Dr. Gabor Maté With Dahlia: Best Advice If You Feel Lonely, Depressed, And Think All Hope Is Lost

Dr. Gabor Maté joined me on my podcast to talk about The Myth Of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture. So I asked the world's leading trauma and addictions expert: If you feel so depressed, so lonely, so helpless ... And you don't believe there is any hope, help is too expensive, and you're all alone ... What can you do? Gabor gave the best advice I've heard yet.

To listen to our full conversation on my podcast LIVE AND HELP LIVE:

[justinebourke]

Anyone else feel that every suggestion they get is just futile. I'm so overwhelmed with the pain of loneliness and depression, I just can't bear it. Nobody wants to be around someone so negative.

[smokingcrab]

If you're lonely and depressed it's because you're not getting your relational needs met. All brokenness is solved in relationship and nurture, feeling accepted, loved, like others care. The disconnection is what's causing it. All mental health issues stem from lack of connection most of the time. If you're depressed and reading this, know that I'm there too. And I wish I could help. Because I feel your pain.

[fakiriayoub]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[tarikay]

The point is to make that little voice who cares about you LOUDER and LOUDER, until it becomes the prominent voice in your life. I destroyed my depression thanks to this mindset, by total perseverance

[jeannes.]

My shelter pets have always helped my soul. I rescue them and they rescue me.

[KimberlyJose-sisv]

I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my husband recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[airplane]

A few years ago, I was unemployed, and people sent me sermons, bible verses, quotes, etc. There was one person that didn't do any of those things. She talked to her boss, got me an interview and a job. The reality is that no one wants to help you. Very few people will move a finger to help you.

[veronikathornley]

Just the tone of his voice calms me down immediately, than I start focusing on the meaning of his words...He is a true gift 🙏

[jessenoelle]

There's a part of you inside you that cares about you. ❤ Best thing I ever heard from any psych doc ever

[liamhurley]

It's like literally noone cares about me and nobody would care if I died, that's exactly how I feel right now.

[vupmdwd]

People who find a healthy life long partner, who never cheats, nurtures them and brings out the happiness in them are so lucky.
They're honestly so lucky.😢
I'm 35 years old and since I was 4, uncivilised, negative and just the wrong people keep on invading my life unwelcomingly. I'm just so heartbroken.

[jamesl]

I suffered depression most of my life and self medicated with alcohol and drugs. Thank goodness I quit the alcohol and drugs but the depression continued. Finally the solution was a lot of 12 step meetings and working the 12 steps and making friends in the fellowship. Isolating and loneliness and negative thoughts really contributed to the depression. I had to break out of the isolation and negative thoughts. Now I have a lot of friends and keep working on being positive. I also do agree that library books and YouTube are good things to feed your brain with positive energy

[teslinjoe]

"still seeing it through the eyes of that child . . . " He so calmly, simply and gently says it and there it is as it's always been.

[Dumballa]

Gabor Mate is a world treasure. So happy you were able to meet and speak with him.

[DanielaRosenrot]

Small steps in the healing direction are better than no steps at all 🙏

[barbaraschain]

Blessings to all those suffering right now
❤❤❤

[carmen]

It's gotten to the point where I stopped trying because it never works out for me and it's easier to just not bother than to keep failing and compounding the disappointment.

[StaticTeaz]

I think moreover it's often important to get the focus off the Self. In other words, losing oneself in creative, artistic flow and/or service of others can be hugely beneficial.

[nocando]

Its social support. Social support is everything. Non-judgmental, active listening, validating support. Your nervous system which feels burdened will feel a sense of relief. If its not that "bad" yet, then perhaps going outside and looking at a tree is enough. We must cultivate a culture of active support that lacks judgement. But alas, a portion of humans can, most can't.

[acerp]

The child part hit me hard. It's exactly right (in my case). I still feel like that trauma damaged and misunderstood child and I'm 48 years old. The trauma eas never dealt with and that child is still me (or in me), and he's still trying to deal with the trauma and make sense of it all. I wish I could have been there for him, if that makes any sense.