4 Ways to Heal From Your Past (Traumatic Memories Part 2)

Here’s the thing about trauma: even though the event happened in the past, we work with trauma in the present moment. It causes pain in the present moment, it changes your nervous system in the present moment. The hurt isn’t just “in the past” it’s right here, in your body and emotions right now. In the last video we talked about 4 ways traumatic memories differ from regular memories. In this video we’ll cover 4 ways you can work with those memories in the present moment so they don’t bother you so much.

When traumatic memories are integrated and consolidated, real healing can happen. This might look like someone being able to say “This terrible thing happened, but right now, I am safe”. And when they remember the event, they can calm their mind and body in the present moment. The memory becomes a memory instead of a flashback where they re-experience a terrible event as if it’s happening again.
As we talked about in the last video traumatic memories differ from regular memories in 4 ways:
They don’t naturally soften over time, they stay intense and vivid
Traumatic memories are often sensory- it FEELS like the event in sights, sounds, smells.
The passage of time is distorted-it feels like you’re living it over again in the present
They are often fragmented, they don’t follow a sequential order, some information may be missing or blocked

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[pardisarjmandi]

What hurts me most about my past trauma is how I’m scared that people find out I have these issues or triggers and look down on me so I never share with anyone

[Fitnesswithyazz]

There’s so much shame and guilt I have holding on . So much hurt from others in my young teenage years, physical and emotional abusive bf at age 14 . Rape at 14 . So much hit at a young age . So now I’m so emotionally damaged and sensitive, insecure and just not the same . It’s like I was sucked away .

[ivankovwink]

I just spent the last night crying over some traumatic events in my past and couldn't sleep until 6 am no matter how much I tossed and turned on the bed. Glad that this video showed up in my recs :)

[jmzaid]

I thought I was over those traumas but as I revisit the place and meet the old people, the fear, shame and pain are still there as they stare at me with disapproval. That is why I thought I need videos like this right now. Thanks so much!

[saracrum]

I struggle with healing from my past as a drug addict. The things I did the people I was with the situations I put myself in… they weren’t me. When I have flashbacks I instantly pray Jesus will forgive me and it helps. But wow therapy is amazing. Thank you for this video

[sadistickitten]

I've been writing a blog about my traumatic experiences as a kid. It's been very therapeutic for me. No one actually reads it but getting my story out there into works has helped me to get over those bad memories & move on from it.

[deborahjohnston]

You are so intelligent and amazing with the help you give. I gain something with every video I watch. You are very calming and make me feel like there is always hope. Thank you so much for your help and sharing with all of us. Life is so fragile and in this day so stressful. I look forward to listening to your programs. I am 74 and have had bad health and lost my husband 2 years and 4 months ago. There has been so much change in my life and a lot of fear and loneliness. Our house was taken, I have trouble with food. I have 9 children.

[brittneygilchrist]

My partner and I re-write my memories by creating new experiences to replace the trigger so they don’t bother me anymore. I’m fortunate that he has stayed committed to this form of relief-therapy.. he makes the absolute best replacement ones with me!

[MultiSignlanguage]

This is so helpful. So clear and concise. I’m a Christian and have spent my whole life (I’m 52 now) struggling to understand what healing looks like. I don’t feel like the Christian teachings or community have a good understanding of it. It’s mostly denial and repression/suppression, and magical/wishful thinking. I kept praying forgiveness prayers and all kinds of prayers for healing but it never happened. I tried counseling off and on since I was a teen but never could stick with it for long. I feel like I wasted decades of my life struggling and numbing and running and avoiding. But that is what I learned from my parents, so the trauma is being passed from one generation to the next. I’m longing to see this changed. Thanks for sharing these videos that are so helpful 🦋

[GodHelpMe]

I desperately want to die.

I notice, in my life,
all I do is navigate my way through the world...
Doing my best, moment-to-moment,
to endure the least amount of suffering as possible...
And I keep doing that every day, just waiting to die.

There's no joy, no hope, no happiness in my life.
It's just pain and trauma and survival and misery.

I live in poverty. I am ashamed of my life.
I have severe (c)PTSD.
My heart is shattered.

