10 Things to Identify Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

This video explores narcissism as a spectrum disorder, delving into its components and distinguishing it from a personality trait. The key aspects covered include grandiosity, variable self-esteem, reactions to threats, self-enhancing and self-serving interpersonal behavior, avoidance, aggression, perfectionism, impaired empathic ability, and attention-seeking tendencies. Understanding these elements provides insight into the complexities of narcissistic behavior and its impact on relationships.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:

Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

00:00 Introduction
00:11 What is narcissism?
01:14 Grandiosity
03:10 Variable self-esteem
03:20 Superiority -Assertiveness
04:30 Reactions to perceived threats to self-esteem
07:13 Self-enhancing interpersonal behavior
07:56 Self-serving interpersonal behavior
08:06 Fail to reciprocate favors from others
09:04 Avoiding
09:35 Enlisting
12:40 Perfectionism
13:42 Impaired empathic ability
15:12 Attention seeking
17:06 Socioeconomic dysfunction

[kateskeys]

There's a lot of shrinks on Youtube. Daniel Fox is head and shoulders above them. Thanks for all your hard work Dr. Fox.! YOU ROCK!

[LarjoskiFlyingAway]

I can’t believe how amazingly accurate this is. My partner knew something wasn’t right with his emotions but he could never explain what it was, but he constantly is seeking happiness even at age 61. Unfortunately his happiness is the attention of many women.

[shelchicago]

Thank you for the refresher course on narcissism. You can’t over-educate us about this topic!

[karenhooker]

Thank you so much for this eye opener! Unfortunately it took me over 40 years of marriage to understand the relationship wasn’t all my fault. I think this was explained very well!

[whitewings]

Yes, I realized I am very narcissistic while not having the disorder. As I have aged and grown I have reflected and stopped being so selfish. I used to be so full of myself. Life and reality has humbled me.
Not sure if anyone is going to read this but if you're wondering if you might be a narcissist maybe it will clear the landscape.

1. I used to lie when I felt bad about myself. I'd lie about stories or achievements. But around 20 I stopped because I realized I wasn't really connecting with others and I found some friends who loved me for myself and I didn't feel I needed to impress them. (Find your tribe and be authentic) if you choose friends over admiration, you're gonna be alright. Keep going.

2. I used to have a real lazy streak. (Still struggle with procrastination) part of this was not taking treatment for my adhd, but it was also because I didn't realize the confidence you can gain from just being able to be stable for yourself, and if you can, being stable for someone else feels amazing. Knowing that you have something to offer someone by way of employment or providing for a love one feels really fulfilling.

3. Arrogance: I was really into activism and I used to be very religious in my early 20s. At some point I realized that activism isn't a bad thing per se, but I can do so much more good by just investing in my own little circle of influence. Taking care of my health, yard, relationships, and car make a difference. It may seem small but you'll notice that once you start dealing with your own chaos, you don't have the time to try to morality to anyone else, and if people do bring a problem to you, you'll be full of compassion and empathy for your brother or sister. As far as the religious stuff, don't be proud. We are all lost in the woods and slowly walking out. It's super confusing and encourage those who are trying and loving.

4. Stop trying to impress other people. This one is hard. especially if you were denied attention as a kid. I know it hurts and you think that being an impressive man or woman will make everything better. It won't. It's never ending. Do things because you enjoy them. Do things because they interest you. Find out who you really are without all the pomp. Do what you love and you will love being alone.

5. No one else can soothe your pain. They can hold you. They can encourage you. They can understand. But you are the only person who can heal your pain. Don't expect others to read your mind, to know what you need, or to be able to save you from disappointment. They can't. Dig in and face the pain. Work through those old wounds.

6. This one is part of healing. Revise your self-description. If you've changed, forgive yourself and update the way you see yourself. Stop shaming yourself cause you were bad. . cause you're not anymore. You did the work. You changed for the sake of love for your fellow man and woman, for your family, for your lover, for yourself. A bonus of this is that you will love the unlovable. You will feel compassion for the self-aware narcissist. You'll see them try and you'll celebrate their efforts and their victories. You'll understand their disappointment when they fail.

