Should You Leave Your Marriage? 7 Things To Consider Before You Separate

You're contemplating separating from your spouse. May I give you some things to consider before you decide?

Whatever the situation might be, you'll almost immediately feel some relief when the other person leaves or you leave. However, several research projects have indicated that people who do not argue or who don't face the conflict are people who will, in all likelihood, divorce each other. And so, while you might get some degree of peace, you decrease the possibility of putting the marriage back together.

Are you going to do it because you think somehow it lets the other person down easier? If you do that, you're just elongating the pain for your spouse and you because they'll still have some hope, thinking we'll figure this reconciliation out, or we'll put it back together. And if that's not your intent, may I suggest that you have the integrity not to see the other person. If your goal is to leave, then make it clear that you're going to leave, not just for separation but also to end the marriage with a divorce.

By being separated, you increase the likelihood that one or both of you might be involved with someone else. We hear it all the time at Marriage Helper. You've escaped some of the conflicts, and maybe you're now out kicking up your heels a little bit, and there are always other people in the world.

If you separate, you will increase the likelihood that you're going to divorce. A significant percentage of people who had separated for a while and then got back together, wound up divorced anyway. So rather than running from your problems, if you still think there might be a chance, why not see if you can work through those problems?Get our FREE Mini Course "How To Get Your Spouse Back"

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[lyndarobertson]

I will tell you the ultimate way that you know when it’s time to end your marriage, when you are so unhappy that you feel like taking your own life

[livethatlife]

Never stay in any relationship that don't nuture you or make you feel safe. When a relationship isn't built on a solid foundation it isn't going to last. Never ever stay in a relationship where there is no love or respect.

[daisyjimenez]

What if my partner doesn’t even think there’s a problem. Doesn’t see there careless behavior as anything to worry about

[TheForeverLoveKD]

DR Joe.. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I dozed off listening to your video. Don't get me wrong. It's a compliment. You have a nice calm voice.

[helenjoanna]

I’m watching this video as i sit here crying realizing my marriage is over.😢

[aeneid]

I just want to get out but don't have enough courage

[annawimpey]

You must learn to resolve conflict or all your relationships will be difficult. There is a movie quote, When people divorce;
" If they would have put as much passion into saving their marriage as they did destroying it, they would still be married".

[m.o.s.h.]

ABUSIVE relationship is a BIG NO NO NO to continue or be together in a lifetime..

[lpsglitterpaws]

I am leaving because my husband has filed for divorce. I don’t want to be with someone who says that he doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to grow old with me

[grtrgoodsimpatico]

I think that it’s hard not to leave when one spouse doesn’t see anything wrong with their behavior. Or they promise to modify their behavior but in the end it’s more of the same. How long should you go feeling like your unloved? How long should you go without companionship? You might be right about all the things you’ve said. But you can’t drive the train from the caboose. And when something has to change you’d be better off changing for something to benefit a little clarity. For you and them. When people separate it may end the marriage that’s for sure. I’d guess a lot of those they realize the only reason they stayed was for that one thing or they were afraid of being alone.

[Sarcasaurus]

We're in couples therapy. I'm exhausted. It's been years of me asking for changes and he finally agreed to therapy when i threatened to leave. That doesn't seem like a great starting point...

[gillianlouw]

My husband always puts his friends first, always going out with them, always delays the time frame when he promised to be home, leaving me at home with the kids, I am done

[mattrocchietti]

My wife said yesterday she got an attorney and she wants a divorce. Love has never been our issue. We fight because we both think we are right. She won’t even talk. I told her I will fight for this marriage all the way to the end.

[incognitoriaanonymousita]

This definitely makes you think twice or even three or four times before seriously getting a divorce or separating.

[DOC-Jake-]

Just another thing to be addressed. Sent it to my wife to help her cause she said she feels 0 over the past few years over which I have been diagnosed & in treatment for severe ptsd from 34 yrs of fire /Ems scenes that I caused me to be in crisis. So this caused her to feel alone. 🙏🏻. Both of us have done this job as well as loosing a child after birth.

[preciouspearl]

Some states require a period of seperation before you can file for divorce. It's state mandating prolonging of pain.

[eileenfuentes]

I just love your voice, it's very comforting Joe. I feel like you're talking to me and my favorite part of these videos that just have you talking, one of my favorite parts is when you finally say "Hi, I'm Dr. Joe Beam." That's when I know some good information is on its way 😊

[carolerbph.d]

Great video info, hope everyone understands how sacred marriage is. Thanks for sharing this amazing topic.!

[lisaotruba]

How do you leave your marriage when you are so attached to each other and yes there is some love still?