Cptsd How to Stop Focusing on THEM & Focus on Yourself

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Have you ever watched a video where you were being told to stop focusing on the narcissist, the emotionally unavailable person and that you should do more focusing on yourself and you wondered how in the world can I do that? Now for anyone that has not undergone emotional manipulation to them that's super simple but to anyone that has that can feel like someone is asking you to do the impossible. Why is it so hard to focus on yourself? Why is it so hard to take the focus off the other person and put it on yourself. I remember when this was first told to me 'Michele just put your focus on yourself" and that's going to help you on your healing cptsd. And when I tried to put the focus on myself it was almost like hitting a brick wall in my mind, it was almost like I couldn't. I know that may sound weird but if you've undergone emotional manipulation (narcissistic abuse) for a long time in your life, especially if it started when you were young you're probably nodding your head right now. Let's normalize it - if you've lived life with an emotional abuser maybe the abuse is hidden, it's covert but regardless it is chronic and constant maybe with your parents, significant other, at work even bullying in school you basically were living life as if walking through a minefield.

#complexptsd #ptsdrecovery #emotionalhealing #narcissisticabuserecovery #lifeafternarcissism #cptsd #cptsdrecovery #emotionalabuse #healingtrauma

[janetmoore]

The damage that these demons inflict on us is just horrible! I pray for my healing and the healing of each and every person that reads this. God bless

[izawaniek]

If we do not respect ourselves we will attract people who will disrespect us. It is so very true. Thank you Michelle. I like listening to your soothing voice. Have a beautiful day.

[oliveeyes]

Hi Michele, you’re doing god’s work. The govt. politics, education systems, mental health all stay silent on Npds

[DionneJourney]

I went through this and still is; It feels stressful expressing myself at times but I still do.

[tanyaa]

1. Calm your nervous system. Start your day with breathing, meditation, reprogramming, healthy food, humming 2. Observing yourself, notice your feelings and thoughts. These 2 solutions need time.

[donnadimuro]

Keep dreaming of him. I keep praying that God will help me release him from my body and mind. It's been 9 mos no contact. (a few hoover's 4 mos ago). Yesterday I was angry and told God I'm tired if this. This morning I got up and prayed for help again. It's one day at a time.

[cherylross]

The minute a person shows you they are evil let them be. Love yourself!! When you love yourself people respect you.

[johnreyes]

Emotional abuse is defined by the intentional inflictetion of pain and suffering on on another person' indangering there Emotional well being im getting the silent treatment from someone I adore ❤

[jovannawacheleski]

Its hard when its your mom. I keep myself secluded in my home but she calls me with her problem I try my best to keep my mouth shut. Its hard when your mom gives everything for everyone else except for you. Its hard when she always want to be the hero for everyone else and complains about how many problems she has. I try to focus on myself but when my dad need moral support because he is about to lose a job an got injured and she don't even know how to listen. Its hard been empathetic. And you can't even talk to your only sister because she's very close to your mom and says yes to everything my mom says because she lives with them rent free with her three boys. Its hard.

[msprettykawaii]

My Christian circle dont undetstand that people like this exists and encourage me to hold on to a person who wants to erase me from his life

[vernabryant]

I've lived like this my whole life.

[Jezebel]

Wow. This makes so much sense. I haven’t focused on me in a long time. And I notice what I miss most is loving him. He didn’t love me, but I felt like I made him happy & seem to be addicted to that.

[shiniemi]

I totally get the part where you can kind of feel everyone else's emotional state, but just get blank when trying to feel your own. It takes a lot of work and practice to actively focus on what's going on inside oneself before it slowly starts to become the new default. Thank you for another great video Michele! Your tips has been very helpful and a big part of my recovery and healing from narcissistic abuse!

[cairosilver]

That tangled path analogy reminds me of a recurring dream I'd have years ago of clearing a path through a thickly reeded swamp (and building an elevated path behind me). Probably the very same theme.

[ThughtZ_]

The minefield analogy really hit home. On an unrelated note, I really wish I could hug you.

[swanzilla]

I'm at that point right now
Fight with in myself what I try to do is work out ( if I feel I'm going there in my head ) I grab a set of dumbbells
Most of the time it works

[lesleygarvs]

Just today I was thinking how hard it is to forget all these people... And it s what you say, the abuse was so intense, it created a wound, or an infection, even phisically in my case, so patience is so important... Thank you, Michelle for being an inspiration, and your constant efforts!
🙏🤗❤️

[SS-ints]

Being what everyone demands of me and needing my loved ones acceptance has been my identity since my teenage years. It’s terrifying to focus on myself, because it feels like I’m letting go of my loved ones and I need to always focus on fighting for them and the relationship. After a while, after a relationship ends, I’m able to enjoy self love and care but it takes time. And once im in contact with anyone, even in a new relationship that isn’t abusive, I get anxious and feel im not enough if I self care. And so the cycle repeats itself. Although I don’t tolerate abuse, I still stay and try to work through it beyond saving. Im just realizing this after twenty years- my fear of self love and care while in a dynamic with another person. My fear of losing them trumps loving myself.

[chickenbiscuit]

Moral of the story, intuition prevails.
We don't disconnect due to other people's awareness and opinions.
We trial the facts in order to see what works. And when it works we better know it.
Wives tales are bluffs. 🙏

[IzabelaWaniek-ix]

You are right. It takes time and patience for us to heal from the emotional wounds we have been given by those cruel abusive evil people.