Gratitude: no longer feeling like you deserve better, you will being to be so grateful for any opportunity or any relationship. You'll cherish the people who choose to love the broken and narcissistic you. You'll be grateful for your job, your health, and everything. You'll stop thinking about where you should be by now, and start thinking about how far you could have sank.

7. This is the last thing I've noticed about myself and maybe everyone's journey is different but maybe this is you too. You will have difficultly containing your empathy once you stop blocking it. You will be more observant to the feelings of others. You'll see the good and the bad. You might cry a lot. Sometimes I start out with tears for someone else, then they turn into tears for my own pain, then joy for how far I have come from that constant pain.

Please don't give up. Don't get so sad that you think there isn't hope. There is. It takes time and you might be alone for most of it but be diligent and you can recover your true self. You'll never be perfect. But you can be connected. I promise that average can feel really great. It's gonna be ok. And eventually it's gonna be better than ok.

[KurtAnderson]

After watching this I’m trying to decide if everyone I’ve ever dated is a narcissist or if it’s me.

[sarahs]

I'm interested in self-selecting out of bad relationships and how to safely do so.

[damsel]

I definitely freak out and self shame when I make a mistake. I’m learning that it’s ok…to screw up. I don’t like to see others in pain, and have no desire to belittle or manipulate another. I have a lot of empathy, thank god, lol.
So glad I found your channel- wonderful.

[livewithabula]

Currently going through a divorce with a narcissist 😩😩😩😩. All along I thought I was crazy but there is an actual diagnosis for his behavior 😒.

[spikesayen]

I have been in a tumultuous 8-yr relationship with a person with NPD and I have BPD. We are currently broken up (again!) But, with your help I finally understand our issues and it helps me see why we don't belong together at all. Not just his issues but how and why I react the way I do. It gives me strength and helps me not blame myself. It isn't love at all...just a Trauma Bond. This is all part of a cycle. Understanding makes it less painful. Thank you, Dr.Fox!

[bs]

This was brilliant. As a clinician I am surrounded by this on a daily basis. Well explained 🙂

[vpxc]

Maybe the first educational video content on this I've seen which portrays narcissists in a way that feels sympathetic but realistic and not dramatic. So much content in this genre seems interested in portraying narcissists only as extremely pitiful or outright monstrous (sometimes both).

[lou-annbest]

My mother used to say she " suffered more than her wildest dreams" . She is much more grandiose in her old age because she has no responsibilities and gets waited on hand and foot by my brother .

[OliveJuice]

10:21 This part really stood out to me and resolved a lot of confusion about why my NPD ex-boyfriend always chose him enabling friends and family and even strangers over me most of the time. It's because they expected less from him and rarely held him accountable, unlike me. It helps to explain why he walked out on me, only telling me that he had once he was halfway across the country. Thanks so much for this information!

[busterbeagle]

Pardon me Dr at your ping-pong sound effects are spot on and very impressive

[liljerseygirl]

I feel terrible that a human lives with so much inner pain, so sad. But, I know we have to stay away from them to save ourself. Thank you for your videos.

[mssattitude]

The pet the kitty comparsion is genius. This describes their needs just perfectly.

[pamhalula]

You are dead on! My soon to be ex would even argue that his son suffered anxiety more than anyone ..I guess his son being an extension of him made the suffering somehow his. Thank you for doing what you do. Narcissistic abuse is life changing.

[anthonybendana]

Mannn I won’t lie I am Narcissistic selfish and controlled by anger Bc of a dark passed... and i can’t do it nomo I see I hurt ppl and I didn’t care but now I do I wanna change so happy I watched dis to fully understand

[becky]

Yo...my ex boyfriend scored 10/10 and met all the other requirements. I've done more research too and he meets everything. Thank you so much for breaking it down so perfectly.