What Is Splitting? (And What Causes It?) | OTTO KERNBERG

Otto Kernberg, a pioneer in the field of severe personality disorders and Borderline in particular (and creator of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy), discusses Borderline Personality Disorder from the viewpoint of clinician / ridiculously experienced expert.

[edgreen]

Perfectionism as a defense against being average. But at the extreme no work gets done due to fear of failure.

[drunkenrampage]

I had to tilt my computer screen so that he would be sitting upright.

[simpatico]

My ex girlfriend m, before we broke up, started going to therapy for brief moment. But I realized one thing. She’d either praise the therapist and extol his guidance or berate him, often claiming that she’s the one coming to all conclusions and she doesn’t need him. It was never in between. Same way she treated me, her mother, everybody.

[eschaton]

This helps me realize I'm not this.

[CHANTARELLA]

What I see in splitting is my friend who has BPD is absolutely incapable of seeing that her own mother was a terrible narcissist who used her for her whole life. She was born to hold on to the father who did not love his wife and then she was used as company for the lonely mother- the list goes on and on. But if you tried to tell her that her mother is a selfish person, then she would go ballistic. I think if she had been able to resolve this very first split in her psyche, she might have been able to see all the rest too. People are certainly not one dimensional- but her mother had to be all white and saintly otherwise she could not cope. But it is certain that she was neglected during her early years by a mother who was severely depressed in an unhappy marriage that she did not want to let go of. I have seen old films where her mother sat next to the baby carriage with a face of stone. No mirroring which helps a child to define her own feelings and strengthen her sense of self- and BPD is the product.

[MarieEve-ud]

What I want to know is how the therapist works on/with this predictable attempt at splitting? Is a pushback warranted or advisable? Does the Therapist allow for the split to occur all the while reinforcing the dysfunctional belief?

[bogdanlazar]

I'm sorry. I don't want to take a lot of time or attention, so to anyone that reads this comment, don't feel in any way that you need to answer... and yeah... I already am garnering attention just by saying this...

I just wanted to ask if this is so. Is it possible that splitting with NPD is about performance, while with BPD is about feelings, emotions, caring?

With NPD, the other person would either be seen as beautiful, funny, intelligent, successful, extremely charming or inciting or the opposite, essentially the perfect human specimen or the lowest of the low, ugly, dumb, incapable etc. You are evaluated based on performance and there are only two possibilities.

On the other hand, with BPD, it's how good you are as a person, so you're either the kindest, the most thoughtful, caring, loyal etc., or you're the must untrustworthy, exploitative, immoral etc. You are evaluated based on how caring you are and there are only two possibilities.

What they have in common is that it's selfish, it's all about the person in question and having their wants or needs met, while the other is unseen and unattended, but there's a very big difference in the criteria based on which they value or devalue the other person.

[accordionSWE]

A bad relationship according to an adult BPD/Narcissist?

An adult person that express ambiguity.

[OdiSDuarte]

Dr Otto fazer tira teima Dr Aline Rangel consulta on LINE valor tudo julgar?

[Loungies]

Where can I get this therapy for my granddaughter?

[boblazar]

You guys should make the audio output lower.

[wenaolong]

What about if you were only an infant when they mutilated your junk and had a strange old jewish man slobber on the wounded flesh? Would that be traumatic?