The Cure for Unrequited Love

The real cruelty of unrequited love is that we don’t get to know our beloveds well enough to find out their flaws – and therefore to lose interest in them gradually. The best cure for love is in essence: get to know them better.

FURTHER READING

“For intense periods of our lives, we suffer the agony of unrequited love. Our sorrow is accompanied by a certainty that if only the elusive being would return our smiles, come for dinner or marry us, we would know bliss. Epochal happiness seems tantalisingly close, wholly real and yet maddeningly out of reach. At such moments, we are often counselled to try to forget the beloved. We should – given their lack of interest – try to think of something or someone else. Yet this kindness is deeply misguided. The cure for love does not lie in ceasing to think of the fugitive lover, but in learning to think more intensely and constructively about who they might really be…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Andrew Foerster

[jkk]

A moment of silence for everyone that love and care for someone who doesn't return that affection back to them.

[summerghost]

"How can you break up with someone who wasn't even yours?" Damn.

[captlanc]

Unrequited love doesn’t mean just crushes. You can understand a person very well, know about all their flaws and still love them. It’s incredibly frustrating but yes, it happens as just requited love happens.

[vroomoon]

I have an issue with this video. What about those in love with their best friend, such as myself? I know all of her bad habits. I've seen her reactions in relationships. I know all of her quirks and irksome qualities, yet I love her regardlessly. She knows it too. We've discussed it on multiple occasions. What then? I've known her for 6 years, been in love with her for 5, been in love with her to the point of distraction for 3 1/2 years, and she's known I love her for a few months now. That's also unrequited love and it hurts more than anything. It hurts her too, which hurts me even further. That is my problem with this video.

[bananaboat_]

crushes are usually an attraction to the idea of a person instead of who the person really is.

[davidgrong]

So you're telling me my crush isn't perfect in every way? Blasphemy.

[annc]

Unrequited love has always been the story of my life and here I am 30 years old and still single. 😔

[smarie]

The cure for unrequited love is self-love.

[RaheemD]

Maybe I don't know the definition of unrequited love then? I was in love with my best friend for years. I knew they weren't perfect and I knew of all their annoying traits and it changed nothing, the good outweighed the bad. The cure for that scenario was heartbreak and distance lol

[susanb]

except you can easily love someone despite their flaws. in fact, i would argue that we love despite flaws all the time, that the very definition of love is acceptance

[anewloveofficial]

Nothing is more painful than loving someone who can never be yours especially if you've already invested your time and effort. But even how painful it is we can't deny that loving him is what makes us happy at the same time.

[MrItsjustmeok]

The only cure for unrequited love is zero contact. I put myself through five years of torture loving someone who couldn't love me back. It's been a few years since I've seen them and I'm finally starting to heal.

[merphmoriconi]

But.. what if you get to know them and love them despite their flaws ? Isn't that how all people fall in love? In spite of the small annoying traits?

[Leonardo_Eric]

I guess social media only exacerbates this unrequited love
Now we fall in love with pixels on a screen and define people by their 7 second clips

[actfray]

There's a great "Twilight Zone" episode called "The Chaser." It's about a man, hopelessly in love with an unavailable woman, who meets a merchant who sells him a love potion. After finally making her fall in love with him, he realizes she's not all he hoped she would be. A good lesson for all of us incurable romantics.

[jcsv]

The worst is when you totally fall for a friend who you realized over time is amazing but they don't feel the same. Like when you "get to know" someone better and that makes you realize they're what you've been looking for.

[scenepunk]

*Its been like...2 years since I stopped associating with my "unrequited love" and I can say that is what has helped the most. I'm like 90 percent over it and some days are worse than others but it is one of the best decisions I ever made for myself. It also helps on those bad days to remember why it didn't work and to imagine "breaking up" again...it sounds weird but it worked for me! Good luck to anyone reading this...you deserve someone just as crazy about you as you are about them! <3*

[therepublicofdiarrhea]

I found out that my crush doesn't watch School of Life videos, and I was like, ew.

[lanlan]

It hurts more when you know they love someone else but it isn’t you….

[User-zzyyxxvv]

It is one of the worst feelings to love someone that does not like you. My solution has been to be honest with myself and constantly reminding myself the facts over my fantasies. The simple fact being "This person does not want you!". The sooner I got that through my head, the better I felt. On the contrary, the longer I entertained that fantasy that this person likes me, the longer the pain lingers