Rage and grief consume every cell of my being.

I pray to heal from,
and be released from,
the prison of:

- poverty
- aches and pains
- an inflexible mind and body
- diabetes
- PTSD flashbacks
- (c)PTSD
- suicidal depression
- homicidal rage
- grief
- guilt
- regret
- loneliness
- heartache/heartbreak
- repression/suppression
- soul rape
- a silenced voice
- a lack of boundaries
- perpetual aloneness
- obesity
- trauma
- obsession/rumination
- the past
- spiritual attacks and curses

I MUST DO MY BEST TO REMEMBER:

When I am feeling/being victimized,
I am over-valuating what I don't have,
and under-valuating what I do have! 😊

[LisaMaryification]

When I was younger, before I understood anything about psychology and trauma, I would avoid places or things I now realise were associated with painful events. Just lately, I'm examining my dislike for certain things. Many are associated with events way back in early childhood. Thinking about the connection helps me heal and it doesn't seem so frightening.

[andreabelen.]

It’s been exactly a year since my first ever manic episode that lasted two months (I live with Bipolar I) and I was told that I had PTSD. After that I started to be afraid of literally everything. I used to get stressed about every little thing and think that I wouldn’t find a way out. I couldn’t stop thinking of the mess that I had gone through (even though I didn’t feel like that during the episode), and being harsh to myself for my past actions, without realizing that it was just me experiencing symptoms.
Now I go to therapy once a week, and to the psychiatrist once a month. My weekly activities include painting, baking, playing the drums and going to college (with less subjects).
Little by little, I’m getting better and fighting my anxiety and my intrusive thoughts and memories.

[shy_donut]

I needed this rn. Last night my school club announced a student had died. I didn’t know them at all or what the person even looked like because I was new. There was 10+ people crying at the same time and one girl was violently sobbing. It was all too much and triggered feelings from when my uncle died in a car crash from a drunk driver in the 6th grade. It’s like all those feelings came back up as if it happened yesterday and I felt everything. The setting was the exact same. A bunch of family crying hard at the same time at the scene. I couldn’t help it and had to go in the hallway to sob with the other students. I felt like an awful person because the other students were crying over someone they knew but I was breaking down because of flashbacks I couldn’t help. It doesn’t help that within the last few years there’s been a lot deaths in my family too. All those feelings just came back full force.

[alpacino]

I have so many traumas and I don't have money to go to therapy
I will try do it my own 😊

[SimeonKirilovX]

EMDR helped me go through my traumas and healed PTSD. I recommend it alongside schema therapy

[vulnikkura]

You are so wonderful! I've been in therapy for 2 years now and your videos are such a nice "addition" to my talk therapy. Thank you so much! ❤

[elyaequestus]

Thank you very much for the work!

I am really happy to discover that I am already doing these things under professional supervision and especially the somatic work has made a massive difference for me. These days I feel more relaxed and openminded which helped improve my relationships.

Getting the word out there and especially learning to pace when processing trauma is just so, so important. Thank you!

[antoninat]

After going through a traumatic experience at past workplace, I now feel anxious ALL THE TIME. I hate it so much. I used to be so calm and confident in public, but everywhere I go now I feel like everyone’s watching me and judging me. Even though I’ve left my workplace, it’s like I’m re-living all the things that happened at work. Trauma is so scary! I’ve never felt this way before EVER and my mental health is so up and down :(

[victoriarector]

this was such a helpful video, i didn’t really understand what ‘processing’ ever meant. but now i see that it’s your brains ability to store once traumatic memories in a more comfortable way. thank you so much

[upstatenewyork]

Saying to turn to friends and family suggests that all friends are prepared to walk through the traumatic memory with you or that all family members are. Just because someone can be labeled a friend or family member, it does not mean those titles ensure that the person is capable of soothing you as you struggle with a memory. What makes a friend or family member any more “qualified” to see you through…and I mean really see you through a traumatic memory? Quite often friends and family are the source of our trauma. Instead of using the words friends and family to help you cope with traumatic memories, I would prefer you say to turn to people you can trust. Just like that. You see, not all friends can be trusted and not all family members can be trusted.