7 Signs You've Suffered Narcissistic ABUSE (Suffering Narcissistic Abuse)

Sam Vaknin Richard Grannon Seminar Liverpool March 2019 "How to Manipulate the Narcissist or Psychopath"

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[VladtheInhaler]

You are literally one of the most helpful people in the world.

[VeganoGuy]

I spent a year with a guy. The first day we met (within 20 minutes), he insulted my lifestyle and I told him he was insulting and walked away. He apologised and said it was 'just a joke'. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt. For the next 6 months, he claimed to 'respect' and 'admire' my lifestyle and asked many questions about it. Then one day, out of the blue, after 6 months, he insulted me again in the same way as on the first date. I assumed he was 'just teasing' and said nothing. For the next 6 months, he continued to make this same insult EVERY TIME WE MET! I always came away feeling like shit and second-guessing myself. "Does he mean it? No. He's a nice guy but just has a vile sense of humour." This was for 6 months.

I know I was abused by both parents as a child and probably have some form of cPTSD. This knowledge in itself leads me to question myself. "Am I just being overly sensitive and he has the right to joke?" I know now that he was insulting me. A friend 'casually' chatted to him with the intention of finding out what he really felt. I was told that "he really does think your lifestyle is 'pointless', 'annoying' and 'stupid'." So, it appears that my ex wanted to express his contempt whilst hiding behind "I'm just kidding."

I shouldn't have been asking myself, "Does he mean it? Is he being abusive? Am I being oversensitive?" but rather, "He makes me feel like shit after every date, which isn't something everyone does. So whether he's intentionally trying to upset me is irrelevant. I should end the relationship now."

I believe there was a part of me that didn't want to reject 'an innocent person' but that's not why we have relationships. We have them to enhance our lives. If someone doesn't, that's not a relationship we should continue.

> If it makes you feel like shit and it's every single day...End it.

[stevieblighter]

'Normal communication between adults isn't bewildering, isn't humiliating, doesn't hurt and isn't angst-ridden'.
Thank you, really, so much. I've believed I'm a bad person incapable of love all my life. I've spent 47 years trying to prove to my family I'm worthy. The past 15 years I've tried desperately to get them to acknowledge there's something wrong with how they interact with me. I don't want to do this anymore. It's killing me actually. I'm so terribly unhappy. I think there is nothing more I can do except give up and walk away.

[DeAtHaToMiC]

I think and most unfortunately most of us who suffer or have suffered this type of abuse will only really question it after the event has happened.

[gamayun]

"Adrenalized" that's how I felt just being around him or talking to him on the phone. So much "bewildering" stuff was happening, that I always felt not scared, not angry, not hurt - adrenalized, antsy, uneasy.

[brenda]

Apologizing to my body for the humongous amounts of adrenaline cocktails it has consumed for the past 20 years ...

[christinecameron]

You are NOT "oversensitive" A true narcissist is one of the most toxic and abusive people imaginable, and their favorite tactic is to paint YOU as the big horrible abusive judgemental bully, and themself as the poor innocent wronged victim. If they lie about you...well you "made me misunderstand". If you object to their abuse "You're against me! You don't really LOVE me! You're being *JUDGEMENTAL against me." or "You're just being oversensitive" and chances are there will be an attitude from their family that "well s/he's different and s/he's special and you just have to be more understanding" and "You need to be more accepting, less judgemental, and try harder to avoid upsetting them".

If any of these things sound like someone in your life, RUN. If its someone you're dating, dump them quick!

[leslieannern]

Almost 2 weeks ago a friend suggested I check out some youtube videos on narcissistic abuse.  Less than 3 days later and having watched most of your videos - I left.  Thank you for this amazing resource.

[Belindasilva]

32 years of it. I can't even tell about many things he's done to me. I am now struggling to see myself as a full human, worthy of being equal to even a stranger on the street.
Your videos now give me hope.

