Sex with a Covert Narcissist

How was your intimate moments with the narcissist?

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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.

Platforms I am on:

#narcissism #narcissist #npd

[hakametal]

Sex for them is just an act. It's mechanical and a performance. There's no intimacy or soul to it.
You can feel it in your gut.

[matrescence_motherhood]

It starts out good but then they withhold it to make you feel unwanted. I’m so glad to be out of that hell.

[VikingSpirit]

Absolutely… your body knows often even before your heart and head have figured it out… and once you put it all together it is a horrifying realisation that your whole relationship has effectively been a lie and you loved a hollow shell

[theafricanaquarian]

Sex with a covert narcissist is always "the best" because they're not giving you real honesty/respect/communication in other areas, so the sex overcompensates and withdrawal will be used as a punishment

[annettebaggett]

I felt such resentment towards my husband, and always cried after sex. I felt used because he NEVER met my emotional needs..ever.

[samraesamrae]

So true, my sex experience with a covert narcissist is just like u described... It's like being used to serve their needs... They avoid intimicy and never cares about their partner's needs... Thank God I was smart to recognize that just from the first experience and dumped him right away 😅😅😅

[georgelay]

Absolutely true. I went from a great sex drive in beginning of relationship to not wanting it at all from her in the end. The torture from the mind games just wore me down.

[cindyspringstead]

My marriage was pretty much sexless for years. I told him to get sex he would have to show me emotion and attention. Anything I asked him for, he would do the opposite. Felt intentional.

[lauriesyme]

I needed to hear this, sex is never talked about when you are with a covert narcissist, and it needs to be talked about. These people are so evil, they don’t actually love you, or even themselves. It’s like being a prisoner of war, and no one says anything about it.

[anital]

Now I understand why I was no longer sexually attracted to my husband. Thank you so much for this information. I don't know how many times I got a lecture for saying no I didn't feel like it tonight. I was even pushed off the side of the bed because I didn't comply. The more he pushed me off the side of the bed or lectured me the less I wanted anything to do with him. I managed to stay married to him for 30 years before I realized I did not have to live like this. I left 13 years ago and have not been interested in dating. I am completely drained, exhausted and just don't want to be involved with anyone.

[td]

Sex with a narc is selfish, people think it's good sex cause it was the only time you felt any intimacy. They have weird things about them when it comes to sex that makes you question things afterwords

[RyanOlsen]

Man, this is spot on. She had the audacity to tell the couples counselor that I treated her like my sex goddess. I said, "If you're my sex goddess then I want a new one!" Needless to say, that counseling lasted about 3 sessions before she left me 😄 I could literally count on one hand the number of times she allowed me to have sex with her in about two years. At the end, I was so disgusted with her that there was absolutely zero attraction. Folks, attraction and fulfillment in a relationship and the bedroom comes from love, honor, respect, and connection; emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Leave these people in the dust and go on to have a real relationship with a healthy individual.

[susannafranklin]

This is so spot on! It is so insidious the way they love bomb you, then begin devaluing you and a decent person doesn't know what is happening to them! Then the blameshifting and gas lighting! I began smoking weed and eventually drinking again after 20 years of sobriety after marrying a covert narcissist. Took me a darn long time to realize the problem wasn't me, and during that time l lost EVERY THING! My sobriety, my financial security, my closest friends, and my family. I am now completely broke, living paycheck to paycheck, and my friends and family think it is because l am mentally ill or something! Of course they do-l kept going back to thr narcissist until l listened to months of Sam Vantin and figured it out.

[peacenquiet]

This is so validating.
I was married for 20 years to my narc. Ex-husband:
I always felt used after sex.
My body knew that I actually was being used.
When I finally could see the abuse and the dehumanizing demeaning way he treated me, the abuse cycle… I finally could see clearly that I really was being used and abused. I told him I needed a break from sex, I told him, “My soul won’t let me.” “You are so mean to me, I’m afraid of you-how do you expect me to make love to you when I’m actually afraid of you?” He flew into a rage, and yelled, “Don’t make me go find another wife” and insisted, “Wives make love to their husbands”
Now it all adds up- I can see clearly that it was actually projection when he said to me in our 17th year of marriage, “You’re so easily manipulated, if someone told you that you’ve been being raped for the past 17 years, you’d believe it.” I see now that effectively, I really was being raped, and my soul knew it.

[emilygray]

This is so so real! The love bombing and mirroring is killer!! I begged and begged for a better more intimate sex life, it didn’t matter. I was very sexual when I entered my relationship, but by the time I got out of the relationship I had zero sex drive! It was crushing on so many levels, I regret this relationship more than anything I e ever done. It changed me for the worse In so many ways! I’m in therapy and healing now and can see the reality of it all now! Thank you for getting this out to the public!!

[luise_sams]

I found out: "I never matter" is one of my very deep inner believes. I developed it in my childhood to reduce emotional pain.
This believe is the main reason why my husband was able to abuse me.
I can see my pattern to always care for others but not for me in many situations. There is a lot of work to do.

[lisaperezcreations]

I dident know that your body can shut down. I experience this myself. And wonder why. Thanks for sharing this.

[Crowski]

He acted like he owned my body. If I was in pain or not in the mood, he would call me a bitch and tell me to go F myself.
He’d get so mad….
Then I gave in to keep him from being upset, and I’m in pain..he’d get angry.
Like why are you mad that I’m in pain…????
He didn’t give two shits about me.
That’s been the hardest thing to wrap my mind around and I still struggle with it….

[jonnyaesthetic]

As an early thirties Jamaican bodybuilder with well above average testosterone, I was literally suffering from ED. This video just blew my mind. I kept wondering what was wrong with me. I took all our Caribbean herbs, took supplements, even tried yoga…

But now.. now I understand that my body was protecting me from her. Everything you said was so accurate. She slowly started withholding sex and would never flirt with me. As a handsome fit guy (I say this with humility) I started to slowly feel unconfident and unworthy. And eventually my reality shifted and I began projecting that lack of confidence and self worth.

We were doing a long distance relationship after being with each other for 5 years. She knew I worked with attractive women. I was so proud to say I’m in a relationship and stay focused.

But then.. when it came time to satisfy my needs for intimacy she was always busy or something would come up.

She enjoyed knowing that I was desirable and loyal but would wait until SHE was ready. And when she was it felt like empty. Like it happened just to keep stringing me a long.

Like giving a dog a treat for good behaviour.

I’m thankful it’s done. To all my fellow survivors and thrivers, keep your boundaries high and your standards even higher!

[sharon]

Marriage became sexless after two weeks. Porn addicted. Before we married, he did everything right. Suddenly he did everything I hated. It would ruin the mood…I had to either tolerate what I didn’t like or say something which would start a fight bc he would claim he “forgot”. He asked me to write a list of the things I liked but he would not read it, then he claimed he lost the list. He was quite content with his porn and his right hand and resented anything being asked or expected of him. He started sleeping at one end of the house and I stayed in the bedroom. Whatever you want, they will make sure you don’t get be it sex, love, attention or affection: they live to reject you