10 Signs You Are Talking to a Covert Narcissist

Covert narcissists are initially very good at concealing their narcissistic traits and behaviours. However, here are 10 conversational clues that can help you recognize that you are probably talking to a covert narcissist. In this video, I will also explain 5 ways you will likely feel after leaving a conversation with a covert narcissist.

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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on YouTube are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach and reassure without revealing private information about individuals.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.

Introduction (0:00)
Number 1: Boasting (0:52)
Number 2: Gossiping and Bashing (1:57)
Number 3: They Criticize You (3:27)
Number 4: Unsolicited Advice (4:05)
Number 5: Playing the Victim (5:12)
Number 6: Self-Centered (6:00)
Number 7: Fake Empathy (7:36)
Number 8: Antagonistic (8:33)
Number 9: Unrealistic Expectations (9:11)
Number 10: Label Others as Narcissists (9:55)

#NPD #covertnarcissist #npd #narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic

[carparthero]

10 signs you are talking to a covert narcissist
1-boasting by dropping hints
2-gossiping and bashing others to elevate themself
3-criticizing you under the guise of being honest
4-unsolicited advice that doesn't suit your situation
5-playing the victim in every story but never taking accountability
6-incredibly self-centred in conversation
7-selective listening and fake empathy
8-defensive, they take offence over any disagreements
9-long list of expectations and one-way boundaries
10-they will project their undesirable traits onto others

5 ways you will likely feel after leaving a conversation with a covert narcissist
1-anxious and uneasy
2-diminished and inferior
3-confused
4-frustrated
5-drained

cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[ricarellan]

They listen to respond, not to comprehend

[Henryism]

#11 From out of nowhere they give you the narcissistic smirk.
#12 You turn your head and catch them silently laughing at you.

[gazoo]

Circular conversation, that tends to lead nowhere. Totally one sided.. Yep, very frustrating...

[AndrewJohnson-oyoj]

My father was a covert narcissist and that comment about "You will leave a conversation with them feeling exhausted" hit me so hard. That was exactly it. He would just exhaust you every time.

[alex_ya_boi]

you can barely even have a conversation with a narcissist

[suzystone]

Was married 9.5 years. A covert narcissist. Now divorced. Recovering still.
Have ZERO desire for relationships.
❤

[jphsslh]

I've dealt with many of these. The biggest one is the starting a conversation and then getting cut off midway through. I never got a chance to ever get my point of view or opinion across before it was always cut off

[binesart]

How to differentiate harmless people with ADHD or autism from narcissistic people: it’s the vibe! A lot of traits are similar! It may be annoying, but Most neurodivergent people are very accepting and warm hearted, still, they can accidentally zone out, Info dump, talk about themselves to help others, miss social hints, forget what you just said, coming along as rude and self centered. But the vibe tells the difference. Yes, It can be draining to talk to a ND person in hyperfocus or zoned out, BUT you won’t feel anxious, humiliated, depressed afterwards! ND people are oftentimes the least judgemental person in the room!❤

She went deep with this and every word of it is 100% true. 40+ confusing chaotic miserable years after a 19 year old young & dumb me married what I now know is a narc. Walk away and take any kids with you. A narc will never change and your life will never get better. Don't waste your youth or look back with regrets in old age. You deserve better. ❤

[runamukrancher]

A phone call w a covert narc: they suddenly are talking with someone else in the house about an unrelated subject while you are waiting to continue the original conversation. Which becomes far less important due to the interruption!

[kimrobinson]

The malignant narcissist I was involved with for eight years, his big schtick was triangulation. According to him, a constant stream of supposed exes were clamoring for him to return to them. Later, I found out the majority had never dated him, but some of the "exes" were from as far back as the THIRD GRADE! This guy was a party of one who tried to get me to believe he'd been with over 40 women. When I learned the truth, I couldn't believe I'd fallen for his BS for so long.

[vanessac]

Rubbishing other people disguised as concern is the big give away for personality disorders, both narcissism and borderline.

[beachlife]

A big one not listed here is...Coverts can listen intently and make you can feel very heard and validated but they don't really care about you...they are only gathering data to use against you.

This is part of the honeymoon phase...you will forever be trying to get back to that connection that becomes a mere glimpse of it after they are done needing to get amo on you.

[bean]

yup all boxes checked, and it only took me 45 years to figure it out! Thank you for shedding light on this subject!

[williampatchen]

Its a good that people are getting educated about narcissism.
But the problem is narcissism has become the most common accusation for people to use as a weapon against someone in an argument.
So narcissists will never admit to themselves that they are narcissistic.
Narcissism is the real zombie apocalypse
🧟‍♀️ 🧟‍♂️ 🥺🧟‍♂️ 🧟

[sarrjel]

A female lead I work with checks all of the boxes. She's really sneaky and good at lying and putting on an act. This video only confirms what I've been experiencing.

[nobbynoris]

I knew someone who was evidently a narcissist some years back. My mother had just died and I was telling her how I felt the local hospital had let her down.

This woman's response?


"Well, let me tell you what happened to me in that hospital." Not even an expression of sympathy. Just straight on to her and her issues.

Everybody else who knew her seemed to adore her, she was very well liked. it was incredible. It was as if I was the only person who could see through her.

There is only one way to deal with a narcissist. Identify them and withdraw your social contact from them. Isolate them. Leave them alone. Do not waste your time or attention on them. These people are not capable of change of improvement. They are unsaveable. They're parasites.

[henrymartinez]

She nailed it! Feel uneasy, agitated after talking to narcissist probably because of the constant guilt trips

[freedomprivilegeall]

I think i read somewhere. In conversation. That if you speak in a complementary way about anyone. A narcissist will squirm in their seat. I have a covert narcissist in my life. She Is off the charts 😂 i can’t get away from her. So i just make sure i notice and point out other peoples good qualities in her presence it’s unbelievable. She hates me. 😁