DETACH YOURSELF FROM YOUR ADULT CHILD'S STRUGGLES (4 TRUTHS)

DETACH YOURSELF FROM YOUR ADULT CHILD'S STRUGGLES (4 TRUTHS)// In this video, I talk about how to detach yourself from your adult child's struggles, and 4 truths of how you can take those steps toward detaching yourself.

0:00 – Introduction
0:33 – Examine your personal situation
2:54 – 1) You can’t control other people (including our kids)
3:05 – 2) You can’t rely on your kids for your happiness
3:21 – 3) Your empty feelings are yours to fill up, not your child’s
4:04 – 4) Love and accept them, and accept people change
4:47 – At the end of the day...
5:26 – How I can help

You are not alone on this journey. Even when you feel most lost, there’s always a way to find hope again.

Faith over fear, my friends.
As always, Sally Harris—Moms of Defiant Adult Kids Expert

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[sallyharriscoach]

When you are ready to learn more about 1:1 and group coaching; reach out to me here for a 30 minute consultation! (Not a coaching call)

[Beencouraged]

I’ve done all I can do . I’ve gotten to the point where I could care less, literally, and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it. My peace is of the utmost importance to me. I’m done being used.

[margaretbradley]

These children can put you on this life depleting roller coaster.
It is my experience that one should not allow it.
They know they have us by the heartstrings and have the power to treat us poorly, take more emotionally than they give, ghost us, give us silent treatments, not show up when planned etc.
It is super important to operate with dignity and self respect in these situations.
We would not tolerate this kind of shoddy, inconsiderate treatment from anyone else in our lives.
Every mother desperately wants that loving relationship with their children.
However, if you see you are not being valued and respected, you give way more than you receive, you must take a stand.
Every human deserves to be treated with kindness, love + respect.
Don't allow anyone, even your children, to breadcrumb you.
Cause you to question your worth and value and that heart full of love.
If the dynamics are off, you owe it to yourself to take your love and power back.
Otherwise you will be depleted + destabilized.

[MontalitaRed]

Omg girl you preached to me today. I have 3 adult children who I am not on speaking terms. My husband stay telling I did nothing wrong they are just entitled. I have picked apart our relationship dissecting year after year trying to figure out what happened.
There were no abuse, no drugs no nothing and it makes me mad they did me like this. The oldest girl is the ring leader. She always hated me and I thought it was some teenage stuff she would grow out of. She is 34 now and is a horrible daughter to me. I’m sad I don’t have my kids in my life but the peace makes it worth it.

[allcoolnamestaken]

True. It'll break your heart to let them go but at the same time you understand that you have to get off of that unhealthy life sucking rollercoaster that you've been on with them.

[loragray]

Just found you this week! Wow so much I could say. I have one child, a son 27. I feel so blessed to have found you and realize I'm not alone. There are so many moms and dads hurting and struggling down a road we did not expect to be on. Thank you for your help.

[adrianwalsh]

I understand this is directed to Moms, but I must say, I appreciate everything you say. I am a 59-year-old father, and my daughter is 32 I have provided a financial cushion for her over and over. She could be in some serious situation at this time. I know I have been codependent with her, thinking that she would grow more. And nothing has brought me so much sorrow and pain. I know so much of this is my stuff.

[cc]

This is truth that I needed to hear. It’s 3 a.m. and I’m losing sleep again rehashing conversations with my 3 children who have very little contact with my husband and me. I’m so broken hearted but there is nothing I 0:11 can do and I need to just let go, and let God.

[ToFightTheGoodFight]

A dad here✋️I've done all you have said. I moved on & no pity party whatsoever. God bless everyone

[Sandra-koc]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. My son is 28 and is totally reliant on me financially. He doesn’t work, hes not in a good place mentally, he hasnt been for quite a while. The pressure is getting to me...if i didn't have God to lean on..i don't know where i would be..

[Gracie]

You're so right on all of this. It's so hard. I have 1 estranged adult son and 1 adult daughter that is always there for me and I for her and the grandkids. But at 41 yrs old she has been through alot of trauma and I've been the only one there for her. She at times makes scary decisions and it scares me so much that now I have anxiety every day ..all day. I've been praying and trying to let it all go and put it in God's hands but I still have the anxiety. I'm 67 yrs old and tired of the stress and anxiety. Please pray for me.

[lisabrown]

Thank you!! It nearly killed me, literally. Thank you for the understanding and encouragement ❤

[natsdaley]

Needed this ❤ I have a 28 year old daughter living at home. Was a single parent for years and now I feel I have no purpose at I got divorced 5 years ago trying to navigate this season. Thank you for this x

[rubenslawnservice]

I really don’t know how to let go ! I’m so busy doring the day! But at night I keep having terrible dreams! That keeps me awake! I don’t know how to stop worrying

[KarenMacDonald-og]

I am going through this currently. My 35 year old son has abused me verbally emotionally financially and recently physically because I won’t help him financially anymore. He blames me for all his faults and failures and because I am widowed and have some trauma from my own dysfunctional siblings I feel it must be me but I know it isn’t. I have done my best and supported him in every way but he is not progressing. It hurts so bad he is my only child. Recently he tried to take my grandchildren from me thankfully his ex is allowing me access to the grand babies. Recently he started telling the grandchildren lies about me. I am mad now no longer sad and I am happy with myself now.

[mercedescue]

My son has not been in touch with me for 7 years and did not invite me to his wedding which is today
He invited my brother who has spread awful things about me and even stole my money. I feel awful, sick, guilty, disgusted. I know I cant change it but I feel betrayed, stepped on and I cannot find any peace

[methoticaarts]

This made me bawl. My daughter lives with me she’s not launching . She just doesn’t really do anything with herself except socialize and smoke pot

[codzy]

sweetie im 60 a woman and my 2 adult kids never liked me they love their dad whom walked out on them when they were little and as a mum i tried my best with both of them and now their both 38 an 43 i have no closeness to them ive reached out so much to them and dont get nothing in return im not allowed to babysit the grandkids i dont know what ive done to them so as of april this yr 2023 ive broke from both of them and ive been questioning myself too like do i like my kids nope i dont sorry might be surprising to other mums but ive tried for soooo long with both of them i give up i just pray ask God to intervene i dont know i leave it in his hands i cant do no more God bless parents an ppl that are being abused used for no reason God loves us an cares for us if nobody else does amen keep the faith ppls 😌💔🙏👵

[yajairatorres]

I feel SOOO SEEN!!! My son (23) has been struggling with mental illness since he was a child. Now, he's had a psychotic break, and I'm his target and his trigger, and yet he will not let me just be. It's a lot to get into, but my guilt wouldn't let me detatch from him. He refuses to get help, and I don't feel safe until he does. I needed this today, thank you.

[patriciajordan]

I really needed this tonight. Thank you for your videos. I just found you a week ago and I’m very grateful. Keep up the positive messages. We parents need to be reminded that we weren’t bad....just human. Making mistakes along the way. 💜😞