When Your Emotional Needs Aren't Being Met in Your Relationship | Brilliant Dating Tips

You just want a little emotional support - is that too much to ask?

But your guy is hopeless when you need him most. He doesn't listen to your feelings, what he says makes you feel worse, and you feel further away from him than ever.

Why can't he just support you? Why does he freak out when you show any feelings?

Dating & relationship expert Amy Waterman explains why men aren't always comfortable with female emotions. Instead of blaming him, take the initiative. What do you need him to do? Have you asked for what you need, rather than expecting him to know intuitively? Is he even the best person to help you feel better?

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[damedeviant]

What disheartens me is my husband is fantastic emotional support for his friends, I’ve seen it in action. Though I see none of that with me. It’s like he doesn’t care or can’t be bothered talking to me. I’ve definitely shut myself away from him as a result, it hurts to know that he’s disinterested.

[niloufarbalouch]

The problem I'm facing is that for me, emotional intimacy and be able to talk about everything in relationships and be the number 1 supporter for each othwr is the value. My partner on the other hand he gets frustrated of dealing with the same subject more than once while I still need to talk about it and process it. He always try to give me rational solutions and realistic views that I know. I communicated with him about this and we decided the exact same thing you propose in the video of me processing my thoughts and feelings and then talk to him but it raised a very big question in my mind. If he is not willing to be there for me, why should I trust him, how may I count on him and if I don't have these fundamental things then this relationship is doesn't seem right to me.

[Orophile_]

In that case be single if the male partner is gonna be useless. If he can't offer emotional or mental support. DUMP HIM.

[ytfeverguy]

Its not just guys. I just reconnected with my high school Ex (gf), and she was like an emotional reptile.

[amazeyosa]

When got emotionally weak, he thinks it's all about him even it's not. I just had a bad day and wants to cry. I just needed his support but I couldn't get it. Instead he starts a fight of other things. And I feel down even more. Doesn't really help showing emotions when you're down.

[superflylady]

I recently ended, or stopped talking to someone because of their lack of emotions. I remember telling her a story in my past that really hurt me and she laughed. She said she wasn't laughing at me it's just how she is. But I remembered that, so when I was stressed or down after that, I didn't feel secure in telling her how I was feeling, or what I was going through. That was an issue for me, a big one. And I also opened up to her again about something that was going on a date or apt that was very important to me, and she didn't remember. When I told her about this, later, after the apt, she was like it wasn't a big deal, I don't know why you're upset again. I just ended it I told her I couldn't be with someone who doesn't show empathy, emotions, and doesn't know how to communicate. Communication is very important to me.

[Kenedea_Lee]

Literally going through this. It hurts actually

[lyrasmedicine]

We told each other our love languages; to give & receive. I would ask for cuddles and more physical affection like hugs, kisses, cuddles, holding hands, and he'd deny me of it and only wanted to do it when he wanted to which was in the middle of the night waking me up...but it wasn't him cuddling me it was him wanting to have sex and touching me...in places without my consent. I left because he exploded with anger at me when I picked him up for work and went to give him a quick kiss. It made me feel so terrible. 😥 He was pissed because he was tired and I was moving too slow for him apparently. And he took any anger and frustration he had for the day out on me. We were only together 4 months and over time, little by little I noticed him treating me different...

[shannonmeaney]

If I have to teach someone empathy I think I should just not be in that relationship

[jaylajenkins]

How do I get my boyfriend to emotionally support me because he literally doesn't know how to, he's never had a girlfriend before so please help I dont want to leave him but if does continue to reply with "damn" he gonna be single

[scottalabed]

My girlfriend of a little over 2 months has a best friend that has so much she’s been dealing with and my girlfriend of course being a great person and an amazing best friend is always there to listen to her and let her get all of her feelings off of her chest. While I admire my girlfriend for doing this and being there for her best friend every time I’ve started to think she’s “emotional dumping” on my girlfriend and then all of that weight comes to me because naturally my girlfriend wants it off of her chest too. That’s where the problem is I feel like, it’s so often that it’s become something I almost expect to hear when we hangout or text and maybe I’m wrong here but I’ve become frustrated because it seems like this is all we ever talk about, things that are stressing her friends out, what they’re dealing with, then things my girlfriend is dealing with personally and things she is stressed out about. I’ve made her think I can’t support her emotional needs but that’s not it at all. I feel I’ve done what she’s wanted so much but now when she needs me for her stuff it’s just so much on top of everything she’s “dumped” from her friends that yeah I can become agitated and then that causes problems for us. Any advice on how to handle this better? This caused her to say we might not be meant for this relationship and I don’t agree with that. Again I know I could be doing this all wrong and maybe I am but I’m open to changing if I am doing it wrong.

[helenkornilova]

i am not an expert .. but isn't just easier to not have to rely on the partner for that. Cause if you do rely on the partner "as the knight in shining armour" ( which to be honest is BS ...) when it comes to YOUR emotional stability - YOU will loose out. Because you are basing something you need internally on something external. ... Only you can control your happiness - yourself, internally. So just be sympathetic with yourself girl.

[JohnnyHoux]

A guy here dying to figure out how to give her support. 

I'm always here for her, always ready to listen. But she doesn't want to talk about what's bothering her, so i can't support her by listening. She will say she's upset and want me to take over from there, actively giving her comfort and support. I'm desperate to help her feel safe but i wind up freezing because I have no idea what she needs in that moment. What does active comfort and support sound like (long distance so usually on the phone)? After a couple seconds of my silence she determines that i can't help her so she walls up and we then don't talk for hours to days. It's killing me.

[bbangel]

Here !! In case my future girl need this

[jennifercoleman]

I get a lot of support if it comes to me putting myself down.

[lovesophia]

Is it bad to talk about work problems with your husband? I just wanted him to listen and tell me that everything is fine but he think I’m being negative and bringing the mood down when I come home and talk about work… I just wanted some support and someone to talk to. I’m sad because of him

[bhanuminnu]

Hey...I really wanted to share this becz it's aching inside my heart... recently I patch up with my school ex boyfriend...from the beginning I was emotionally weak..I really need someone's support...there are people who can give that to me..but I really want it to be given by my boyfriend..but he stays busy all.time..even if I share something with him..he says some calming words and he'll leave...that's it..that break my heart into dozens ...I really want him..only him to be my emotional support..but he can't get it...anyway..

[helenkornilova]

question: your partner asks you " so how was your week? " what happened during the time we haven't seen each other, right? and well your week was one big week of BS .. so what do you say then without "emotionally dumping" them with your overwhelm?

[MetalMeltdown]

What if we have trouble getting pregnant/early miscarriages? How do I deal with that? Same way? Just listen?

[asheshroy]

But when she is sharing emotions and she keep telling bad things about her i tried to stop her and told what is right or wrong and she thought i kept lecturing her and thats what made her say that i dont love her i dont support her emotionally i dont put efforts more over she disrespects me everytime but i never say a word about that and if i tryna make efforts she starts yelling at me and in this way she broke up with me and never understood me how much i loves her