Dealing with feelings of guilt and shame that come from depression and anxiety

One of the most common questions I hear as a clinical psychologist who specializes in depression in anxiety is “how do I deal with the guilt and the same that I constantly feel?”

It’s a tough question that doesn’t have a single, easy answer.

However, for many of us, much of our guilt and shame comes from distorted, unrealistic thoughts. Our minds only see the mistakes we’ve made, the areas we’ve fallen short, and the regrets from the past that we can’t let go of.

If you can learn to challenge these thoughts and see yourself more accurately, much of the guilt and shame melts away as it no longer has a platform to stand on.

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[jadeybabes]

Since you have recorded this you're followers etc have bounced up - but here's a thought for you to tuck away in your morning routine for yourself. You may not have 1 million followers - but to this itty bitty one follower right here - your videos mean the world to me and are helping me more than any other treatment ever has. I NEVER honestly thought Id find that help in a you tube channel - but I have. Your genuine, practical, calming and honest approach makes a huge difference to my life. I am not just saying this to get a reaction or like or anything like that - I mean this sincerely from the bottom of my heart - thank you so much.

[marlenechicoine]

Someone said, 'We compare our insides to other people's outsides.'

[summerwind]

Chronic parental shaming and belittling toward a child is damaging to that child for life. I have been dealing with it for 68 years . Combine that with living in a domestically violent home as an elder daughter expected to be her mother’s protector and it creates life-long PTSD. I have spent my life trying to overcome this.

[shadesofrecovery]

Dear Scott, thank you so much, from Australia. I'm 25 years old and I've been through so much trauma that I feel like an old man. It's been just over 2 years now living on my own since I escaped nearly dying from domestic violence, homelessness, addiction, poverty, malnutrition, hospital admissions, court dates and arrests that nearly cost me my life, and I've been hurt abused betrayed lost everything I have multiple times. been living the safest healthiest Today, I have a roof over my head, I'm safe, employed, sober, engaging in normal life. The best life I've ever had, except that I'm completely broken inside. Your content is the only thing right now that seems to speak to me in that I finally feel like someone understands just how bad severe depression and anxiety really is at its absolute worst, or what it's like been living with it for over a decade. I have no friends, I don't know how to have fun, I don't laugh, I don't feel like I'll ever be a normal person because of what I've survived and yet I get up and go to work every day and continue this 'normal' life trying to deal with being so damaged from complex trauma and constantly experiencing severe depression and anxiety. You genuine give me hope and make me feel somehow kind of normal, for what I am. You make me feel like there is someone out there who knows how bad it can really get. There is no triumph or breakthrough in this story, in just so incredibly glad that I have you in YouTube algorithm to be there and put words to what it is that I'm experiencing. I wish I had a therapist like you, to trust in and work through my stuff with and I say that having been through the mental health system many times for over half my life. I appreciate you for speaking to me and it gives me comfort in a very lonely place of suffering that I often wonder if I'm destined for for the rest of my life. Please keep making videos and doing what you're doing because it's so comforting to listen to you and just not feel alone in a surface level mental health friendly world where the real deep and the dark depression is both unseen and unheard, taboo and unknown, terrifying to society and therefore never talked about because of how bad it really is and nobody wants to breach the subject. I hope that wasn't too vague and that it makes sense. You give me so much light and encouragement, thank you for helping me get through my life when I literally have nothing and nobody else.

[upgradeyourselfnow]

Dr.Scott, you are saving my life. I have been in a mental prison for 2 years and have been desperately trying to understand why I feel no joy anymore. Your content is better than any book I've read (I haven't read yours yet) and I am so incredibly grateful for you. You are authentic and real and it's like you are inside my brain knowing my thoughts. Please keep shining your light. The world needs your light. Namaste 🙏

[kaceykelly]

Those teachers who ruthlessly criticized us as failures are total failures themselves. Their job is to look for the good and encourage it.

