Dr. Ramani thinks single moms are great!

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[linda_castor]

I was a single mother, raised by a N-mom, and your videos helped me after the veil was lifted and I woke up to N-dynamics. Thank you so much! I put myself through grad school and became a psychotherapist helping others understand N-dynamics. Sending love and gratitude!! ❤☺️🕊️

[indianuk]

I was raised by a single mother, and she is the most loving, kind and healthy parent I could ever have. My father is a selfish workaholic who made the CHOICE to abandon his family. I wish he could be different and love us unconditionally, but that’s out of my control.

[divinecaroline]

I’m a single mom and I just can’t get myself to date anyone seriously. I just can’t take the chance that I might make the same mistake and select another narcissist.

[happymaker]

My Mom was a single Mom. I admire her for raising me and my three siblings all on her own. She is my hero!

[denierlexiese]

This was a sad response by you and you have the education to know better. Watch the original video, get out of your feelings, take it away from your personal situation, and try again.

[deekandy]

While I agree with this 100%, , , , there are single mothers who are completely narcissistic who come from narcissistic families who work together to alienate the other parent...and cause trauma to their children. It takes all of the children's efforts to get out of such family systems and try to rebuild their relationships with the alienated parents while being smear campaigned by the narcissistic family still.

[Dr.I.D.Pendleton]

Being a single mother with a healthy household is 💯 Better than a 2 parent unhealthy household with an abuser. The best decision I made was getting me and my children out of that abusive household.

[lordliriano]

This vid seems a bit uncharacteristic of you. I saw the video and they never said you thought men shouldn’t date single mothers. I thought they used your words but didn’t state what your opinion was. Sounds like you didn’t watch the video. You are so educated and competent that I am surprised by this.

[nhuprich]

I think you would also be proud of single fathers who found the strength to leave a toxic relationship with a narcissistic wife. This is my best friends case. Life is so difficult for him right now, raising 2 young children and having to co-parent with her but I have seen him reclaim himself, begin to heal and take steps towards thriving, even under the pressure of solo parenting because of the awareness your videos have brought him. TYSM!! Sending love to you always Dr Ramani 💕

[arimdu]

Not wanting to date a single mother doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s called preference

[aryrrp]

I have a lot of respect for you Dr. Ramani, and I've learned quite a bit about narcissism from you... but you are completely wrong on this one!

First off... you jumped out of the gate and attacked this other content creator using ad hominems instead of actually trying to discuss the arguments/facts. I think if you took a step back and looked at how you did that and you were honest with yourself, you'd have to ask yourself "why did I do that?". And maybe realize that you came at this from a really defensive point of view. Not to mention calling him a narcissist (and by extension anyone who agrees with him)!

That other content creator (yes, I've seen the video) was tongue in cheek saying you agreed that dating single mothers is not a good idea. It's obvious in his video that he knows you don't agree, but the part you missed is that using your own arguments is all it takes to prove that dating single mothers is not a good idea.

Let's put it out there... what does a man gain from dating a single mother? Well, let's look at it from the man's perspective. If I marry a single mother, I must spend all my time and resources to protect and provide and raise another man's seed! Speaking in evolutionary biological terms... that's a HUGE no no, and no man who knows his worth is going to do such a thing. I'm certainly no narcissist, trust me, I know what narcissism is... I'm an empath who has scored an INFP and INFJ (did 2 separate tests) who has an older sister who is a covert narcissist who hates my guts, especially since she found out I know her secret! I would not date a single mother. I would not want to spend my time and resources on another man's seed.

Not to mention that many (certainly not all) single mothers come with baggage, above and beyond having a kid. But let's get to the kid part. If I were to date a single mom, long term. I'd be expected to take responsibility for that kid(s) eventually... however rarely would the woman also allow you to have "authority" to act as the father. Yes, there will be exceptions but most women would not allow the man to be able to punish the child as they see fit. So responsibility without authority.. and that doesn't work.

How about, as you yourself have said, and as it SHOULD be, you put the child first always. So the man coming in knows he will NEVER be #1 to her! How is a man supposed to accept that?

Again, no man that knows his worth will date a single mother...even the good ones that would treat him properly (while not mistreating or ignoring her kid(s) ) and be completely understanding of the situation, because how can a man know in advance if that single mother is one of the good ones or one of the damaged ones?

[chickendesi]

My mom is a “single mother” and the most evil, vile and narcissistic mother I’ve ever come across.
She abused and still uses my father and gives him no credit for the fact that he still cares for her because she’s too lazy to get a job and he refuses to “see her on the streets”.
I finally have been able to set boundaries and it gives me so much peace. I absolutely loath the self-victimizing and manipulative nature that she uses to have sympathy for being a “single mother”. She’s never been on her own, never even said thanks for the support she gets.

[uniquehorn]

Maslow famously said, "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." For Ramani, whose focus is on all things narcissism, she is quick to label all men who do not want the responsibility of raising someone else's kids a narcissist. Sadly, I guess she feels the need to pander to her audience while expressing zero understanding of the reason why men may hesitate to date single mothers. Worst of all, she takes the Manosphere video completely out of context. I am disappointed.

[SanaHS]

Thank you so much Dr Ramani.
As a single mother too, co-parenting with a narcissistic father, I really value your support and the daily dose of great wisdom you give us!
Love from Tunisia!

[erikabutler]

Being affirmed by you after surviving abuse is so helpful. Thank you. 💕

[AlexH]

"Narcissist" is becoming the new word for "person I don't like".

[nelson]

Well, everyone is entitled to their opinions and preferences. I will never date a single mother. I don't care what Dr Ramani says or thinks.

[asofotida]

Lost all respect for the doc!
She should have stuck to the facts, been objective instead of playing to the emotions women and instead of being fair she’s just doing damage control. What you said was true, single parents (why only mothers??) do bring in baggage. My son lives with me, his mother had a fling with another guy and now we are divorced. I did think I should get into a relationship 2 yrs back but after seeing the quality of wmn hereI have given up. Most out right reject me because of my son. I have accepted it. I don’t need anyone calling me STRONG and BRAVE. Life is the way it is. But this is very revealing how you cannot trust women to stick to their words, even if it’s a doctor. 🙏

[ejp]

If you watch the video the guy did do his homework. Your emotional response is easy to see as you took it personal . Watch the video ! All the guy is saying and you said it to Ramani. A guy needs to be careful about dating single women and know what he’s in for . You took him totally out of context yet you are mad that he took you out of context . When you have a disagreement w someone emotions for the most part get in the way of logic .

[BigHeartNoBS]

Single mom here. My kid is my hero. Did everything I could to protect him and we broke the cycle of abuse in our little family.

Edit: Amazing how my positive and uplifting post got under the skin of some people. Bless your hearts. It's okay though. Single mothers are used to dealing with judgemental nasty people who are threatened by us. We're strong like that. 💪💪💪 And you know it.

Thank you Dr. Ramani for the support.