LIMERENCE: How to Stop the Nightmare of Codependent Obsession

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Growing up in an atmosphere of lies has a terrible way of damaging your ability, even in adulthood, to detect lies and deceit coming from the people around you. When you've been romantically exploited, and your urge is to give them MORE rather than help yourself, it's time to get serious about your recovery. In this letter I respond to a letter from a woman who abandoned her own recovery program for a fresh start in a foreign country, and was soon giving money to manipulative boyfriend who may just be a con artist.
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[pirkeiavot]

Getting rid of my spiritual belief in “twin flames” and “soulmates” as a coping mechanism to justify my limerence is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I don’t know what it’s like to be free of limerence or if it’s even possible (the research I’ve read indicates it has to do with the kind of brain wiring we have)—but what I know is that my level of obsession is not healthy and I hope to heal to the best of my ability someday.

[t.l]

I'm telling yall. No sex within the first 6 months would weed out over half these manipulators.

[thecommunity]

Just as a side note: it's completely natural and normal as a human being to desire community, touch, affection, and all of those other things. You aren't weird for wanting intimacy. You're human. It's just important to channel those feelings in healthier ways. You shouldn't accept all kinds of abuse or ambivalence for the sake of having your natural human craving for intimacy and connection satiated. May your longings prompt you to be more community minded and focused. I hope you all get out into the world and try to raise up a healthier, safer, and more connected generation.

[ann-gelaholloway]

Who else besides me never knew that there are 12-step programs out there for co-dependency? I’m going to look for a local one today!

[RoadRunnergarage]

Being able to live without a relationship is a strength I think .... You are strong enough to not be reliant on it... Hobbies help me with this .

[tahitihawaiiblue]

Money is a HUGE red flag. If a person (especially a man) enquirers about money even slightly for me, after what I had experienced, is a run away fast!!!

[zoooejenkins]

Thank you for exposing the ugliness and treachery of limerence. Romantic and magical thinking are not as innocent as they seem.

[RoadRunnergarage]

You don't have to date anyone.. What works for me is finding a fulfilling hobby that gives you joy and purpose .. you could also meet people with a common interest too!!

[Augfordpdoggie]

one thing i have never heard Anna address, is the fact that when you are ugly and have CPTSD, it is way more difficult to recover. As an ugly man, at the age of 48, who has never been loved by anyone, I can go years without having women be interested in me. When they are, theyre usually broken and dysfunctional like myself. And then what happens, is like being stranded in the desert without water for years, as soon as you see water, you will drink as much as you can quickly. I used to do that with women, because something is better than nothing. Now, i gave up on everything because my CPTSD ruins everything, it is easier not to try. I have given up on my personal dreams, and i have given up on women. it is boring, but being alone at 48, is the most stability i have ever had in my life.

[juliemoore]

Alma's 1st marriage story is almost identical to mine! Unreal! But do the healing work, Alma! I did and eventually I met a real, true, good man. Not a fantasy man, but a true-blue guy who is now my husband and best friend. Having a partner I can trust with my heart is a miracle. Follow Anna's advice. Make your list of qualities you want in a mate and prayerfully give it to God. I did. And I got 27 out of 28 character qualities in my husband. Don't give up. I married again at 51. There's so much hope if you love yourself enough to put in the work in your healing!

[CJ-ukrt]

so sorry for what Alma has been through. ❤ I told myself that I won't date or even entertain a guy until I'm healed, I even got rid of my social media😅

[wolflar]

Helping me learn what problems are mine to own, and which problems aren't.

[evonne]

I was romantically conned too. Its so awful my ex got a whole house out me through charming, lies, gaslighting and future faking me. He stole my dreams, scapegoated me and pushed me out after I supported him for years. Like the author of the letter I too felt so down and beating myself up for being fooled. I lost my faith in humanity for quite awile. But staying no contact and working on myself it got better, and I have hope again it will continue to. Thinking of dating is scary and sounds like a chore, but I like the idea of "slow dating". I am guilty of being swept up in a lot of things in my life but relationships are the number one most hurtful thing to get swept up in then lose with only my spinning head left, in the dust, lol. Hang in there everyone. This was a very hopeful video today thank you! 🙏

[rsamuels]

I am signing up for your dating course right away! I recently dated someone who wanted to go so fast- joked about moving in, wanted to text all the time, wanted to be interested in everything I was interested in. I kept saying I wanted to go slow, so im proud of myself for sticking my limits. I could see that it wasn’t healthy what he was doing. Maybe he was codependent/had cptsd. I won’t judge Bc we are all healing, but I knew enough to recognize the flags 🚩 So grateful for your channel and your work and all I’ve learned. I can feel myself getting closer to a healthy relationship as I MYSELF get healthier ❤️

[elissacollins]

Anna, thanks for giving the over 50s the top gong!YES ! Never too late for a NEW LIFE ! 😀

[wendywilliams]

Bless her heart. I hope she continues to heal.

My story is similarly ish.

I feel as women we have to be aware and understand we live in a patriarchal world.
It is not men that are inherently horrible….it is their conditioning of power and entitlement and
Being disconnected from their hearts.

So many men play Women’s hearts and yearning for connection.

Belle Hooks book The Will to Change opened my eyes 👀 WIDE about how misogyny is the water we swim in.

It is changing. We are rising.
Please don’t blame yourself for the malice of darkness .

So grateful for the Fairy 🧚‍♀️💫❤️

[jordansthoughts]

I’m in this pattern right now: my first love & I were together for 6 months and it was my most serious relationship. doesn’t want anything to do with me: she no longer wants me in her life in a close way but I keep going back trying to make it work and giving gifts to her despite knowing things will never be the same. I need to stop attaching and accept my self love journey.

[rosyloveslearning]

Such a relatable situation. Narcissism. Mistrust. Closed heart.

[journeywithsunshine]

Thank you for creating these videos! These help me recognize where I need healing myself and also how to navigate parenting my daughter better with no healthy frame of reference from my own upbringing. Thank you!

[smokindisaster]

Every story is my own story.. Thank you CCF! It's good to know, "it's not just me" "I'm not crazy" "I can fix this"!