Staying In Your Marriage 'For The Kids'? Watch This | Mel Robbis

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Should you stay in your marriage for your kids? Absolutely not. I tell you why in this video.

If you’ve already done all that you can do— you’ve gone to therapy or counseling, and you’ve tried to work out your issues— but you know you are miserable and unfulfilled…do not stay.

Instead of staying together for the kids, you need to shift your #mindset and make your kids the REASON you end the marriage. It’s important for kids to see their parents as happy individuals, able to deal with something scary, and make a big change for a better future.

Will it feel horrible and extremely hard to tell them? Of course. But staying in a marriage where there conflict, disinterest, and disengagement has long term affects on your kids.

And listen, the decision to end a marriage is a huge and PERSONAL one. It might not be safe for you to leave. So as with all other advice that you get on the internet, make sure it’s something that works for you ❤️

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[xmaddmarsx]

To avoid problems in marriage, never get married...

[ahmedabdelmagid]

It is a nightmare honestly to live as a roommate with someone is called a spouse.

[laquintonpiggee]

I’m dealing with this now. Our problem is we don’t wanna admit it! We care about each other we’re just not compatible at well..

[surlespasdondine]

As a teenager I was sooo relieved when my parents split. We all knew they didn't get along, so why force it? Finally the air was clear and everyone could move on. I wanted each of them to be happy not together at all cost.

[nicholusbaker]

I say stay together for your kids because as a father myself I know damn well that I am their best option for protection and love. No other man would ever be worthy of my two sons. I will never ever allow my sons lives to be in the hands of any man other than myself.

[unleashingpotential-psycho]

I think that marriages that don’t work out should not stay just for the kids. I think living a lie could possibly be more damaging to the kids.

[frankietjspecial]

Well said! I was married and divorced after 5 years with two children. I think there is an enormous benefit to getting divorced when your children are very young. There is nothing worse then exposing them to a toxic marriage. I don’t know how people can stay in a bad marriage for a single month, let alone a decade!

[chadmartz]

Maybe it’s because we like to see our kids every single day and not just part time

[thefitgamerdad]

All these comments are making me feel better. I just filed and have 2 toddlers (2 & 3). I really didn't want to end our marriage, but I found it to be toxic sometimes as the level of disrespect for each other would grow in every argument. I love my wife, but I don't want our children to see us like this. We've had a lot of the same issues for years now, and Im just feeling burnt out. I pray anyone else going through this finds peace.

[cocoalaux]

It’s even harder when you know that your partner will no longer be in your children’s life if you separate….. it feels like it’s your fault that your kids will have no relationship with their father because you wanted a divorce.

[natashakerst]

What if divorce will mean the kids will live in poverty and be with one parent half the time who is completely irresponsible (he's diagnosed bipolar and refuses meds). I would leave if I could afford to and he was a decent parent. For now we are roommates which is the best I can do under the circumstances. At least with me there all the time there's an adult to turn off the oven, lock the doors, bathe the kids, help them with their homework, and pay the bills. I know it's not optimal but optimal (two parents who love each other) isn't an option that I have anymore. I have two bad choices and have to take the lesser of the two evils.

[mansajoka]

Living a lie in front of my children I will not do it for another 9 years

[zamith]

I remember wishing my parents would get divorced when I was younger. It was awful knowing that they were only staying together because of me. They would scream at night in the living room thinking I was asleep, but I was sitting on the stairs listening to them night after night

[seanautry]

She lost me at “using your kids to avoid a difficult conversation.” I’m sure that happens, but I just found out my wife had slept with my step brother for 2 years. And I look at those little faces and can’t imagine making a decision that could negatively impact their shot at having the best life the possible. I’d venture to guess when most people want to stay “for the kids” it’s because of a genuine concern for their development, and the need (as a parent) to make decisions for them before yourself.

[nicoleadiaz]

They also dones studies on how old the kids are and how it severely traumatizes them all depending on what age and gender. I’m sorry, but have you ever been divorced? With children? I don’t think so.

[kama]

My friend told me that for her the day her parents divorced was one od the best days in her life. At last she could see her mother happy and feel good and safe at home. She hated the time when her parents were together as she saw and felt that they were unhappy.
Staying together because of kids is hurting them - you show and teach them that it is ok to stay in a relationship in which you feel terrible and no matter what you should continue it. That is worse than a divorce.

[saturdaysbomber]

We split up yesterday. Kids decided to stay with me. She already had somebody else. I will put my kids in first place and give them best I can. I can tell I felt shit couldn't sleep all night, but now I feel bit relaxed and I'm pretty sure it will get better.

[VeganGroceryLife]

When I was about ten years old, I started to pray for my parents to get a divorce. My parents fought all the time and it was horrible. I wished they would have divorced to make me happy. My parents staying together was the worst and I have a lot of bad memories because of it. I have issues I still have to deal with because of this. Hearing “staying for the kids makes me sick”.

On the bright side, my dad did move out years later and because he moved, my parents became friends. And they ended up getting along as friends living apart. And now, my dad passed away last year, by my mom talks about him as how good friends they were. So, good things can come from horrible situations!!

[mindibear]

You’re assuming parents will be happy if/when they get divorced. My parents were miserable, unhappy people, period. Didn’t matter if they stayed married or got divorced. Thankfully they remained married because if I got shuffled between two households every weekend I’m the one that would have ended up miserable.

[PacificMoceans]

This was the worse reason for my parents to have stayed together. It made everything disastrous between me, my siblings and the entire family dynamic. Years later we kids were taken under custody ward of the court, became foster children and resented the hell out of our parents. We are all adults now, never speaking to our father and bonding pretty closely with our mother. I believe we all would've been healthier and happier with our parents divorced and being mature enough to work out differences for our sake. I begged my mom to divorce my dad at 11 years old. Welp.