How to stop feeling GUILTY after a BREAKUP | How to FORGIVE yourself after a relationship ends

How to stop feeling GUILTY after a BREAKUP | How to FORGIVE yourself after a relationship ends

"I was the toxic person in a relationship." It can be much easier to forgive our ex's for behaving in toxic ways, but often much harder to offer the same forgiveness to ourselves. Feeling guilty after a breakup is something most of us have likely experienced, and can be part of a normal reflection process after a relationship ends. However, there is a point where healthy ownership for toxic behaviour can turn into self-deprecation, which is why self-forgiveness and learning how to let go of shame and regret is so important. In this video, I discuss how to stop feeling guilty after a breakup, how to forgive yourself and how to let go of shame and regret after a relationship ends. Knowing how to let go of feelings of guilt and how to stop feeling shame after a breakup is an important element to healing and moving on. Even if we behaved in toxic ways, I discuss why we are still worthy of forgiveness.

I'm Ash Nord, your truth-bombing fairy godmother for everything love, dating and relationships. With so many idealistic, romanticised Hollywood messages about love out there, my mission is to be an honest, unfiltered source of information for individuals and couples seeking honest relationship advice and love lessons. No games, no manipulation tactics, no teachings about how to trick someone into liking you… so, if that’s what you’re looking for, I’m probably not your girl. My content is geared towards those wanting to learn more about REAL intimacy and togetherness with their partners or future partners. I have a psychological focus (I'm a psychology student) and a genuine passion for understanding how humans relate to and connect with one another. If you're into that type of thing, or would simply like to hear personal stories about my own life experiences and romantic relationships, then stick around! I got you.

DISCLAIMER: Please note everything stated in this video and all videos on my channel are purely my personal opinions and are for entertainment purposes only. I am not a qualified professional and as such my opinions should not be taken as psychological advice.

[puckiepuck]

I’m in the worst place in my life rn. I broke someone’s heart. He was the best boyfriend ever but I wasn’t in it 100% mentality so I broke it off. 3 years gone. He wasn’t toxic he did everything to make me happy and loved me very much. That’s what makes it 10 times worst. I feel like NO ONE understands and I’m so lonely.

[Kate-n]

I just took the decision to leave a relationship in which I wasn’t happy. I was not fulfilled, romantically, sexually or emotionally.
I feel very guilty because he’s already going through a tough time in life and I’m just adding to this.

[NinaPozgaj]

i broke up with my boyfriend and i feel so guilty.. i really wanted to work on myself and i couldn’t do that when i was with him. i think we both really tried and that i didn’t turn out really good, the biggest problem in our relationship was the distance. every long distance relationship is hard but i just couldn’t really do it anymore.. thank u for the video❤️❤️

[TheSherryberry]

finally a video that reminds me that i am not crazy. thank you

[boosanguk]

its been 5 months since my first breakup and i'm still crying at night. i want to move on but then i keep thinking that there's no one better for me. my ex had everything i wanted: looks, money, intelligence, humor, personality... we would have been fine if i didn't screw up and demand so much from him all the time. i can't move on. it's all my fault ;-;

[jplondonkorea]

This is so important for me to hear rn. I keep thinking about the what ifs and what I should have done different etc. I have to keep reminding myself that it takes 2 to tango. I never started off as toxic but my partner also had traits that were unhealthy and contributed to the breakup. All we can do is learn from our mistakes but also identify the red flags in our potential partners early on and raise standards. Leave a relationship if you see it is toxic. Work on yourself and your self worth. Never again am I settling for less and allowing myself to be in a situation that brings the worst out of me.

[kasubakapambwe]

Constantly dwell in the cycle of guilt, shame and regret. Really drains my joy away the way I caused the relationship to end.

[navyaamusic]

Living with a guilt is like living with a ghost that only YOU can see and you are cursed to see it for the rest of your life...its like being with everyone and still seeing that ghost in the corner of that room... you're scared but you cant show it....

[outroseok]

a bad habit I’m doing is putting my ex on this pedestal when in fact he wasn’t always the most perfect man in the relationship... once I stop putting him on a pedestal I’ll be better off.

[nixx]

I’ve was feeling so sick w a knot in my stomach after the breakup. I lost my appetite and didn’t feel like I was doing anything good anymore. I felt like a terrible person. After a month, I️ was starting to tell myself the exact same things you were saying. It’s relieving to know that I’m starting to forgive myself, thank you💕

[Spongeboy]

i was flirting with a guy while having an amazing boyfriend. that’s when i realized it wasn’t the men, it was me. i was in an abusive toxic cheating relationship for 5 years and went into a new one trying my best and realizing that wasn’t enough, i needed to look within myself and figure out why i’m still partaking in the same behaviors as when i was in crisis mode.

[maurodiaz]

It's so hard to overcome guilt, but we always need to remember when a relationship finishes both are guilty.

[luna-mive]

i was toxic, played with her emotions and sent mixed signals. i wish i could go back, not to do it again but to protect her from me and prevent her from experiencing all the pain i put her through.

[ToxicsmilesXD]

I need to forgive myself for not accepting the person he is and not the person I thought he was. Once I was faced with the person he is, unclouded, I hated him. Filled with anger and betrayal and those questions "how could he have done this?" When in reality that's who he always was, I just never accepted it. It's not his fault he's the wrong person.

[brunaguerra]

I broke up with my ex boyfriend because there were too many red flags that I knew would blow up on us eventually and I did that to protect both of us but it still hurts like hell because I know how much he likes me. This is truly awful.
Thank you for this video.

[ElJetzFoo]

Sometimes I guilt myself into thinking my toxic traits are the reason for my breakup. In the beginning, I tried to be the one talking about our issues & disagreements in a healthy mature manner, but all she would do is guilt trip me into bringing it up by playing the victim card & saying “I guess I’m just a piece of s**t GF then”. As time went by, I noticed I started becoming more toxic because I felt unheard & manipulated. We both created a toxic environment by my accumulated stress that I couldn’t talk about our problems in a mature manner. Thank you for this video & I hope for some positive feedback.

[Akayemiix]

I’m so glad that I found this video. I’m not bad. I just simply acted in bad behavior.

[richardstwart]

This video has been most helpful in identifying my behavior as I was mostly the toxic element in my past breakup, a painful but valuable life lesson. You give this advice with empathy and compassion that I haven't heard from other relationship coaches, it made me feel good about myself because im a caring and loving man. Thanks Ashley for your great advice....I will not beat myself up no more....

[maxmtr]

Thank you so much for this video the guilt kills me everyday it’s been 3 years and I think about her everyday… I gave her away because I couldn’t control my drug abuse.. as soon as I got sober, all the emotions hit me like a train realizing what I’ve done and what I have given up

[chloesheler]

Needed this. It’s been a very hard process for me and I’ve felt so guilty but never meant to hurt him.