The toxic broken heart

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[valerieparris]

You have to realize that your broken heart is because your love was real on your part. Your effort was from a place of love and that is why the hurt is real. There should be no judgement against the loving heart. Its ok to be deceived. It is not ok to deceive.

[sylviasmith]

I think the broken heart comes not just from the narc and their cronies but loosing your belief and faith in human nature especially when the toxicity is coming from within your own family.

[TallKulWmn]

When you break up with a narcissist you realize you were never loved, ever. Yet they thoroughly deceived you. It’s hard to digest

[queentantrumofficial]

Hardest thing for me was grieving a relationship and having a child with a person who literally did not exist. He was a figment of my imagination and merely a character the narcissist played.

[maggiepie]

The thing that ultimately created the trauma bond for me was how they were always blaming me, making me think that if I were to change or do things differently, they wouldn't have been so mean to me.

[ceedeebumm]

“Please don’t feel foolish, because those broken hearts are very real.” Thank you doctor 💚

[houseplantnerd]

Confusion. That's the relationship with a narcissist. Confusion. My narcissist has made me now question every relationship I have. I feel the need to distance from everyone because I don't feel I can trust the people I'm in relationships with.
I fear I've chosen to marry into a family similar to the toxic one I was raised in.
I can't tell who's who, I trust no one now.

[raydurka]

Right at the end: "Why didn't I get a love story..." really hit me.

I did my part, and put in so much effort to heal the connection, only to be betrayed, and gaslight, yet again, and again. The constant confusion that this creates leaves you constantly thinking it was YOU, or that you could do something different to "show them" or if you could just get them to just open up, let go, that then, they would "get it"... but they can only pretend to for a while (which makes you think you've gotten through to them, and fills you with hope)... only to have them revert to their shallow, sneaky, self; which hurts more and more with each occurrence... and leaves you asking: "how could I have been so blind to this for so long?"

Strength to all of you dealing with this, and going through this... hopefully we can all move on and heal...

[jessicaabbott]

For me, it’s the weird fact that the same person that would treat me this way would also stand up for me if anyone else tried to mistreat me. It always made me second-guess myself.

[craftlover]

I needed to hear this! No one in my 65 years of living ever broke my heart like the narcissist. It cut so much deeper, has lasted so much longer and forced me to re-evaluate so much in my life. I do believe they are in our paths to help us learn self worth but boy what a TOUGH lesson to learn. I truly hope you know just how appreciated you are for making these videos!

[jera]

The "good" days end up being the ones where you exhaust yourself walking on egg shells without making a sound...and feel like you accomplished something great.

[mirandalaswell]

the worst part of a narcissistic relationship is when they’ve managed to affect you enough that you’ve become this resentful and argumentative ball of frustration. it’s like you’re crying for help or trying to sabotage.

[christinemacpherson]

I feel like you just told my story… I felt like I wasn’t allowed to have a broken heart because it was foolish. Everyone said “you dodged a bullet, ” while I sat there with this overpowering grief. Thank you for the work you are doing… I don’t know where I’d be without this information. It’s been almost a year, and so much has happened… abuse, pain, grief, hoovering, confusion, therapy, growth, spiritual awakening, healing, more hoovering, speaking truth, new supply reaching out for help, anger, then… blessed indifference (almost)… but indifference is the goal I’m working towards and I can see it coming. Bless you Dr. Romani.

[michaelsmith]

It still hurts like yesterday. It’s been over a year and I still break down crying. I just want to feel better, not even good, just want the pain to stop.

[dlthecat]

I love this so much. It really hones down on the experience and makes it easier for others to understand.

It’s a Broken Heart of the worst kind.
We aren’t always heartbroken over the Narcissistic Person themselves, but for me it’s more like mourning the death of someone that never actually existed.

[jasminegant]

Oh the broken heart of the narcissist breaks the entire world around them

[PaperMario]

Wow. You’re making me really think about uncomfortable things, Doctor Ramani. I didn’t learn about narcissism until many years after my marriage, when I met an overt narcissist and now I’m realizing there are a few other low grade and mid range narcissists in my life. The commonality with all of them is, as long as I am showing my interest in whatever they want or like, all is great. But any deviation and there are problems. Sadly, many things aren’t reciprocated. I grew up poor, with an overbearing mother and an addicted/angry father and it taught me to fawn for survival. My heart breaks regularly when i realize yet again that my mother doesn’t see me or when my husband dismisses my ideas because they aren’t his. Smh. I’ll have to come back and finish this video later.

[klucero]

I needed this video today. I’ve been struggling with euphoric recall lately even though I’m nearly two years without contact. I’m still heartbroken and grieving in ways I don’t quite understand.

[rainarelaford]

...and then the story ends, and it dies, and it hurts. 💯

[aditiuppal]

“You feel ungrateful and confused because of the good days and you feel foolish that you aren’t running away on the bad days.” - another light bulb moment. As uncomfortable as that is to confront, thank you Dr. Ramani for bringing it to my attention.