When the narcissist is the devil you know

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
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“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”
—Robin Williams

elcee
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The “familiarity” of the devil you know can also lead to another proverb….”familiarity breeds contempt”. And that contempt that you feel will be for yourself for settling for an unhealthy relationship.

HeeersEllery
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Learning how to be alone was essential for my recovery from both narcissistic abuse and substance use disorder. I was more isolated than I had ever been in my life when I made most of my breakthroughs. The quiet helped me get back in touch with myself. When you recover from addiction, you are constantly told that you need to be around as many people as possible and that isolation is a killer. That might be true in some cases, but when you don't yet know how to pick healthy people you can find yourself in yet another abusive dynamic in your attempt to not isolate. Sometimes it's best to be alone until you heal a little bit so then you don't run the risk being preyed upon when you're in a vulnerable state.

Askalott
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I literally have no one in my life now. Single, no friends, and no family. I used to be absolutely terrified of being alone. But my last ex destroyed me in only 8 months. It made me go looking for answers and oh boy did I find them. I’ve spent the last 3 years healing and I’m finally at a peaceful place with being alone. I still feel lonely some days but that’s ok I don’t fear it anymore ❤️

steve
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Another Proverb I heard recently… unequally yoked. It refers to oxen. The shorter oxen, lower on the yoke, will drag the taller one down… but it is nearly impossible for the taller oxen to pull the shorter one up. I think of it as… narcissists will drag you down with their toxicity… making you less. You can’t fix, or pull up, a narcissist to your non-toxic values. It is referenced in the Bible at least once by Paul. Thought I’d share. Thanks!

christinemacpherson
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Staying free from narcissism is like a weight being lifted on your soul. You feel like a worthy person when the distress is absent from your life.

bewitched
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No one should seek a new relationship until they are totally healed from narcissistic abuse. We live in a society where everyone believes that we HAVE to have a significant other.

cassiebennet
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I used to think of him as "the devil I know" but now I avoid the devil altogether.

SkyePhoenix
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I’m up for NO devils. Just life’s regular ups and downs, and no family or partner trying to undermine me from the inside out! There’s something comforting about problems now not being aimed at me personally (by narcissists), but just neutral things out there which everyone has to deal with.

ohgpxpt
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I agree wholeheartedly! I am 36, single, and free from at least two…maybe more… narcissists. It’s snowing outside in Alabama… and I’m just hanging in comfy clothes with no one but myself and my class pet rabbits. Some may say pathetic… but it is pure bliss doing what I want without a judgmental, moody, jerk hovering over me! No thanks, devil. I don’t need your heat! You rock Doc!! 💕

christinemacpherson
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Facing the fact that your are alone is scary. Nobody around when you are sick or when you need some help. When in relationship with a narcissist you don't really have any real help but you can at least pretend you would have it if you really need it. Leaving and being alone, you are faced with the hard reality. And it's not easy. Anxiety, fear, panic.... Of course, you can do well on your own but realising that and overcoming anxiety is the main issue regarding leaving and healing

anelifloris
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I hate being alone but I love my self respect more.

sparkygump
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I totally agree that fear is a big stumbling block to leaving but I remember when I left my children's father, they were really small (1 and 3) and I had to sit down with myself and say "this will be hard, in many ways, but do you want to raise your children in a home like this" and the emphatic answer was NO . And it was hard, but we survived and thrived, yes he witheld money as much as he could get away with and I worked hard, but we went on holiday every year, even if it was just camping, we had a roof over our head and food on the table and they were in a good school and both now have university degrees and good jobs. And for them now, what we survived made them strong enough to handle him even though they are no unharmed and both see a Therapist from time to time. But they are 2 grounded smart young adults and I do not regret leaving for a second

Wildevis
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This is exactly how I understand it.
I remember years of fear when my narcissistic father lived with my mother and me. Mom was afraid he would leave us, and I prayed for it. The day he moved out was tough for my mum, but from year to year I feel that she is getting stronger and calmer. We disconnected the drip with the toxin that was destroying us.
Thank You for this message. ♥ I recently found this channel, I feel that a lot will brighten up for me.

rosol_polski
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Weirdly enough my narcissistic ex used to refer to *himself* as The Devil You Know. Almost like it was a fun character trait to be a self-aware narcissist, completely aware of the fact that he knew I thought he was the best I could do and enjoyed holding that over me by *literally* playing the role of The Devil You Know.

jonestowndixiecups
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I just saw a comment today from a woman who said, "I was tired of making Hell a nice place." Man! That hit me.

susannay.
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You are a treasure! Thanks so much. I dissociated myself from my crazy narcissistic mom last April after she threatened to have me arrested and jailed for elder abuse because I told her I did not appreciate her insulting and talking trash about my spouse, who has been my rock since 1975. I had flown to Iowa from NC to assist her in packing for an upcoming move. Had to find a way to the airport. Bought another ticket, came home, and that is it. No one should be forced into misery just because their Mom is a real sicko.

lindenwinterberger
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Stayed for 36 years, for this very reason. That, and Somehow feeling that I needed to learn to love that this was something I was supposed to do, no matter what because of my wedding vows. However, the movie about Cinderella (Drew Barrymore) has an interesting line in it. When she asks her stepmother if she has ever loved her, the stepmother responds, “How can you love a pebble in your shoe?”
How can you really ever, truly love someone who treats you horribly? And why would you want to? I finally realized that I was asking the impossible of myself, while expecting no change from it wasn’t ever going to happen.

lynnehaeberle
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Fear of the unknown kept me stuck for years. I'm honestly not even sure how I finally walked away but I did. It's been 2½ years and I'm still trying to sort my life out. Sometimes it's overwhelming and lonely. But the one thing I have now is peace. I can't tell you how priceless that is to me.

diannashuster
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I've always heard, "better the beast you know, " which is basically the same (in some cultures, beast and devil are used interchangeably). Having grown up with this, I thought the devil was normal. Then I had kids and, everything the devil expected of me as a child suddenly felt wrong for me to expect of my own children, and the gears in my head started turning. I wasn't raised by a parent, I was raised by a beast. It was a bittersweet epiphone. Childhood doesn't have to be hard and scary and confusing, and parents shouldn't constantly move the goalposts while letting the kids figure it out the hard way.

freckle