3 ways to build a happy marriage and avoid divorce | George Blair-West

Choosing to marry and share your life with someone is one of the most important decisions you can make in life. But with divorce rates approaching fifty percent in some parts of the world, it's clear we could use some help picking a partner. In an actionable, eye-opening talk, psychiatrist George Blair-West shares three keys to preventing divorce -- and spotting potential problems while you're still dating.

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[c.juneau]

If you are new to a marriage, please understand that you will struggle in the beginning. You both need time. Time to just live out issues together and try working them out in different ways. Being new to this, you may not know how he/she will react to certain things.. Please do not give up!

[dqreps]

Me and my wife have been together for 18 years and just got back together three days ago after being separated for 6 months. Divorce was on the docket but we are doing our best to keep this from happening. Things are definitely looking up but it's still very challenging but it seems to get better every day. We have three children, 2 boys with autism (17 & 3) and our baby girl with Down Syndrome. Our daughter with Down Syndrome had two open heart surgeries fairly recently at 5 months old, then a pacemaker installed. She also has Hirschsprung's disease which led to her having a colostomy bag installed at five days old. She has several more surgeries to go. If I can say this to anyone, I would tell you do what you need to do to make it work. Sometimes you need to suck it up. You can't be fickle. Fight for your family. People say you shouldn't stay together for your children, well that's fine. But if you still love each other as well as your children and are split due to circumstances or tragedies that have put you in a state of constant depression, stress, about everything you can imagine in this situation like this, then you must come together and not give up. You must keep moving forward and keep on fighting. Many other people have it a lot easier or a lot worse than me/us but I've certainly come out of the other side a lot more knowledgeable and appreciative of my wife and all the things our family is capable of when we are a team instead of constantly at odds and bickering. We are learning to get along again and not take our stress out on each other and our kids get to enjoy both of their parents as well. This is what it's all about. For all of you going through tough times out there, keep your chin up and like I said, don't stop fighting, don't lose hope, never lose hope. If you truly care about the other person you're married to, you can't lose hope and you need to keep fighting. If you don't, then it's time to pack it up and move on. But if you love her or him, keep fighting, HARD! A little patience and understanding and reassurance to your spouse goes a long ways. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL! 💪👊

[chanamand]

Summary of video:
1. Marry later in life (higher education, higher income, brain changes till 25 years, personality at 30 correlates to personality at 50)
2. Share power over decisions (men who can be influenced are 'better', women tend to be more influence-able)
3. Have a reliable partner (someone who does what they say they are going to do, someone who steps up to help you feel cared for and protected)

[OpinionsMatterNamesDont]

Three factors:
1. Sincere love
2. Genuine respect
3. Open communication
Everything else follows.

[Josereyes]

What a great talk!
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
“True love is not a hide and seek game, True love both partners seek each other”

[elee.b]

getting married is something that you can always go for it, but staying as a couple is an art.

[divinegirl]

Marriage is about 1) commitment and doing all duties
2) discipline
3) social intelligence to know how to talk and behave in different situations
4) patience

[jayfroneman]

Having a partner that supports you on your journey to success can have a big influence! I found this very valuable! ❤

[nickd]

A good, strong marriage is the absolute best thing in the world. The problem is the world is currently doing everything it can to make it impossible.

[repentjesus]

God is the reason why I'm still married. My wife and I struggled a lot in our first 3 years of marriage. We hated each other and weren't happy. However, every time I thought about divorce, I feared breaking God's heart and his commandment. I was willing to be unhappy in marriage yet pleased to obey God. Fast forward to today, my wife and I are still married at 14 years and host marriage classes at our church. Our marriage is a blessing and we truly are happy now...it all started with God though.

[ES-xxjq]

Great talk, especially if you're not married yet. It really puts all the insecurities you develop while thinking about marriage into words

[HiStalker]

I am a 39 year old male and I found happiness with my wife who is 40 years old 10 years ago. We met when i was completing my PhD and she was a graduate student. She divorced an incompetent man wherein made her miserable. We are so compatible and I thank God for her. She is everything, I mean everything i ever wanted in a woman. I do my best for her. Well, what i am trying to say it's all about trust. We even share online accounts, everything is transparency within us. I think it's where it all starts. Respect and transparency.

[stephaniesmith]

Often ignored piece of advice: Don't be emotionally dependent on your partner and/or don't be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally dependent on you.
I don't mean emotionally attached; that's different (and positive).
I mean thought processes along the lines of 'My partner is the reason I'm not in a state of depression or suicidal thoughts' or 'I'm not a productive member of society without my partner'.

[jasminemcsweeney]

"Youre with her because you respect her. Make sure that plays out in the decision making process"


Really stuck with me.

[Hooz]

Probably one of the most thoughtful comment sections I’ve seen on youtube. Cheers to the informed, analytical and skeptical - millennials or otherwise!

[justsomeguy]

The subject is important not only to those looking to get married, but also to really anyone looking for a relationship. You both have to treat each other well if you want it to be lasting and meaningful, that’s the bottom line really.

[tanyatanu]

This is probably the most accurate and powerful message that I would deliver to all of the young people who so hurry to get married and have babies. I agree with the speaker, these two are the most important decisions we make in life and need to be approached with careful consideration and thought.

[BruceBlitzHasTits]

best way to build a happy marriage is to bake together. baking is the secret. trust me. bake breads that require lots of kneading and processes. try variations of french baguettes.

[angellesymone]

I honestly don't agree about your mind not changing after 25. When I was 25, I thought I was immortal and i thought I knew everything . Now I'm 30, and realized I don't know much of anything and am still learning.

[AngelTacha]

"The first thing you wanna get before you get married is older"... this is gold. In African communities you are shamed if as a female, you are passed 27 and are not married yet. God forbid you reach 30 and you are still single, then everybody thinks something is wrong with you. Your family starts putting pressure on you and that's how many end up just marrying the first guy who proposes and looks like he has a little bit of money. I'll let you guess how things will go down the line. And as if that wasn't enough, you are considered a failure if you get divorced. Then women just get stuck in these dysfunctional marriages where they are abused just to keep up appearances and save face.