How understanding divorce can help your marriage | Jeannie Suk Gersen

To understand what makes marriages work, we need to talk about why they sometimes end, says family law professor Jeannie Suk Gersen. Follow along as she lays out three ways that thinking about marital decisions through the lens of divorce can help you better navigate togetherness from the beginning.

[LilyOlivia-ps]

Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of her. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.

[jlyo]

I’m a child from a broken home. Most marriages in my family have been unsuccessful. They either got divorced or fell out of love and became mere cohabitants for tradition’s sake. As bad as this may sound, I think it has helped me to do better. I have seen what works and what doesn’t. The most successful marriages are the partnerships where each give and take and work together. The ones that haven’t worked are where one or both feel like they’re working harder than the other.

[willasd]

I'm glad I didn't get married to the person I dated for 5 years. 2 years of reflecting later I realize tons of things about myself and my ex that I could never have realized during.
Love is quite blind indeed.

[andreita_pereira]

She’s basically saying that marriage doesn’t just “happen” and things just “work out.” She’s saying that people have to be mindful, honest, and upfront about the they are making. Communication is everything. The way you plan and prepare for “worst case scenarios” for like finances or losing a job, you gotta talk about and plan for the end of a relationship and in this way you avoid it happening. Relationships are extremely intentional

[colunizator]

So talking about divorce before marriage, counter intuitively strengthens the marriage

[tawheedmohammadsayyid]

I literally had listened and re-listened to this video endless number of times in order to understand further. This is not to complaint. But to compliment that you have shared with us a wisdom

[secretsbox]

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

[MONi_LALA]

My mom said "When there's more me than we, the marriage is over."

[rachelvensand]

“Sometimes the things we do out of love can be the very things that make it hard for that love to last” that part.

[waggoneer]

My wife waited until our new home was built, and we had sunk 350k in cash into it (from a previous home sale) to tell me she was unhappy and wanted a divorce... and that she wanted to keep the house. I went into the build thinking, this is great, this will be our forever home. If I had thought defensively we would be renting instead.

[SmartLazyMillionaire]

Thank you for sharing this with us. I wholeheartedly agreed with you. As a divorce coach I've seen so many things that don't work in relationships/marriages and most failed ones typically follow certain patterns. It's crucial to spot these common pitfalls early on as the survival the relationship depends on it.

[TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

Divorces should serve as the best examples of the saying "learning from your mistakes"

[mirtagpa]

Marriage is a partnership. This is a great talk thanks 👍🏽

[vincentliaison]

This is so true. Especially, " sacrifice should be a fair exchange".

[marwamirgani]

*There’s no such thing as a free child care*
That stuck with me

[talbenavraham]

Understanding narcissistic personality disorder would prevent bad marriages and reduce the inevitable divorces.

[cyndihunter]

💖💖💖 Please watch if considering marriage... Going through a divorce and this info would have been so useful before we got married. Thank you!! 🌜Blessings to all!🌛

[calvinrogers]

Moral of the story : *Pre plan Divorce before Marriage*

[Amor_Fati_]

Your life partner is everything! DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT!

[somerandomperson]

It’s like what I remember from adventure time:
“Responsibility demands sacrifice.” -P.B.