandrag]

I keep writing down: "I don´t want a man who doesn´t want me."

[theirishfairy]

Great information! Thank you ! I would add to that saying no Tarot or twin flame readings with this. My Bestie was constantly going on utube for tarot readings when she was in the state and it was making everything worse for her.

[michaelhussey]

At 5.22 the key point is made : that when certainty is established, when you cannot ever maintain hope, fantasy or expectation, then limerance evaporates for good.

[mariposarosa]

This leaves out so many important things. People who experience limerence are often lacking severely in getting their needs met real life, have a history of trauma, their relationship with themselves is broken, and when someone is attracted to them they lose interest, because their psyche never learned how to accept love since real love was never available. Additionally, the LO often embodies qualities they themselves need to develop and strengthen. Addressing these issues is how to get over limerance, trying to force oneself to follow the steps in the video by sheer willpower before addressing the underlying causes will lead to certain failure and recurrence, possibly with a different LO.

[MeAnINFP]

That doesn't quite make sense saying that if you experience rejection then the limerence will go away. Limerence is about unrequited feelings about an unattainable person and frankly it's still there when the other person says they see you only as a friend, aren't interested in a relationship, say no if you ask to date them, etc. Although blurry boundaries even after they say this is common and it is triggered initially by uncertanity. The only thing that really works imo is to go no contact.

[jurieccilliers]

Something to add is: "Get out of the house and meet many new people."
This can also go with doing new things that interest you to guide the mind away from the limerent object and toward your SMART goals.

[TheSoftLifeMeditations]

I am in shock and at the same time i feel so much relief. I suffered from limerence for such a long time and didnt know. I started to get limerent on someone recently and today I had the realisation that something is totally wrong about this feeling. It came to me after realising I prefer to fantasize than actually be with that person, etc. Insane

[geekyogurtcup]

Great video!! I have clients who have limerant patterns who really struggle to stop fantasising. They even find a certain comfort in it, despite the distress it is ultimately causing.

[yamiletvazquez]

I’ve struggled with Limerence all my life and it usually happens when I feel bored or stuck. If I’m going through a tough time mentally my brain will automatically go to Limerence. I finally found the person I’m obsessed with and omg! This guy is so wrong for me he tried Gaslighting me the day after I found him again. I remembered why it did not work out in the beginning and I did cry it felt like a breakup my feelings were hurt but my mind is clear and there’s no way I can allow this person back in my life. I was happy I found him again but now I know and it’s easier for me to let go. Certain songs that give motivation and strength are on repeat and I’m getting better at staying present it’s not easy but I’m getting better. There is hope you’re not crazy it’s embarrassing yes but hey I’m not the only one going through this and that helps.