10 Signs That A Narcissist Is Playing You For A Fool

Not only are narcissists not sincere, but they look for all sorts of ways to manipulate you for their gain. Dr. Les Carter identifies 10 of the most common ways narcissists will mess with you...and as you see their tactics for what they are, you can adjust accordingly.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[nikichat]

I dodged a bullet. I just about married a narcissist. I definitely felt panic the closer I got to my wedding date. I thank God that I didn't marry him. I'm sure God helped me see through the lies. Many of my fiance's lies were not even hidden. He even tried to get me to lie for him on many occasions. Praise God he watches out for me. I know what my ex fiance is. A wolf in sheep's clothing. He still has the wool pulled over many other people's eyes, but I know what he is, and I thank God for that.

[SitesWithAds]

When they talk bad about their other friends behind their backs, you can be sure they are talking bad about you when you're not there.

[seedabeauty]

They...

1. Appeal to their own positive traits and grossly minimize their own mistakes and flaws. (Often blame-shifting)
2. Are friendly towards you for doing what they want you to do. (Proving your usefulness).
3. Want, require the favored position. In the family, they want the favored position.
4. ... Whenever you start talking about personal problems, the defensiveness that can arise in the narcissist can be irrational.
5. Criticize other people to you, while you're next.
6. Have an unwillingness to be truly accountable to anyone. They keep a lot of secrets.
7. Love to play games with the truth. They give you half-truths. Very one-sided leaving themselves looking innocent.
8. Are almost impossible to discuss conflicts with.
9. Are quite willing to talk poorly about you behind your back.
10. Are constantly canvassing the crowd for someone better than you.

... Learn to trust your gut.

[TAP-xsnd]

I was played for 40 years. I feel like, I’m waking from a bad dream. I could never understand the feeling in my gut, unaware of such evil.

[MariaSantana-ulwd]

Indeed, they "do you dirty" and laugh at your pain. No decency, no civility. Like a demon, no compassion and no mercy.

[aaronkwolfe]

Looking back, I can see how many times my (estranged, narcissistic) wife set me up to fall into her trap to get me to react and then react in horror when I did. Serious mind-game stuff. Yet carefully executed to come off as being the victim. Even placing a witness to my “abuse” in a location where they couldn’t see me, but could see her staged reaction and then lie about what they couldn’t see what she claims I did. That was my grey rock moment of realizing you cannot win by playing her game. So, game over. Marriage over. Relationship over. Wow, the freedom since then tastes great.

[danarchambault]

If you knew how they speak of you when your not present, you would no longer smile

[BK-qpzp]

I am an empath who was utterly destroyed after my narcissist husband discarded me after 40 years of marriage. I though then that there couldn't possibly be a pain any worse. Then my adult son died at 38. I can assure you that what I thought had been the worst pain ever, totally paled in comparison to the loss of my son. That was just over 2 years ago. My daughter and I had to make a vow to each other not to hurt the other by taking our own life. My son recently came to me in a dream and told me that I need to do better. That lifted my soul to a point that I can do better. Some days I am more successful than others. Thank you for your videos - they continue to remind me that I was not imagining things.

[nancylarrea]

Narcissists fool themselves into believing they are something they are not. It’s so silly, and sad to watch and they HATE being called out on it. And really hate people that can see through them, like myself.

[robertcalamusso]

Ive had people like this in my life. They eat your kindness and generosity alive.

Get them out of your life

[t.h.]

The thing of it is it doesn't matter what you do. How hard you work to please them, the pain you endure for them. It will never be enough.

[bonnieanderson]

This is why I would rather just be by myself! So many people are narcissist!

[goldendolphinfilms]

You get played until you break down so then they get to label you fragile

[melindatyler]

Thank you, doctor. I try to explain to friends who have never seen a narcissist operate: Narcissists are charming - until they're not. You can't always see their game at the beginning, so give yourself a break. They've been playing their game for a long time.

[rwdchannel]

The narcissist likes to get you busy slaving for them and double down on your workload too. They feel entitled to your labor. They like the feeling of being the monarch.

[fionabutchart]

Love that “ I just want you to have your peace”. It is so peaceful when they are not around.

[elderlypoodle]

My mother would laugh in the middle of trying to tell her how hurt I was. “Oh you are so sensitive “

[iys]

I feel sorry for those who don't see through the narcissist's strategies....it's hard at first but once you are on to them, it's so freeing afterwards.

[brittpayne]

I was standing in our dark hallway, and i heard my husband say, " ive been married twice before, but SHE is the worst of them!" And pointed towards my direction. So then i stepped out of the shadows, and ive never seen so much denial and gaslighting in my life. I was deeply hurt because i was the one in his corner, unlike his previous wives. And from there, i knew he mustve back stabbed me more than once. My prince charming will never be trusted again. I have to mention that i only came into that position because i was going to get a drink of water and halted when i saw his arm pointing to where i was. So i stopped and observed. I was flabbergasted because we werent even fighting! It was a nice evening!

[Jesussaves]

When I approach the narcissist to try to address an issue he likes to say "that happened hours ago, why are you bringing it up now? Quit dwelling on it..." Other times when I try to talk to him he also likes to turn my concern about him right back on me and say I do whatever I am saying he does. Deny, project, deflect, excuses and passive aggressive, sarcasm... It's exhausting and depressing.😢