Emotional Dysregulation: What It Is, How to Stop It

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"Feeling your feelings" is supposed to be a goal of healing. But with CPTSD, your emotions aren’t always a good thing -- sometimes they are really *emotional dysregulation" -- an overreaction, with your feelings overwhelming your perception, making you feel WORSE, and potentially harming your relationships. What can you do to calm intense emotions BEFORE they damage your life? In this video I'll explain what emotional dysregulation feels like, with practical tips to bring it emotions back down to size.

10 Emergency Measures to Re-Regulate:
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[wrongsalvation]

I have c-ptsd and cannot afford therapy and I have to say that your Channel has helped me not only understand but process it better than I ever have. Thank you for putting this up and out there. I would say you have no idea how much it helps but I have a sneaking feeling you know exactly how much it helps.

[squarepeg]

When I’m overwhelmed, I sometimes say, “I need a moment”. I didn’t know what I meant the first time I said it, but it gave every body space and I was able to process what was going on inside and respond to the situation rather than react to it.

[dunndusted]

I'm finding my disregulation is becoming easier to regulate since doing the daily practice of meditation and writing. It's a miracle! I'm blown away how my brain is changing even things look brighter colours in nature, and I can hear birds and things I never noticed before.

[bigneon_glitter]

For years, I thought of the experience of dysregulation as being like driving a malfunctioning car. You know how to drive, you have no intention of driving badly - but you lightly step on the gas & the horn honks or the steering wheel is unresponsive or _too_ responsive or the car vrooms forward or doesn't move at all or reverses and hits a pole. A life of no control.

But you still have a life to live - so you keep going & you use all your strength to stay on the road. Recovering from yesterday's auto injuries while incurring fresh ones. But you keep going, gripping the wheel.

[JohnNathanShopper]

Going flat emotionally—this happens to me all the time. I “go autistic” on people instead of confronting people

[karumina]

Coherent breathing anytime a difficult emotional wave hits. 2 minutes and you're a different person. A life saver.

[sofia]

I wish I would've seen these videos BEFORE I ruined my relationship last month with a series of emotional outbursts, controlling behaviours and victim mentality, but seeing them now has helped me enormously to recover from that imminent breakup. Thank you so much for your wisdom <3

[GratefulDeb]

In my recovery program, they say “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” … wisdom 💕

[sherbear]

My parents were masters of the behavior you described. They fought incessantly. You brought to mind a specific moment where they’d had a fight the night before. Next morning dad had already left for work as we get ready to leave for school. Mom is in the bedroom calming packing her bags. I was the oldest by 14 months but I had already figured out she wasn’t going anywhere. But, my middle sister would freak out and find me between classes to make me go with her to the pay phone to call home and make sure mom answered. That’s the tip of the iceberg. He hid his drinking (maybe that’s what they fought about) and was often violent. She went from being passive and pouting to raging back at him. They stayed together 61 years and died 4 months apart 2016-17. Talk about being disregulated. Remembering this helps me with perspective!

[celticandpenobscot]

"Being stood up, it's not cool, but what you're feeling is WAAAY out of proportion to what's really going on..." Thank you for this pointer!

[fabiennepdt]

You've just saved my life. I wasn't aware of disregulation before. As a teacher, it is really important for me to regulate my emotions. I get triggered all the time by challenging students. Many thanks for your help.

[Leeshie]

I have such a hard time with black and white thinking in these situations. "Well if I keep letting them get away with treating me like this, aren't I being a doormat?" And just feel it's best to end things to be safe. Balance is SO HARD.

[tallspicy]

I finally realized I need to sit with my sensations, not intellectualize them which makes me feel what I call disquiet. For me the rumination is when I get disregulated.

[janswimwild]

There is a big difference between feeling your feelings and acting upon them. If you feel them, understand where they are coming from (I.e) PTSD/trauma and take yourself off to allow them to pass through you they will in time ease and move on.
Feelings must always be felt, just not always reacted to and not always in that moment.

[deanaburnham]

This is outstanding. Worth listening to several times. People with CPTSD often let words in one ear and out of the other without gleaning the powerful meaning that has been conveyed.
The wisdom and skill imparted by The Crappy Childhood Fairy is accurate and therapeutic.

[kathynify]

I always was called a drama queen by my friends and I don't feel at all like this. I always felt like I had very very strong feelings and was often extremely disappointed. Now it is all in its frame and you helped me arrive here

[aditimishra]

It is really hard to accept that we can be emotionally abusive ourselves because we have been at the receiving end of it

[r.p.]

The key is to actually acknowledge that we’re disregulated!! That’s 90% of the work...

[terryanngallagher]

Love the daily practice...been doing it almost a year now. When I'm super angry about legitimate horrors, I burn the resentment list to help release it. It works. Been doing THAT for 20 years, called them hate letters in the past. They weren't enough alone, your practice is so much more effective. But the burning part for extreme rage at what was done to me and my life is really effective along with your practice. Thank you so much.

[normalizedinsanity]

I am an activist in Australia, and emotional dysregulation is ubiquitous, and underpinns so many issues, especially domestic violence. Instead of raising awareness to minimize fallout, it is swept under the carpet because of what is says about our society, and government of ratbags that seeks to shirk their social responsibility. I consider it nothing short of a crime against humanity.

Thank you for making this info available, I have never heard of this approach in dealing with emotional regulation, and will be forwarding this to the may people I know that struggle with this problem and hope it can help them XX