Signs You're Dating A Narcissist

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Leading psychologist and author Dr. Ramani Durvasula walks us through how to spot the signs you're dating a narcissist. She draws advice from her bestselling book, "Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Surviving A Narcissistic Relationship". Dr. Ramani ends the interview with some encouraging advice that anyone can implement today.

"It's like looking into a mirror, and nothing's looking back at you."

She answers:
What defines a narcissist, and what behaviors are typical of a narcissist?
How many of those characteristics does someone have to have in order to be defined as a narcissist?
What is "gaslighting"?
What does it look like when two narcissists date each other?
Are narcissists self-aware?
Can you teach a narcissist empathy?
Nature vs. nurture: Is someone born a narcissist or do they become a narcissist?
What role does parenting play in creating a narcissist?
How can parents prevent narcissism?
How is the trait of narcissism different than narcissistic personality disorder?
Can a narcissistic person ever be truly "cured"?
What should someone expect if they want to break up with a narcissist?
How should someone manage their expectations if they want to continue dating a narcissist?

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[christanom]

You spend 10 minutes with a narcissist and need an entire week to recover from that encounter

[kunntakentay]

"Your heart will break on a daily basis." So very true

[stephaniewood]

Speaking as someone who kept trying to make it work for 14 years. Get out as SOON as you can. Just trust yourself! You KNOW deep down what is going on, don’t push that voice away. You CAN get out. This relationship does NOT define you. There is hope, there is light. You ARE LOVED.

[sr]

They make u feel like you have memory loss

[oliviasabrina]

When she said "if you start feeling the need to voice record your conversations with them, maybe its time for you to go", i felt

[Alassandros]

Here's the traits she lists in the video:
1. A person who lacks empathy
2. A person who's really entitled, meaning they expect special treatment to be given to them, but nobody else
3. They're very grandiose; They harbor huge fantasies. They only want to affiliate with people they think are as cool or as interesting as they are.
4. They're very superficial; They're very concerned about their appearance and the appearance of people around them.
5. They don't regulate their emotions very well; They're prone to throwing tantrums and are quick to anger, especially if they don't get their way.
6. They can be really hypersensitive to criticism; They can doll it out but absolutely can't take it.
7. They tend to be jealous
8. The engage in gaslighting
9. They don't tend to be very loyal
10. They tend to get pleasure out of the misery of other people
11. They tend to feel empty inside

[arzhb.]

I was with a narcissist, it was so not easy. He never admitted that he was wrong and blamed me for everything. I loved him, but it was like it was only me in that relationship. Maybe the break up was really a blessing.

[pooh]

The more you love a narcissist, the more they hate you.

[maysam]

“DON’T WE WANT A PARTNER THAT MAKES US LOOK GOOD?

“NO, WE WANT A PARTNER THAT MAKES US FEEEEL GOOOD.”

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[bikemson]

“Manage your expectations or your heart is going to break on a daily basis!”

My God!

[Pumpky_the_kobold]

Never think you're not enough to change someone. They're not enough for themselves. Get away. Stay safe. You matter.

[AprilPettiford]

Narcissist people ALWAYS appear to be sweet to other people. But behind closed doors they are monsters! Every time they hurt you and you let them know, they make you feel like it's your fault and that you deserved it. Or they will try and make you feel like you deserved it. They never genuinely apologize for anything! They are repeat offenders. They feel entitled. They don't respect boundaries. They escape responsibilities. They are very dangerous people to be around.

[shogeelicious]

They’re controlling, they’re cheap, evil, jealous, so much hatred inside their heart but they always idolize themselves like they’re the best..they’re like a vampire that sucks all your energy

[lisasheridan]

9 years with a narcissist. I'm a shadow of my former self. I don't know myself anymore. I don't know if I'm right or wrong. 9 years of confusion. Someone in the comments said it's like a hurricane ripped through them and they are right.

[FindingLoveonEarth]

Many people have separated themselves from a narcissist only to continue the battle with them in their minds. I have seen them battle with the narcissist even beyond the grave. Strengthening and building up one's SELF will be the greatest defense against any narcissist.

[chuckdrake]

The best apology you'll ever get from a narcissist is the silent treatment, until they decide to talk to you again and the original matter that's hurt you isn't even mentioned....

[joeylozano]

My God, when she said we give 90% of effort to bad relationships and 10% to healthy ones... I realized.

[wickednikki]

Their apology IF they apologize they'll say "I'm sorry you FEEL that way." They never apologize for their actions.

[alcidesfy]

And if they ever apologise, they will throw in a backhanded comment like “but I really don’t see what I did wrong”.

[PeaTools]

I can really relate to the struggle against the confusing mind games of a narcissist. It's like walking through a maze where the walls keep shifting. Your story resonates deeply because, like you, I felt so isolated, doubting my own reality, as if my confidence was slipping through my fingers.