The Female Covert Narcissist's Most Powerful Manipulation Tactic

Do you suspect your wife or girlfriend is a covert narcissist? Did she start out charming and caring but now she behaves in highly narcissistic ways? Is she irritable, anxious, annoyed, selfish, and self-centred? Does she disrespect you while simultaneously accusing you of not respecting her? Does she triangulate your friends, family members, maybe even your children into her victim narrative? In this video, I am talking about the primary manipulation tactic of the female covert narcissist.

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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Author, and Life Coach with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on YouTube are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach without revealing confidential information.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your emergency services.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.

Video Chapters
Introduction (0:00)
Damsel in Distress (1:34)
Victimhood is a Defence Mechanism (3:37)
Defend Their False Identity (4:57)
How to Respond (6:38)
DARVO: An Example (8:00)

#NPD #covertnarcissist #narcissist #narcissism #npd #narcissistic #femalenarcissist

[plenaryverbalist]

They only want three things:
1. The authority of a man
2. The privilege of being a woman.
3. The accountability of a two year old.

[winkwinkboe]

Actually happy I got played by a covert narcissist it made me mentally tougher I got my masculinity back now I don't take s*** from any woman or man.

[EnFyr]

I lived with one for 15 years. Now I'm at a clinic trying to figure out who i am again.. just run guys. I'm serious.

[OutlawJoseyWales]

The narcissist that nearly destroyed me was a person that had a child-like inability to connect actions with their consequences. I pity her so much, but I can't change it

[Green_]

My covert ex discarded me for a married man who is 20 years older than her. She ended up telling people she feared for her life being around me. I swear on my life I never did anything to her. Knowing people believe her and the way she has treated me has been one of the hardest things I’ve gone through psychologically. I wish I never met her. I helped her get over alcoholism and drugs. I got her into fitness. Before she discarded me she said “I realized I don’t “need” you anymore.” I was just a need at a moment in time. 5 years wasted. I want to get over this but I don’t know how.

[plenaryverbalist]

When you meet a damsel in distress, calling to you from the tower LEAVE HER ASS THERE. It’s just a matter of time until she decides you’re the dragon.

[ordinaryguy]

Never try to heal any woman, she is either broken for life or she plays you into her cage.

[calvin-coohey]

(22 red flags) RUN
1. Malignant envy, jealous and needy.
2. Overly concerned about her looks.
3. Rude and has no manners.
4. Plays games, Gaslights
5. Frequently bored. Doesn't like to be interested in anything, no hobbies
6. Has difficulty managing her emotions, volatile especially in public, temper tantrums
7. Constantly seeks attention and approval
8. Lazy
9. Overly controlling
10. Has daddy issues, a bad reputation with past relationships ie: sex bombs, devalues, discards
11. Never has anything nice to say about other women or your friends
12. Doesn’t have a plan for her life, or wandering through life
13. Low self esteem
14. Harboring hate, hateful toward others
15. Self-centered, stingy
16. Brags incessantly
17. Has no respect for her man
18. Falsely accuses
19. Demanding
20. Untrustworthy
21. Lacking empathy, cold hearted,
22. No morals
BONUS: Substance abuse issues.

[BuckleyThompson]

Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there.

They will promise to do it, but never follow through.
If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction.

An argument will ensue
The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character.
The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved.
At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction

They give you what you asked for, BUT

[mukesh.dhimar]

The "Damsel in distress" one... I was stupid enough to think I would be her saviour. She even said I was. I was her "hero". And eventually she accused me of being just like her exes even though apparently all her exes cheated on her and were horrible to her and I NEVER cheated on her nor was horrible. On my 43 page letter that I wrote to her, I explained this. I told her that I didn't believe everything she said about her exes were true and that there is a common denominator in all her failed relationships. And that was actually her.

One night, I was literally praying to God even though I'm a non believer...I was praying she would understand what she was doing and the next morning she even admitted that she needed help. It was unreal. She never did get any though.

She never asked anything about me. How I was doing. How my day was etc.

Everything was about her which I didn't mind at first. But whilst being abused and everything was STILL about her... every time she humiliated me, traumatised me, everything... nothing was ever her fault. According to her that is.

She's a Demon.

[Dansyoung]

Looking back I found that I have a desire to help people. For me turning someone’s life around when they are down is appealing. I learned the hard way the damsel in distress is bait for a sucker to come along and play this role. Unfortunately it makes me reluctant to help people in the future and always question their true intentions.

[allzeenamesaretaken]

I can’t tell you how validating your videos are to a man who thought he was going crazy. My ex was a female covert narcissist to a T and I appreciate your videos so so much. They have helped me more than you know.

[cp]

It is a power move to make you feel guilt and shame

[JohnSmith-wons]

She would go shopping rather than pay her rent, grew massive arrears and eventually evicted. But to her the landlord was unreasonable and picking on her. Completely delusional.

[PulseCodeModulate]

Well spoken Lise. I spent 35 years with my covert wife. She finally moved out Oct. 12th 2022 and I have finally found my PEACE. Jeffrey Z. in SC.

[TJKashatus]

You must have met my ex girlfriend....the hell that I went thru the past 2+ years is unbelievable....I feel like I should go on tour and tell my story to others to make them aware....a skilled manipulator, a toxic female covert narcissist...pure evil and sadistic....preyed on my heart and emotions. I will never, ever trust a female again. Thought I was happy and gonna get married with my soul mate. Turned out to be a deeply disturbed individual. The manipulation, blame shifting and gaslighting were killing me. 100% spot on Lise, thank you.

[brandonreccejitsninja]

You know it's ironic, I met my current wife in 2020 though her being part of a relationship with her "crazy" ex. Then I am Narc informed and what I consider to be an advocate for this information. Still I end up with a Covert and now I find myself in the show once more. I decided this week I am leaving. It will be bad but staying I think will be worse in the end. Thank you for your insight it is very on the mark and helpful. God Bless.

[bongodrummer]

All her friends thought she was heaven me devil

[ct]

There are few things in life that are this clear cut. A narc is a permanently wounded wild animal. There's no fixing it. If you have it in your head that you're going to find coping mechanisms to deal with having one of these in your life, you have no idea what you're dealing with or what they're capable of doing. This person is already gone. The only winning move is to not play this game at all. Literally move to another city if that's what it takes. No contact, ever again.

[Bat_Boy]

I was mentally exhausted, after years of monolog of how the world has failed her. I was simply tired. Done. Spent. No more hours and hours of empathy and validation, as it was never going to be enough.