COMPLEX PTSD (CPTSD) AND WHY WE ISOLATE

If you have a difficult time truly letting people in, being highly triggered by others or if you tend to be someone who isolates from others ---and you had a complicated childhood relationship with your caregivers or environment or CPTSD (Complex PTSD) --you might use isolation to manage your life and relationships.

From passive avoidance or low key isolating, even when in relationships, to only feeling safe alone or with pets or kids, Complex PTSD (CPTSD) can impact how we regulate ourselves and triggers, how people trigger us, and how our inner and outer critic can sabotage connection, vulnerability and relationships with ourselves and others.

This videos is about 5 of the most common reasons we isolate, especially with CPTSD histories...

xo

@drkimsage
Dr. Kim Sage

[ootenyafoo]

"Do you hate people?” “I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around." - Charles Bukowski

[thebutterflyreportbyjeffie]

I grew up in an abusive family on a dairy farm where not only was I abused, mentally, physically, but also worked 7 days a week, 365 days a year without any compensation, except, ‘the roof over my head, ’ trope; which I heard almost daily. There were no social activities, no going to dances, proms, ball games, school activities, sports or church…just work and being screamed at and berated. Fast forward to 3 years ago and now my parents were elderly and needed help, so I stepped up to the plate and did my part, only to witness my father shoot himself in the head in my presence, as my mom was hospitalized. She had severe dementia and we moved her into our home for a year and a half until her death from Covid. I isolate. I live on acreage and feeding and helping animals has been my refuge, as well as, meditation. There are no easy solutions. No drugs, semi-interested therapists or bored psychiatrists ever helped. Giving of myself, staying to myself and helping others when I can has been my salvation. I love all of you who read this…you’re not alone. ❤❤❤

[mrsandmom]

I’ve been terribly hurt during my life and being alone is comforting to me. I love being alone.

[claudiaharris]

I love being alone. The world is exhausting. People are hurtful and untrustworthy.

[robertafierro]

To me, isolating myself is necessary. Isolation means safety to me!

[bojanalukic]

To me, isolating myself doesn't mean I'm depressed. I paint, read interesting books, play sudoku and watch whatever interests me on YouTube. I realized that I don't want to force myself into socializing after which I feel worse than before. I am 57 years old and my mood is more and more precious to me.

[PippyPan]

My biggest struggle with this is society insisting that it's bad to be alone. Honestly, I've never felt more comfortable in my life. I live with 4 cats and a dog. We are full. ❤️

[lioness]

I have been alone most of my life. Every time I got involved with other people they took advantage of me and betrayed me. I stopped being around people in 2008 and I'm completely happy and content. I live simply and always with animals. I go out about 1 time per month to pick up supplies. I have most things delivered. I am at peace.

[gaykid]

I’ve been hurt and let down by people, friends, ex partners so many times.
At 42 I feel inadequate, alone, with a crappy job which embarrasses me, with no friends and no family nearby. I prefer isolation in order to avoid comparisons with other people’s lives. Isolation is safe and reassuring. There is no sense of competition.
I go to work each day, come home and enjoy my own company and books. That’s enough.

[Nina]

Living alone is the greatest gift I gave myself, I am at peace, I get to do whatever I want, and I am safe ❤

[DN-wyud]

I'm isolating because I'm trying to heal in peace. No judgement, no expectations, no wasting energy. I can't deal with anyone at all, I need to channel all my energy into trying to recover from decades of abuse.

[pbvoptt]

I self isolate deliberately because I'm tired of being stabbed in the back over 40 years! I gave up entirely at 49! Almost 8 years later, I have NO regrets. Yes, some days are lonely, but I cannot take any more abuse in any of it's forms.

[memdy]

Because of childhood trauma; I isolate most of the time. Recently I was at my son's destination wedding. For 3 days it was happy people talking, laughing, dancing, drinking, and dining...and all I ever wanted to do was get back to my room. I felt so alone and lonely in a group of 90 people. I prefer a party of one; but pets are always welcome!😍

[Shines-On]

The biggest thing that resonated with me is ( I’m paraphrasing), “If you can’t trust your parents, who can you trust?!!”

[Wishpool]

I'm 56, never married. After being hurt so many times in relationships with boyfriends, friends, and family... I really enjoy the peace & comfort of isolation. It feels more stable & safe. I'm still a social butterfly at times, but only in short spurts with people I trust.

[phoenixrisin]

I love my solitude; I’m finally in good company

[anatta]

as a combat veteran self isolation after the war was incredibly important for me. My family kept trying to force me out and "get me help" but it only forced our relationships apart permanently. Never try to control someones healing process, thats not Love.

[KA-mqwj]

After being with toxic narcissistic people my whole life, I’d rather be by myself. I was always alone as a child because my narcissistic mother neglected me. I’ve been abandoned by so many loved ones. I’m protecting myself now and my inner child

[cmaliziosa]

Reading thru the comments, wow I didn’t realize so many other people feel the way I do - comfort, peace & safety in isolation, and it’s a necessity!

[anthonyt]

When you have pets, you're not alone or don't feel alone. I feel like it makes up for lack of social contact. I work full time and always get burnt out from rude people or too much social contact. Being alone can be healing to the mind. Gives you time to process and wind down