The Narcissism Doctor: THESE Toxic Patterns Are Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

Dr. Ramani, a licensed clinical psychologist, is back for another eye-opening discussion on narcissistic personalities.

In this interview, you'll learn:
- How to identify a narcissist
- How to heal from an abusive relationship
- How to regain your self-confidence
- How to let go of a toxic relationship

What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:09 How To Diagnose Narcissism
05:41 Why Narcissistic People Make History
9:28 How To Not Attract A Narcissist
11:27 Patterns Of A Narcissistic Relationship
18:11 Why People Get Stuck In Toxic Relationships
21:45 The Long-Term Impact Of Narcissistic Abuse
28:21 You Can Empathize And Not Forgive
30:42 What Is Radical Acceptance?
32:39 The Importance Of Flexibility In Our Psyche
35:20 Grief is the Most Human Experience
38:06 How To Recreate Your Own Subjective Focus
44:13 How To Pull Yourself Away From Gaslighting
48:58 Can a Narcissist Ever Heal?

Episode Resources:

[JayShettyPodcast.]

What lesson did you learn from Dr. Ramani?

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[thebigh]

When they keep getting angry at you for no reason, that is a BIG SIGN to go !!

[janecumby]

I am a survivor. My motto is “Don’t look back, you are not going that way”.

[lildarkfreak]

“This thing dismantled me brick by brick. I was really well put together when I met this person.” 100% 😔

[jackym]

The loss of yourself when you’re in a narcissistic relationship is so sad

[s.d.mitchell]

Dr Ramani saved my life from a gaslighting, physically abusive narcissist. I knew something was wrong with him, I assumed it was ME...then I came across her on YouTube and she described what I had been living. It took me a couple of years to prepare to leave...my spirit had been so crushed, he stole who I was...he beat me down so far I didn't think I deserved much. Dr Ramani turned my light back on, understanding it wasn't ME, gave me the courage to leave. I planned, I saved $$$, I built my self confidence back up and left!!! THANK YOU for saving me!! At 70 yrs old I am free to live my remaining years in peace.

[queenchenna]

The longer a person is in a narcissistic relationship, the longer they have to abandon themselves. Whew! That right there!! 🎯🎯🎯

[chantelcuddemi]

Empath here! To all survivors of this type of abuse, you're validated, and you matter! Don't give up on your healing journey! You're loved, and you're beautiful, no matter what your narc or ex narc says!

[cherylannebarillartist]

“ repeatedly forgiving a repeat perpetrator, actually harms the forgiver”.

Well this is good clarity!
Thank you.

[DoctorRamani]

Thank you, Jay for having me back on your podcast!

[SheExudesConfidence]

Often times, it’s not about forgiving the person, but rather it’s about forgiving yourself for putting yourself in that position.

[loopylucy]

The name they had for it before narcissism was EVIL

[bettymoncrief]

It is painful. You don't trust your own thoughts. You think you are so faulty because you have become worthless the gaslighting is real. You become convinced that you are unloveable.

[Junegermaine]

Wow!! Empathy as a trauma/survival response!! That resonated with me for sure. I’ve tolerate so much bs in the name of empathy!!

[AmandaBellydance-fwhz]

I’m shamed by my family for being too nice and friendly, they see my empathy as the problem and tell me to basically change who I am. When in reality I just need to set boundaries and discern who my kindness goes to. Really needed to hear this.

[powerfulpowerless]

This woman should be hailed as PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE to all narcissists. She saved my life AND my sanity with her wisdom through her videos after coming out of a relationship with a man who was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. I love you Dr. Ramani. 😘

[shellbell]

I remember that loss of identity so clearly when I left my narcissistic husband. I had no idea of who I was anymore. Before that relationship I was always someone who loved clothing and dressing well, so I took myself off to Topshop (still in my twenties) to treat myself. I remember looking around thinking "what do I like? who am I? What is my style?" I really had no idea. I felt completely lost, like I had lost my whole identity. It took years to get myself back; and now I am so sure of who I am, and happy with who I am - more than most. I think when you have gone through this and done all of the painstaking work (that takes years) you actually end up with a stronger sense of self than most.

[anotou]

These relationships are abusive relationships. By saying something is narcissistic, we need to remind ourselves that these behaviours are abuse. I would reframe this as abusive relationships. The term narcissistic often times gives the abuser an excuse for why they are abusive.

[AshleyDamboise]

Wow. Survivor here… the destabilization, brick by brick, of the confident empath made my jaw drop and my hand turn up the volume. I can’t believe how this talk sums up the relationship that I’m currently exiting. The patterns, the way I kept being pulled back in, the way I disassociated and lost myself to pacify him and be whatever he seemed to need at the time but it was never enough. The love-bombing, the vulnerability I gave to him that was then weaponized against me later on in the relationship when he was bored of me or when I wasn’t what he wanted or giving enough of what he needed. I can go on and on but I’ll just be repeating everything that was said in this video. My heart just found a new sliver of peace to have this defined and explained so exactly. I’m in therapy and we’ve gone over some of the points in here, and today my therapist specifically pointed out my consistent level of empathy and kindness that I keep showing towards him even as we’re splitting up. He said that I shouldn’t want to lose that quality of myself, instead I need to heal and keep my empathy, while becoming more wise and discerning in future relationships. I appreciate this video so much. 🙏🏼💓

[LindaBarberBrown]

38 years married to one. I wish I had known this way back then. Thank you for trying to educate people before they have to live through HELL