How repressed anger makes us sick (and how to work with it) #emotionalregulation #gabormate

In this clip, I read an excerpt from one of Gabor Maté’s books and break down why it is so vital for us to learn not only WHY anger is medicine but HOW when it is stuck inside of us… Repressed. Suppressed. Stifled… It can (and most likely will) make us sick. The good news? There’s plenty you can do about it! Watch this video and the full talk linked below to learn more.

Resources & mentions to complement this clip:

► Anger As Medicine (Special topics lecture with Irene Lyon)

► Gabor Mate - book - When The Body Says No

► The Body Keeps the Score - by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.

► Anger Is Essential… Here’s Why

► Functional freeze explained

► Origins of The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Study:

Chapters:
00:00:00 - The Importance of Expressing Anger in a Healthy Way
00:01:39 - The Connection Between Suppressed Emotions and Chronic Illness
00:04:00 - The Repression and Expression of Anger
00:06:09 - The Healing Power of Emotions
00:07:12 - Honoring and Working with Anger
00:08:50 - Creating a Safe Space for Emotions
00:10:34 - Nervous System Basics 101
00:12:18 - The Physical Manifestation of Tension and Trauma
00:13:38 - The Burden of Silent Suffering
00:15:08 - Anger as Medicine

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Please know that...

The statements on this YouTube channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.

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[karenkaren]

yes. so so important. I know my anger has made me incredibly sick. i was taught that anger is 'bad'. literally, this is what my mom thought and still thinks. I was put in my room, isolated, and told I was bad, when I was angry. I get it now that all feelings are important. my anger tells me when my boundaries are being violated. I must feel and acknowledge it.

[Veronica-witb]

After the decades of repressed anger at my parents, I finally let myself realise that they did deserve that anger. Now have to heal my stomach and constant lack of energy and other stuff. But at least this is a step forward. Thank u for the subject raised!

[angeladee]

This is a huge problem for me (unable to access anger I know must be there) (and freeze/functional freeze, albeit not very functional). I brace 24/7 and when I focus on shaking off bracing it is showing up in other parts of my body as soon as I try to loosen up. I also hold my breath a lot. I have entirely isolated myself which has allowed me to feel much safer and much more relaxed, but I think in part due to everything trapped in my body, I have no bandwidth to introduce any stresses into my life because my body is so focussed on maintaining this sense of peace and safety ive managed to obtain. It's very unhealthy but at the same time for so long my life was so scary and dangerous that it feels so much better the way I am now.

[davew]

Dr Mate's book is right, I am everything he speaks of. I have the book and read it, along with several others but fixing decades of trauma isn't easy and therapists blaming me for it doesn't help. Three heart attacks, three divorces, three suicide attempts, autoimmune disease. I am text book. My brother died of cancer, so did several of our ancestors. Hearts attacks early runs the family. Tell your doctor off!?!?!? Good luck, they are not listening and threaten you if you do!! It's ok to abuse patients but not abuse medical staff who are abusing patients!!! I have PTSD from that!! More PTSD than I already had from vindictive people.

[Gemtiger]

Mindfulness, journaling, and talk therapy can help express and process emotions.

[BenIsFiguringitOut]

Thank you for this! Cussing has been a way for me to deal with my anger. Journaling has also helped me as well.

[loveearthspirit]

I feel the toddler in me who was angry, but my father and sisters all hold me/pushed/ stopped my strength..

[roseyjohn]

Hi and thank you.

Thanks for helping me understand I also has to allow myself to be gross out.

People with phobias are afraid of being gross out by the present experience.

So I suggest to little by little exposure to the phobias.

Feel to heal, feel to be free, feel to get to your higher self.

Thanks ❤

[Iris-ux]

I suffer for decades from depression. Nothing helped…I got so so sick, now I’m getting the tools ❤ Thank you so much

[momione]

I got pain.For years.I never said no.I started to plesse when i was scared.Under i was so angry.

[valeriemistica]

I am so grateful for this information!! I have lived most of my life in survival mode and spent many years working on the physical level with limited results. Addressing my nervous system is really helping! As I build capacity I will have major adrenaline/copper dumps at times but knowing what it is helps me be with it. Then the next day when I feel worn out I simply rest.

[davew]

IRT helped me to get rid of that nightmare watching my parents fight when I was 6. It stopped the nightmares I had for over 15 years. I didn't think it would work but it did. School nurse and teachers didn't believe I was having the nightmares - secondary trauma that is still with me today almost 60 years later.

[HomemakerDaze]

I've suppressed my emotions my whole life. I cry easily maybe because i bottle it all up. So i have to dissociate so i don't embarrass myself. I need to be more assertive also.

[eleanor]

Talk therapy can often just cause Sympathetic activation to be on loop (probably not technical terminology haha). ie. Talking about past difficulties actually puts more stress/anxiety into our system.

Additionally, we very easily become addicted to our own stress chemicals, hence the work addiction epidemic that has been propelled by an overactive Sympathetic NS.

[danaparshall]

How do you deal with people who you love provoke you into anger so they don't have to hold their anger. Basically the project their behaviors onto you. When you do put boundaries in place they step up their repressed anger in covert ways. Basically, when you put boundaries in place they then feel shame for their behavior and can not face their anger but make you hold their anger. This type of behavior is very covert and destroys families and society. The one who repressed anger forces others to represse their anger. If that makes sense. Also, when you try to be compassionate towards them and resolve the issues they refuse to take responsibility and make you hold it by alienated others from you with lies to cover up their behavior due to repressed anger.

[carnev]

Wow! Thank you. Very helpful and gives me many things to think about.

[davidc.]

62 years old and still feeling I haven’t dealt with my anger from my childhood and adolescent trauma. To be honest, I get the theory. I get how anger trapped somatically becomes depression and illness. I have reached the point where I am often suicidal without feeling particularly depressed. I guess that means the grief and anger are so repressed I only experience their cognitive leakage in thoughts of suicide but not the emotions that cause these thoughts. What I need our ways to bypass thought to release somatically. Also, I have little patience and the older I get, logically, the less patient I feel because the less time I have to fix this shit. Anyone else feel like that?

[Ali]

Some.people are embarrassed they are angry or they are concerned people will think they are mental, anger is right sometimes

[Gemtiger]

Controling emotion.
Masculine.

Expressing emotion.
Feminine.

[IGotufold]

Can 15 years of suppressed emotions anger throw you in to complete desregulation and freeze or is there more to it than that