How to Stop Codependency with This One Question

Stop Codependency with This One Question / Want to stop being codependent? Start with this question: are you more worried about someone else’s comfort more than your own? Are you focused on their comfort at the expense of yours? It should never be at your expense – that’s codependency. We often think we’re being polite or sparing feelings when we put ourselves second, but that’s not healthy. It creates distance in the relationship. You’ve got to be clear with your boundaries, who you are, and what you need.

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[kierlak]

It's often Inner Child fantasy that says: "I need to sacrifice myself so then I am lovable" 😔

It's like creating an identity. And when we're not sacrificing ourselves we feel guilty 😔

[sharifshah]

My situation is living for others.
A most disabled family.
Everyone looks up to me even for a glass of water.

[DS-cw]

There's a fine line between helping others and to be able to take care of yourself, The trouble with short clips like this sometimes is I can see someone literally taking this advice turning self-centered. at the end of the day we practice what we become if we constantly train ourselves to worry about my needs, my wants and you do that for 20 years, The world may look quite selfish. it appears that we live in a narcissistic era far to many of us are worried about me. It's important to strike a healthy balance

[mkm]

with you. You don’t need religion or anyone else’s approval to be yourself and live a happy life. You are good enough, just the way you are. ❤️

[elizabethy]

This is a great question to ponder and keep in mind. I have lived my entire life like this!! It's caused so many problems!!

[msshellt]

Amen sister...I had to learn that the hard way! Thank you for your messages, you're helping more people than you realize! ❤

[cake]

I wonder why i always prefer to be alone and its because im not sparing my comfort for someone elses

[granziii]

It will take me some time and trial and error before I can truly put it into practice, but this was tremendously helpful. Thank you.

[specialstone]

It's good to help people even though some may not be able to help back as you'd like (or timing), yes, boundaries is a must. When recognize too much one-sidedness, others can share in helping (not re-enforcing neediness, selfishness, co-dependency, immaturity etc) Also, at times it is important to stop helping mean, angry, bitter people who treat you awful. Forgive and move on.

[afoolsjourney]

I did this with my son .. I put him and his feelings over everything.. I controlled the environment so he never felt sad or scared .. I’m just figuring this all out ..
my son 22 was transferred to another province with a job .. we have never argued or fought .. I’m a single mom ..
he left to the airport and I never heard from him again .. he will be 25
He cut of me his dad all the relatives!
This has been so heartbreaking!
I was so co dependence on my son that I made him hate me .. I miss him so much and I am so so sorry .. I thought I was such an amazing mom but I damaged my son ! I don’t know where he is .. I love him to much and I put so much trauma on to him ! I am extremely embarrassed and ashamed !

[matikramer]

Good point
Thank you
Really needed today

[bwash]

This is great! It is a super easy thing to remember. Thank you. I thought others were codependent until I listened to this! 😅

[متعةالمعرفة-زن]

Yes I do that even physically 😮 I am more worried about their success and comfort and I am always second to everyone 😭😭😭😭

[gauravmalik]

Man you're beautiful !! 😮
I was hesitating to write this comment but then i saw another comment which says same and you liked it too
So then i am writing as i found a little validation 😌

[brightpage]

Oh no - it seems so much easier in the moment to roll over and avoid conflict... But I've established a pattern of disrespecting myself in front of my husband and children. Like any other addiction, what an illusion that "easier" feeling really is! Long term it brings way more problems than it's worth.
Holy moly...How do I shake this uncomfortable and destructive pattern?

[breakandanga]

You’re so beautiful! 😍 sorry yes I was listening too lol

[AmyHansen-vn]

What if I'm loving somebody thru their struggles? Addiction. I feel like I'm codependent instead. Is it ever OK to love somebody thru their struggles?

[markthomas]

I am not sure if I am a codependent? Still after viewing the video.

[JoJo-juxw]

For a minute, when I first saw her video, I thought she was Celine Dion.

[la]

Others comfort should NEVER cost mine!
I'm clear with my boundaries, who i am, and what i need.

Thats my new self-affirmation.
(Actually in german, so dont mind if it sounds weird 😄)
Thank you so much. I really need to hear this everyday.