How Avoidant Men Communicate Differently

If you want to learn to build a fulfilling lifelong relationship with the man you love and help him understand and cherish you in return, pick up your copy right now.

Understanding Avoidant Men means Knowing The Language of Attachment!
In this insightful video, Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, delves deep into the unique language and communication style of avoidant men in relationships. Drawing from his extensive experience working with avoidantly attached individuals, Adam shares invaluable insights that can revolutionize your understanding of avoidant attachment.

Avoidant men often navigate relationships using a language of risk assessment and logic, which can be vastly different from the emotional language typically used in relationship discussions. Adam provides practical advice on how to communicate effectively with avoidant partners by speaking their language of risk and logic.

By reframing conversations and discussions in terms of measurable variables and clear expectations, Adam demonstrates how you can bridge the communication gap with your avoidant partner. From discussing emotional intimacy to building trust and addressing compatibility, Adam guides viewers through strategies for fostering deeper connections with avoidant men.

Whether you're an anxiously attached partner seeking to understand your avoidant counterpart or an avoidant man looking to decode relationship dynamics, this video offers invaluable insights into the world of avoidant attachment. Join Adam as he unravels the complexities of avoidant communication and unlocks the key to building lasting, fulfilling relationships.

The HOW TO LOVE AN AVOIDANT MAN video course is now available!

Join The Mentorship Program:

If you enjoyed this video and want more content like this, do me a favor: be sure to hit that like button, leave a comment, and don't forget to subscribe to the channel!

Share it with your friends, and hit that notification bell so you never miss an update. 🛎️ Let's grow this amazing community together! 🚀

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

The 4 Attachment Styles Guide - Free! 📥

If you’ve struggled in dating or marriage and worry you’re not good enough, worry no more. The Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith wrote this guide to show you how to stop fearing abandonment and start building healthy relationships. Through his proven step-by-step method for repairing attachment, Adam will teach you what people really want from you, how to give and receive love without fear, what red flags to avoid, and how you can build a lifetime love with a partner you trust.

Slaying Your Fear - A Book For People Who Grapple With Insecurity

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Chapters:
00:00:00 - The Language of Avoidant Men
00:02:03 - Avoidant men and risk-taking
00:04:12 - Understanding Avoidant Attachment for Avoidant Men
00:06:10 - Managing Risk in Relationships with Avoidant Men
00:08:14 - The Power of Avoidant Language
00:10:22 - Communicating with Avoidantly Attached Men
00:12:17 - The Power of Business Language
00:14:14 - Communicating with an Avoidant Attachment Style
00:16:09 - Building a Relationship with Avoidant Men
00:18:14 - Understanding Avoidant Attachment Style in Relationships

[AttachmentAdam]

The HOW TO LOVE AN AVOIDANT MAN video course is now available!

If you want to learn to build a fulfilling lifelong relationship with the man you love, and help him understand and cherish you in return, pick up your copy right now and write a happy ending to your love story!

[Im____ltm]

I'm so stupid. I bombarded him with the L word a bunch of times last week and now he won't even respond to me. I told him I didn't expect him to say it back but I couldn't bear to hold in my feelings any longer. Loving an avoidant is so complicated and exhausting.

[nevadaminer]

You’re the first human I’ve ever heard speak my language. I didn’t even understand myself.

[tooblessedtobestressed]

This man's videos has saved my marriage. I am the avoidant one . Deeply religious over achiever woman . My husband finally has the wife and marriage he wants.

[dawnclark]

I track risk too… and tolerating a grown man that can’t have a simple conversation without running away.. is a Huge Risk

[thesoundroom]

This is soooo accurate, wow. A year and two months into my relationship with my avoidant and he has gone from stonewalling me on any conversation that had any kind of emotion attached to it, to now speaking my language, and it took me to do what youre explaining in this video, treat our relationship like a business, tell him my needs clearly succinctly without being emotional, showing him i'm not a risk that Im not gonna quit on us when we have issues, and he started putting his defenses down and he also started making a very deliberate effort to meet my needs. Thankyou for your channel, the knowledge and info you share is gold!

[Benita]

Having deep feelings for an avoidant guy has wrecked me completely. If I even sense a guy is avoidant I’m out.

[lilove]

This is a literal example of the phrase “good relationships require work” 😃

[ladakollmann]

The whole problem is that avoidants see relationships from the wrong point of view. I'm also avoidant, but I've come to see relationships as a great source of self-awareness, self-improvement, and self-healing, and with this approach, I can take any risk in relationships and not lose. It is not possible to lose even if the relationship ends badly, because even the bad relationship gives me a lot, but only because I am able to accept it and use it for my growth in right way. I think it's incredibly important to teach this other avoidants - to change their perspective and approach to relationships.

