An Avoidant Partner's Secret Longings #avoidantattachment

Are you struggling with an avoidant attachment style or navigating a dismissive avoidant relationship? In this video, we explore the core defense mechanisms for avoidant attachment. Learn how to stop the shame spiral and discover effective strategies for how to let go of shame. We'll break through shame by understanding defense mechanisms with examples and offer actionable steps on how to heal shame and overcome negative core beliefs. Join us to transform your relationships and embrace a healthier, more connected way of living.

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#avoidantattachment #dismissiveavoidantattachment #avoidantpartners #rationalization #defensemechanisms #toxicshame #howtohealshame #attachmentstyles #brianamacwilliam

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FREE TRAININGS
The Courageous Communicator

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RECOMMENDED VIDEOS
Defense Mechanisms for Avoidant Attachment Style Explained

8 Signs An Avoidant Partner Loves You

Healing Fearful Avoidance With One Breath

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OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT…

[kevinkurgansky]

Who else is watching this as a way of finding closure after a discard from a dismissive avoidant with zero explanation whatsoever?

[AlanaJ_]

It is like a sad emo Disney poem. You just wanted to be loved, and you found me and made me fall for you, but it triggered your fear of abandonment so you abandoned me, slayed my heart with your greatest fear in a moment of self preservation.thank god for attachment theory channels so I didn’t lose my mind as a trigger anxious.

[kevinkurgansky]

This is a work of art and describes the agony quite poetically

[Pacifica]

PSA - If they're asking themselves this, then they are aware of what they're doing. Don't take this as an invitation to be their therapist. They need to do the self work on their own.

[carolinabu]

It is exactly how i feel he feels. But I feel there's nothing i can do but to just be there and let it be. It is painful to not be seen by him either 😢

[carenweisleder]

Thank you for sharing this perspective ❤ and beautiful artwork

[sifublack]

"Fear is an illusion that can be overcome through action."

[growbe]

This resonates deeply. It represents my disorganized FA. I watched it 6 times in a row.
Sharing.

[HS-buwo]

LOVE this kind of post, Brianna!! Nice!! 👏

[FoulMoodFighter]

Well said. 🥺. I hate that, this I am, & I am now working diligently to not be this. 😟

[roseyoung]

Wait - is this truly an avoidant’s experience and feelings? Or the hopeful wishes of those of us waiting for them to be present?

[cecilang]

I’m a FA with DA. I threw a truth grenade trying to self sabotage. He freaked out and went silent. Two weeks later we had a talk. I said, I didnt actually do anything to you. He said he felt “betrayed”. I said, by what? Truth? Then I laughed at him and told him to get over it because I wasn’t judging. So he can stop being afraid I would find out . Because I did. So what? I let that rest for another 2 weeks. And after that, we were more or less fine. It’s the exact opposite of all you nice people trying to convince the avoidant that you are safe. Catastrophizing happens. It’s part of the avoidant and it always will happen in their heads. So let it happen. And if you ARE safe, then you will have proven it. Don’t shy away from saying your truth and stating your needs and boundaries because that’s what creates FAs, even out of secure people. Let your truth be free. And if the avoidant wants to be with you, they will. And if they don’t, that’s not your person. Be secure in yourself. My FA is secondary to my autism. So the autism wins with bluntness every time. Obviously, not to everyone’s taste. But to my DA who distrusts everyone, it is a blessing and a relief not to have to guess my feelings or intentions. Every time I think he hates it because it can be so uncomfortable to spit truths, he comes back to me telling me it’s the most special and precious thing about me. So please, don’t be afraid of the DA’s fears and feelings. They are what they are and it takes two. Never subvert yourself to please them. You cannot. The version of you that they fear may or may not even exist. I hope this helps.

[chippscobi]

This comes from childhood wounds. I recently read that the best relationships with dismissive avoidant people is another dismissive avoidant. They gave a whole detailed explanation. It sucks for the rest of us that love one of these folks😢

These problems are unfixable. 15months of trying to convince an avoidant she was safe with me. She ghosted me forever.

[vtbhoward]

This hurts to deeply sit with. So much sympathy and empathy comes up, that I cannot act on. Made me want to reach out to an ex. Then there is the other percentage of thoughts and feelings that reflect how people with DA values self above others. All things in balance.

[lyna]

My fiancé pulls away and depressed .. I love him so much

[vyassathya]

here's how you solve it

step 1: let us know

done

[kaitlynlieberman]

I think this is a little misleading. I feel like a bunch of people are going to walk up to their partners or their ex and say something along the lines of, “ it’s OK you don’t have to be scared.”
😂
Please don’t do that anxious
We feel feelings, just on a lesser level than y’all.
Most of the reasons that avoidants are the way we are is because of reasons and Memory in our subconscious, which means we are not consciously aware of it . 🤷🏼‍♀️

[HarmonyHalsey]

This is deep 😢 it's something I cannot relate to.

[yuliyay]

Its beautifully put. But i guess all people with insecure styles feel this way, not just avoidants