Understanding Trauma - Part 15 - Neglect Trauma - Part 2

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Tim looks at 16 parenting styles that result in the children experiencing emotional neglect.

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[sandral]

Listening to the this list, I can identify about 10 ways that my husband and I have emotionally neglected our kids (between the 2 of us) over their lives (they are teenagers) 😢. We have definitely been healing and improving, but my heart just aches for all the damage that has already been done. We both grew up neglected in different ways and I didn’t want to repeat the cycle.

[juxtaposition_and_dogs]

Tim, you are just an incredible light for this world. Thanks for sharing. ✨

[MTLV]

I’m deeply saddened by where I find myself as I’m about to turn 41 and far from where I’d like to be. I’m single with no children and don’t see how my life will be any different as I am far too comfortable in my isolation. It’s just recently I began to realize the immense amount of time I spent alone as a child has affected me in ways that are perhaps irreparable. This video and part 1 have been enlightening. I’ve always felt broken and don’t know that I can fix my brokenness, but feeling “whole” seems inconceivable.

[rgwhiteywins]

One of the worst types of soul neglect, in my opinion, is when a child shows very strong interest and ability in some thing and the parents deny child access to that activity. And instead, makes the child do something the parents like and want them to do.😢

[cynthiameyers]

I'd like to point out that you can have a parent that has more than one of these negative parenting styles. Mine seemed to be a combination of three or four negative attributes.
Please continue this series. I'd like to see where it goes next.

[lomigreen]

Yes my mother is the child who would stir up the most insane temper tantrums. My little brother and I are still traumatized and working through therapy about neglect. Gabor Mate calls it Proximal Abandonment. Mommy is in the room but totally checked out.

[halfknots]

This might be the highest value content I've found on YouTube. It is revelation after revelation for me, and not always easy to hear.

I'm a 36 year old man and this lecture series has described my life - my challenges, coping strategies, relationships, and internal landscape - with shocking accuracy.


I've been focused on healing for a couple years already but this is another level of clarity and insight.

Time to get to work.

[mariemonn]

Not to mention the single Mother working all she can in raising the children just to cover their basic needs. This is why we were to live in community…not separate…in each of our little box or big box…programmed to be separated…families need to be in tribes…all our healing each other..we have lost are way…

[jacksondobson]

My mam was definitely a permissive parent, my cousins used to call me spoilt rotten and call me lucky to have loving parents and I got whatever I wanted, but I always felt like she hated me coz she just never was there for me emotionally or cared enough to teach me or explain to me why things are the way they are, she would just say “coz I said so”
So I grew up a people pleaser and became an emotional support for her instead

[susansilvey]

Start with: Do unto others as you have done unto you-for every action, to everyone; be extra careful in this if you chose to punish others. As an adult taking charge of your actions, here is an example: YOU are the baby in the womb...YOU are the inmate in prison with false charges...YOU are that loved starved, hungry cold child...We are the adults now-be the adult YOU needed.

[rascallyrabbit]

I love his color scheme. very calming. These 2 videos are excellent.

[charlene]

My parents & other caregivers check many of these boxes.

[robertmyerson]

I wish I had this information and had the understanding of how important it is to be aware of this information back in my twenties... I'm so grateful for your videos tim.. your kind explanation of this stuff really helps me cope with all my trauma and I know that it will help me be a better parent and person from listening to you...

[cbcztyp]

I forgive my parents especially my mom for she was trying to survive herself, she had so much going on inside that she tried to live with... She had controlling critical emotionally absent character ... She fought me viciously as a little girl so i grew up thinking am a bad girl naughty girl... Now i realise she was unstable and had cptsd herself... Now i am becoming more and more aware each day thanx to people like you sir I decided to stop the curse. I know my kids are getting so much love hugs kisses and listening and presence from me

[Jojo]

I’m learning so much from these videos Tim! Thank you. Would you consider doing a talk about abandonment? I was raised my a single mom and was the product of an affair and met my father as an adult. The relationship with him was conditional. He never apologized or allowed for my feelings about lack of a father. I struggle to push away feelings that I don’t fit in, that my life is a mistake.

[gulliver]

Very few therapists seem able to deal with complex trauma. I have seen 7 or 8 therapists in my life and not one of them have given me tools. I have accepted that I will have to heal myself.

[willhelmberkly]

Here is a fun note for all the parents of children with disabilities; If you put all your effort into your disabled child and let your normal children "fend for themselves", your normal children will probably not help you care for your disabled child when they are adults. So, if the idea of having to put your "Blessing Child" into an institution when you are 80 does not appeal to you then please, take the time to actually parent your other children. If not for their sakes, then for the sake of your "Blessing Child"...

[pamj]

The author of the book, “Running on Empty”, is by Dr. JONICE WEB, not Janice Weber. I read it several years ago. Very helpful. Thank you for an excellent talk about CEN, Childhood Neglect. Learned so much to help me. I will reread the book by Dr Jonice Webb. I realize I have mainly had people in my life who neglect me. I wouldn’t know how to relate to people who were not neglecting me. Feels odd. I don’t know the rules of relationships that are more equal.

[vladarodic]

I would like to add here that our intellect is a huge sponge and that he is creating his own world whatever is served to him, whether good or bad.
This has been always the missing piece of a puzzle and that our brains or cortex is just a tool to express the inner world.
Thank you for this you have clarified a lot of the issues for me and for the people in your community.

[chilloften]

We are perfectly imperfect, and it’s going to be ok.
As long as we can admit this fact and have compassion and empathy for self and then others.
It’s beautiful really.
My mother cannot accept/acknowledge ANY wrongdoing. It’s so ugly & evil.
But, ok.
Bye mommy dearest, you are not safe. I need a witness, at all times.