Understanding Trauma - Part 7 - Anger

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Many people with Complex Trauma have suppressed their anger for so long that they are not even aware that they have deep anger issues; but once they become aware, they admit that a deep anger has been there for as long as they can remember, and they are afraid of it. Tim explores the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger, and tools for managing anger in a healthy way.

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[marykennedysherin]

Only my rageaholic mother was allowed to be angry. We all ended up with anxiety and depression, and now taking care of her in her 90s. She’s even more angry now because she’s not in control of everyone!

[raphaellacunha-abiserhal]

Why don't his videos have millions of views? The world needs these life-changing teachings.

[adamkolakowski]

You’re doing god’s work friend. You have helped me greatly recover from a really shitty childhood and hopefully saved my 18year marriage. Thank you.

[leahflower]

Anger is considered dangerous so people end up depressed or dissociating because it's safer

[jenniferstanley]

Wow. You know, I’m not even a Christian. But you are SO good at explaining things and SO compassionate, even I stick around for the Jesus bits. Thank you very much for creating this content and helping people on their healing journey.

[PerritoNoz]

This program should be part of the school curriculum. Thank you so very much.

[scarlettking]

Thank you so much for helping me see what's wrong with me at 59 years old. Now healing can begin. ❤

[Sarahwithanh]

I grew up in a strict religious cult, where “contention is of the devil”, which translated to anger. Anger was NOT allowed; we would be physically punished for expressing anger outwardly.
From a young age, I turned my anger inward, resulting in suicidal thoughts from the age of 12, dysfunctional eating (undiagnosed because going to see a professional for help was frowned upon), self-harm, and deep depression, that lasted for decades.
Part of healing for me has been accepting and welcoming, feeling and processing my anger. Which consequently has resulted in being able to feel all other emotions on a much deeper and richer level.
Tim’s words of wisdom have had a profound impact on my healing and I’ll be forever grateful to have come across this channel.

[Ruby-wise]

I was brought up in an “ Anger is. S I N!” home, by an angry dad. My brother and I were not allowed to either express our anger openly, or, speak up about an injustice. We were physically punished for expressing anger. It’s taken me a lifetime to understand that my parent’s teaching only served to evoke anger at the injustice of being suppressed! Omy. TY Tim for more clarity on a faulty religious myth. Properly taught is…” you be angry, Just don’t allow your anger to harm another and violate the Law of Love.”

[FountainheadTV]

Tim, I have been watching this series for the past year and it has become a constant source of inspiration and research for my own struggle and work in mental health. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for what you do.

[jeninaverse]

I wrote a poetry play called All in my Mind. I personified all my feelings and put them on a stage to debate through my Narrators 'Understanding' and 'Ignorance'.
My 'Anger' from Ego Town debated with my 'Compassion' from Soul Field. They came together through 'Understanding' and returned to my mind as 'Love' .

[dgvfsa]

My anger began at birth. I had to protect myself from both emotional and physical abuse from my mother and sisters who made it very clear I was not wanted. I had to be angry. I had to explode. It was the only way to keep them away from me. I scared them. It worked. 60 years later, they are still afraid of me. Perfect.

[rainaqai]

I grew up with a narcissistic father who only always thought and talked about himself and how great he was. The others could not voice their opinions different from his, and if we ever did he would explode, lash out, and ridicule like crazy. It was excruciating being around him and he would often make us cry or feel bad about ourselves. I would sometimes complain about him to my mother but she always took his side. One time I asked my dad if he would like to know what’s going on with me. He sneered and said why would I? And asked jokingly so how are YOU? I couldn’t answer because I knew that he didn’t really want to know. He just never cared about anyone besides himself.

[Trialbyfire]

I thought beating addiction was impossible or at least was the treasure at the end of the rainbow, but really it’s just the first step towards working on myself ):

[debbietodd]

Fear and anger seem to be entwined in me, I can't seem to figure where one starts and the other begins. It seems the anger bubbles after of rejection, being lied to, abandonment are my top 3. Anger was squelched quickly when I was a child, as was the word "no", you never say no to an adult. Anger or temper from frustration was punished. I haven't learned to say NO until very recently and I'm 69 yrs. I feel like I'm looking over both shoulders when I say it! New to your channel and boy is it bringing up a lot of shit🥺

[johnrice]

As a child i remember having my back against my bedroom door, clutching my blanket, scared to death, hearing my dad yelling and being angry. My parents verbally fought a lot when i was young. Usually after dad had a few beers. He was cool sober mostly, or when really drunk on margaritas, but after a few beers the anger bubbled out. I was always terrified. On top of the sense of justice of autism, I'm the angriest person you will ever meet, also struggling with anxiety and depression. I try to push it down when it's inappropriate, but when I feel it isn't and let it vent, i scare people. Also i have no brakes, no chill. 0 to 100 real fkn fast.

[sharonaumani]

Thank you. You provide a great educational service with these videos for people who otherwise cannot afford treatment.

[annetallegrand]

I’m aggressive with my anger, never passive. I have outbursts and speak my mind. I was never taught to keep my emotions hidden. My anger was validated.

[ehabrostom]

when i was 14 years old and my hight 140cm i was the smallest kid in the class physically. i got angry 3 times after every fight my friends said we couldn't stop you it felt like only death can stop you the random Students came to me to just say wow we didn't expect that much of power and anger from you little boy they respected me i really felt safe after that .
But infact was that anger at my life and my family turned on those boys i fought and i was completely blind and that was scary for me, and now after 10 years i have x10 of that anger and i know I can't let it go its just growing more and more .

[weaviejeebies]

Part of why I dislike, stuff down, criticize, and reject my feelings of externalized anger is that I know what it looks like from the outside. It's so ugly. The word that pops into mind is "filthy". The angry so-called parent's rage displays weren't just scary, they were disgusting, twisted, repugnant. I'd do just about anything not to be that person, not to have others see me look and act like that. However, it's pretty compulsive to turn the full fire of that nastiness on myself many times a day. I've also had to re-teach myself that there are _degrees_ of anger. Mild, medium, intense, a whole spectrum. That was not my childhood reality. Back then, someone being pushy, someone being late or forgetting something important, someone cutting you off in traffic, and serious attacks on self or property were all the exact same flavor of murderous rage. That's all I saw, and I began to believe that anger was essentially evil. Not being able to rid myself of it meant I was evil, and I felt hatred for myself without realizing that I wasn't black and white like my father was. I actually did have the complete range of emotions appropriate to different situations. It took me until literally this year, age 49, to understand that I didn't have to distrust or reject my emotions and that I didn't look monstrous to people like he did. It's all so damned confusing and circular, though. I feel like I need to go live as a hermit while this new understanding sinks in.