[c.j.erickson]

I think it's good to see both sides of the coin, I also want to say to the ladies, if he walks away, LET HIM. MOVE ON. Don't look back and know that he will regret losing a high value woman who knows her worth.

[judydurham]

I studied attachment theory last year through a school all summer and fall and NEVER learned what I have here In just a couple videos...Just WOW! I cried (anxious attacher) after another video you did and now am holding so much compassion towards my husband...game changer after 41 years of feeling so unloved, unheard, and unknown. I have real hope now..ty ty ty

[humorinheels]

I’m an avoidant woman…and this video and language makes 10000% sense to me.

Totally resonates and is super helpful for explaining to my partner what I need and how I view love and risk. 🙌🏻🙌🏻

[Elizabethmoonlightchild]

I'm dating an avoidant man. I've watched so many of your videos! I've really enjoyed them.
But I'm at the point where this seems like a lot of work with very low "get back" so to speak! Where we need to have patience, and being put in a position where we are in a off set way "fixing" a grown man, what woman wants to put in all that work without knowing for sure things will change? Yep, good question, because you can't answer that!
It's draining, it's setting aside our boundaries & wants and putting his first or HE WILL RUN.
If you have any insight or tips, I'm all ears! Besides constantly doing what he wants or

[peachwedding]

Comparing my experiences with avoidant and secure partners, I can confidently say that being with a secure man is like night and day. No more walking on eggshells – it's simple, easy, and feels amazing to receive the affection and reassurance you deserve. Avoidant men need to prioritize self-improvement instead of relying on others to cater to their emotional needs. It's time we collectively stop enabling this behavior and encourage them to address their attachment issues. Let's empower ourselves and encourage healthier relationships for everyone involved by moving on from avoidant men that won't work on healing themselves.

[sadiqua]

Not for nothing, as a FA leaning secure, imo, the biggest risk of life is being vulnerable with other people. Why is it that this isn’t the perspective of avoidant men? Being risk adept in business is measurable by profit and loss yes, but really risk adeptness in love is measurable by family, peace, partnership no? Regardless of attachment if you’ve been hurt by a parent, or former love of course you’ll be more cautious, but inflicting that pain on someone YOU engaged to get to know and be with by discarding them and not communicating with them is cruel and will keep you from the love you initially claimed to want. Make it make sense please because I’m a very concrete person and do not like reading into intention. You like me?, show it. You don’t?, say it and leave me alone. Period.

[janski]

Mind…blown! If I had this vocabulary in my toolkit years ago it might have saved my first marriage (to an avoidant project manager). In any case, it will help me in future and I’m grateful to have found your channel!

[maryammajdiyazdi]

But if he feels emotional when he feels attached that’s a problem because it increases his risk and fear. So it is deep rooted patterns that needs attention beside communication. It is in their subconscious. So it is great way of addressing it but still needs some inner work and constant awareness.

[effortlesssuccess]

I’m going to add some insights for you and your audience.

One of the definition of “risk” is: possibility of loss or injury.

The only way for a person to see everything as a “risk” is because they operate out of FEAR. When you operate with a fear-based consciousness, EVERYTHING is a RISK. People who do not operate out of fear, do not see everything as a risk, but rather an OPPORTUNITY. That’s the difference.

Furthermore, the reason why avoidant men very successful in business but fail in relationships because in businesses there is no need to deal with feelings and emotions. It’s all logical. Avoidant people live more in their head and ego. And they are weaker in processing emotions and feelings. They don’t do well with their emotions and feelings.

They can’t manage their own feelings and emotions, never mind their partners. This is why they avoid it.

Couple with the fact that their emotional intelligence is lower (not saying as a judgment; but as a fact.) These types of people are emotionally stunted.

That is why when you speak their language, it has to be all logical with little to no emotions and feelings.

These types of people need a lot of healing so they are more balanced with their mind and heart. They operate too much with their mind and little or zero with their emotions and feelings.

Good decisions are always balanced with both heart and mind.

And when it comes to seeing the world, it also needs to be viewed with heart and mind, not just with the mind. It is an inaccurate perspective.

[GodHelpMe]

He is into you if he's CONSISTENT.

No mixed signals.

Keep your spirit of discernment sharp, ladies!

[attachmentcoach]

I’m a woman in process of healing my disorganized attachment style and this makes sense to me where I’ve been feeling it’s high risk to express my needs and emotions to an avoidant man because it feels like he will shut down and leave if I do. So I’ve not been investing in avoidant men who haven’t started investing into their emotional literacy on their own.

Interesting concept to speak in terms of risk analysis!