[leeannswift]

Our parents used guilt and shame to control us The same way their parents did to them Thank you for this video!video

[river]

I'm very grateful for your channel. I've followed a lot of other psychologists on this platform, some with tens or hundreds of thousands of subscribers, but none have been as reassuring and convincing as this one. I thought positive manifestations were just a weak online trend, but now I see how it could help... Gonna try out with more conviction now

[illbebcak]

I've tried to listen to other doctors that had hundred thousands, even millions of subscribers - couldn't follow or listen to any (either their diction is not good enough, e. g. too much filler words, too much scientific/medical terms, speaking too quick, long introduction into the subject, or too much ads). There are only few psychologists I've subscribed to and all of them have not really much subscribers, however their content is truly helpful and how they put it out is best. This shows that popularity doesn't matter, quality and sincerity does. We don't have to compare ourselves to others. If we're able to help at least one person with an advice - this is enough. That's why I want to express special gratitude for your channel, because your recommendations help me to fight against my anxiety and stress.

[nonyabidness]

My in person therapist so far appears to be so useless that I'm considering firing her. In the meantime I'm listening to one video of yours a day. I could not do what you do (yet) and I'm SO grateful for your free assistance.

Related, our culture places emphasis on the wrong things for its definition of success. You are FAR more successful in your purpose than many billionaires.

[kewldudexx]

You're a breath of frash air.
Most therapist dont share anything about their personal lives.
I trust your advice because you have lived or gone through what im going through right now. Your wisdom comes from experience not from text a book

[kathyglass]

Dude. It's a matter of time. You've gotten bigger since you recorded this, and you are going to have way more followers. You are amazing and you will be amazing.

[frustraceann]

seeing a professional like you talking about mental health in an empathetic and relatable way, that makes me feel understood and safe hearing it rather than defensive, has been really nice. i've been watching your videos regularly during my shitty depression mood of the last few months, and sometimes the understanding and care i feel from you for your profession and your audience just makes me have a good, cathartic cry. thank you for making content, i hope all my engagement recently does your channel some good.

[tulinbeyduz]

I had this thought the other day .. that maybe what i have is actually good enough . The wanting more or being more really robs us of the now

[Stefnfurryfriends]

You are doing a great job with your videos! Just need to say it! I am suffering since a longer time from depressions and anxieties and my anxieties also keep me away from getting help, as I really struggle to talk to people, doing phonecalls, or any else… if I dont feel I like that person. I tried several times watching youtube videos depending to depression and anxieties, but I cant rememeber I watched any of them to the end. But after I accidentally came along ur account (through the passive suicide ideation video, whats fits me totally, next to many others) I cant stop watching/listening to them. And I am a german living in sweden, so its not even my mother or living language.
You definitely should got much more likes at it! ❤ thank you!

[scottgreer]

I appreciate you. I struggle with BPD and really appreciate that you have gone through the things that you talk about. You talk about topics that resonate with us and no one else talks about. Listening to you is like listening to a good friend who has been there and wants to help me out. It's like we're talking be the fireplace talking after the kids have gone to bed. You touch people and make a huge difference in lives. You might not be big time, but you have quality that makes struggling people feel like they have a friend. A lot of what you say is hard and goes on the back burner as it works it's way into practical reality.

[autumn_r_t]

I just tried this while watching this video. I am full of grief and crying. I’ve been in therapy for many years and shame and feelings of failure are some of my biggest challenges. Every time I try and make any kind of list or journal entry I feel like I am already failing. One reason I decided to share this comment is because the idea of doing this daily (and especially in the morning) feels so overwhelming and I cannot imagine doing that. It’s frightening. Whenever I strive to start these kind of exercises, I am so afraid of falling apart that it becomes a huge block. Perhaps it’s because I am envision a giant wall that needs to be torn down. All at once. And with it, my ability to get through the day. Have I made progress and had achievements in the last decade? Absolutely. But I do judge myself on my “inability” to tear down this wall. I’m not sure how to end this message so I’ll just say that I appreciate this content and am curious if anyone reading this can relate to this.. shame of shame?

[RichardHernandez-mqkw]

you might not see this but I'm so grateful for this video ♡

[sergiodelgadillo]

I've been in therapy for the last few years for anxiety and depression I had a recent loss and fell into a deep depression a feeling guilt
I have been listening to your broadcasts you have made me a new person you have taught me how to move forward in my life I am in a financial bind but I will soon become a subscriber God bless you you are amazing if you only knew the bad shape I was in after listening to your broadcast I am a totally a different person with a direction thank you thank you thank you

[GA-ifqf]

Again, thank you. Each video of yours to which I listen lifts me a bit further out of the hole I allowed myself (unintentionally) to fall into over many years of listening to others' voices, many from childhood. Do not doubt that you are doing immeasurable good....