[Trishapaytasofficial]

‘Doesn’t matter if Bob has NPD. If he makes Sally feel shitty for years, then she should leave Bob regardless of the reason’

[lgray]

I disagree this is no longer rare. narcissists have been in high numbers for years they just were not labeled before

[artistsurvivor]

I agree that narcissism is trending (for want of a better word) online these days. And, I do think that this can lead to labeling every asshole we meet as a narcissist without actually seeing if they meet the criteria for diagnosis. When I first realized the truth about my family of origin, I was deeply traumatized and paranoid. I was seeing narcissists everywhere. It took me some time, healing, and education to realize that not every garden variety asshole I met was a malignant narc or a sociopath. But, I also think that we live in a time in which there are more narcissists out there. It's really too complex a subject to write about here, but I honestly think that we as a society are actually breeding narcissists and sociopaths.

[roxanneosbit]

I often asked myself, would this narc say or do that to another person outside the family? Usually, no. They only target certain people. They know what they are doing.

[mylittlecornerofdevon]

Empaths also need to cultivate enough self awareness around themselves and understand that their own needs and desires to help/ fix / bear with these broken individuals are unrealistic. X

[quinadams]

5:27 You pretty much nailed it, the narc abuse community on youtube is guilty of doing this constantly (not everyone though)
I've come across 5 channels exactly like this! They're convinced they're practically therapists even if they have no actual education on the matter, they post constant videos spouting their faulty "advice"...And anyone who disagrees with them or calls them out on their bullshit are labeled
This is why I love your channel so much, you are educated and actually know what you're talking about.

[archangel.]

Guy told me "You better not dog me and you better call me everyday." - After 3 dates. I told him about a friend that was having a rough time and he said, "Your friend is crazy and tell her, that her friend(meaning me) is crazy too." Very self important as well. When I would not take his calls he messaged me on FB and I told him that I did not like his subtle put downs and that his sarcasm was a turn off. He says, "OMG! I never said that!" Gaslighted then said, "This is (his name) Do you know who you are talking to? " Then he switched it up and said "Please, we need to talk about this! You know how I feel about you! Please we need to meet to talk about this!" I did not respond. BYE!

[alikitcat]

I do feel that you know if you are being emotionally abused or narcissistically abused if you are starting
to come here and look it up and watching these on YouTube. Also your gut instincts are pinging off saying something is not right it feels off and it's feels really not right at all. Also if you feel like you have been walking on eggshells stopping yourself from saying or doing something or having to say the right things around someone and it's more of a consistent thing. When you start to question that someone is putting you down and making you doubt your own mind about what's just been said and they twist things and go from loving you to devaluing you and you start to realise they are twisting the story and finally they discard you or stone wall you. And your always questioning something is not right and you feel like a emotional wreck I truly believe you are or have gone through emotional or narc abuse. Also narcs never reflect or give closure. You are literally feeling like..

[mariegibbons]

When I confide in a friend about all the devaluation, the rage, the accusations, demands and insults, I often hear them telling me “he has his good points I’m sure”. It’s like they get the impression I’m just putting him down and that I should overlook the abuse because we’re all imperfect.

[wotiluv]

Both my parents are classical narcs it's ridiculous. I have been in therapy for it and my therapist is certain that both my parents and some of my siblings are narcs and made me the scapegoat. Seeing these videos though really helps me as well because it answers a lot of questions and now I know I'm not crazy. I am not in contact with any of them anymore and will probably not ever see them again (there is a great amount of freedom and peace in that) When I step back and look at my actions I see that whenever with them I too had narcissistic tendencies but the difference is that I'm aware of my actions and have worked on myself through therapy whereas they are completely in the dark.

[DarthShadie]

My husband and I often go through emotional flashbacks, and then we talk it through and analyse our discoveries. I was narcissistically abused and he once dated someone who was a bully and abusive. Different things will trigger us. Sometimes, me having an emotional flashback and reacting a certain way, will trigger an emotional flashback for him. But we always listen to each other after that initial intense moment and apologise for our hurtful words or tones. I think when you have such a strong bond and loving relationship, moments like these can only make your relationship stronger.