Learning to Be Angry

It can seem as though we all need to learn to be less angry - and that no one has any problem raising their voice and getting their opinions across. The truth is more nuanced. A sizeable number of us suffer from shyness about expressing our real needs and our true aspirations - and thereby do ourselves and others a disservice. A short film which guides us to the need to speak up when we need to.

FURTHER READING

“There are many reasons to believe that one of the dominant problems in the world today is an excess of anger. We know all about the very shouty and their antics: their tantrums, their lack of reason, their unwillingness to compromise. Furthermore, it threatens to get a lot worse; we seem locked into a set of dynamics (political, technological, environmental) which promises an ever less patient, ever less serene and ever less forgiving future.But it may be rather more realistic, albeit odd sounding, to insist on the very opposite: that whatever the impression generated by a publically vocal angry cohort, the far more common yet (by nature) invisible problem is a contrary tendency, a widespread inability to get angry, a failure to know how rightly and effectively to mount a complaint, an inarticulate swallowing of frustration – and the bitterness, subterranean ‘acting out’ and low-level depression that follow from not allowing any of our rightful sorrows to find expression. For every one person who shouts too loudly, there are at least twenty who have unfairly lost their voice....”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Nick Hilditch

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[beccaa]

"For every one person who shouts too loudly there are at least twenty who have unfairly lost their voice" I can relate so much

[nicolenicole]

I have never gotten angry in 19 years. I physically cannot, I just cry when trying to get angry which defeats the purpose lol

[angelb.]

my parents call me calm. my friends call me kind. i call myself a pushover. i don't know how to get angry. i never stood my stance before. i never outright tell someone that i don't like what they are doing to me, that they're making me angry, resulting in me being passive aggressive. it's a trait that i really hate.

[georgiana]

It's not about being angry at one person. It's about feeling anger and being able to articulate exactly what is the bother, what part of the situation feels wrong and use that reformative energy to change things for the better.
You are angry when you know things could be better, but they are not. For those things that are beyond hope you just feel very sad.

[pancholopezpaz]

My therapist told me that anger is a "beautiful" emotion and I am learning to access anger, but until not long ago I was always very very very nice with everyone and people walked over me in my family, at work, relationships. I did not give me the permission to be angry. Now is helping me a lot to get angry to and say it, but sometimes I cannot control my anger and I become a bit violent. I kept anger for all my life until two years ago when I was 28.

[swordsnorchids]

All of our emotions should be allowed and given the space to exists, it's one of the most important and healthy things that we can do.

[imw]

damn, I use to think my self-control was a strength now I see I was just putting everyone else's needs before my own. Whoever is behind these videos thank you. I will embrace my feelings even angry.

[tshwanedaynightrides]

*Summary of every School of Life video: It starts from childhood*

[QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”
― Joe Klaas

[TheManTag]

This rings deep for me. I never voiced my dissatisfaction with a relationship because i told myself surely, they must have a reason that I do not understand for doing things and if I tolerate it will improve... But nah they were just walking all over me taking advantage of my naiveness and i regret not speaking up earlier

[laikathunderchild]

Indeed. Growing up in our home we were ‘not allowed ‘ to express anger or boredom.
Big trouble for ‘ungrateful spoiled children ‘ resulted.

[theneffychannel]

There needs to be more videos on this topic, I have struggled with it for years.

[QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
― Phyllis Diller

[jeneuweenlaf]

Being praised for being an easy-going / undemanding child can lead children to dampen their primal feelings and that 'spark of feeling alive' the narrator spoke abt. Easily becomes a push-over.

Learning to be angry doesn't mean learning to shout, etc, but knowing when ppl are stepping on your boundaries and raising attention to that violation. And advocating a better outcome for yourself.

[Coppergasm]

this just hits too close to home. i'm 23 years old and i'm just now starting to learn to express anger. i've always felt kind of jealous of people who act out, although i know it's not that productive and sometimes even destructive, but having supressed rage isn't a great feeling either. supressed anger is the kind of thing that turns people into ticking bombs, and it's kind of scary to feel it and be afraid that one day you'll lash out and do things you regret. it really sums it up, that anger makes me scared, and it only gets worse the more you build up.

in a way i'm lucky to be in a dysfunctional relationship, sounds weird, but it feels good to feel comfortable enough to be angry

[QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
― Buddha

[Jixzl]

I'm envious of my boyfriend who gets angry over things at the time, then he's over it for good.

Meanwhile, I'm usually calm in the moment but keep thinking about it for a long time afterwards, even months later it'll be in my mind again.

I also don't have an in-between anger state. When I can't stay calm and my anger busts through, it's devastating.

[valfle]

Always have been afraid of the anger of other people. But I noticed that it doean't hurt/break relationships as I always thought. I started to apreciate people being able to express it. Now I am learning it myself. Still working on avoiding to suppress little bits of anger but to express them. But I still burst out and that is what really hurts relationships

[nii_yuhh]

This might just be a sign from the universe, ladies and gentlemen. I know it is, for me. I have had such a HORRIBLE relationship with anger. That's the only emotion I feel completely helpless towards.
I'm so grateful for you 'School of Life'💞

[MandyJMaddison]

I was in a rather posh department store when a four-year-old girl started throwing a tantrum. The Floor Manager, who was a very tall man with a military moustache, walked over to the child and demanded "Are you angry?"
The child yelled "Yes!" and stamped her foot.
The Floor Manager yelled "Well, I'm angry, too!" and stamped his foot.
The child stopped yelling immediately, and took her mother's hand, just in case.