Why You Feel Like Everyone Else Is Stupid

▼ Timestamps ▼
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0:00 - Reddit Post (Everyone is stupid except me)
5:05 - Being smart is isolating
7:38 - Conditioning
9:39 - Longing for connection
11:16 - Judgmentality
13:54 - 1v1 me IRL
15:12 - We hate in others what we cannot fix for ourselves
18:25 - Relationship goes both ways
20:42 - Trying to fix internal problems by interacting with the opposite
28:25 - Questions
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[legoboy-oxkx]

I don't feel like other people are stupid or worse than me, I just have a really hard time with the fact that most other people don't intuitively understand many things and have a naturally strong moral compass. It's frustrating when you feel like you're trying your hardest to do things right and make as few mistakes as possible and other people don't care.

[DCamp]

Major in Engineering. The most humbling experience ever. Go from the smartest person in highschool, to the dumbest student in class real fast

[NinjaCoderInTraining]

This kid was actually quite articulate and explained how he felt very well. There's really no way you can express something like that without sounding arrogant to some people. Being ND alone can already make it difficult to relate to neurotypicals. Having above average intelligence on top of that can only make things worse.

[HopperDragon]

I think I'm generally "smarter" than most people, it comes from consistently being frustrated with the general public's struggles with curiosity and especially empathy. I feel almost that the more caring and empathetic I become, the more disappointed I am by people's failings in those areas.

[arctikc]

I’ve found this is only a problem with socially anxious / isolated people. I think the gap between our thoughts and how they’re expressed is really underestimated. We understand that we have really complex and nuanced thoughts, but don’t see how much of that is actually shown externally. So while other people will be having complex and nuanced thoughts as well, having your inner world meet their inner world is waaaayyyy more difficult than people expect. This is exacerbated when you try to express yourself on something you’ve been thinking a lot about and figure out the succinct way to approach it, but they can’t respond. The thing is, it’s not because they’re stupid they’ve just been thinking about different concepts, so of course they’re not prepared to have a deep philosophical discussion about something esoteric you’ve been pondering. When you start to spend a lot of time around people in uncontrolled situations where you’re out of your comfort zone, you really start to realize that you’re dumb in the same way you think everyone else is because suddenly you are in so many situations that you’re unprepared for. Of course you’re going to come off as an idiot. The lovely thing is, that’s totally reasonable :)

[Mark-tmfi]

I feel the exact opposite of this LMAO. I feel like everyone took a class on how to be a well functioning adult but forgot to invite me

[enque]

I tested and got IQ ~135 when I was 19, and I maxed out the military aptitude test, but I was surrounded by criminals, alcoholics, racists and a few nazis in my everyday life, in the most religious city in my country. I felt like the biggest outsider. Then I read that "you become like the people you spend the most time with" and I was like "NOPE!" and just ghosted the 30 people I hung out the most with. But now I suddenly had ZERO friends. What to do now? Tried being a member of Mensa, and that helped a little bit - it was so refreshing to be able to use my full vocabulary all of a sudden without having to dumb down how I talk to make people understand what I'm saying. I really grew from that experience of just being able to ask questions for once, and not just answer them, but didn't really bond with anyone there or make friends. Then I applied for engineering physics at university, and holy crap that was waaaay better socially than Mensa. I left Mensa and just hung out with classmates instead - I was no longer the smartest and actually felt dumb often enough to feel totally normal there. Throughout these experiences I met people who were SO much smarter than me, that I really learnt that there's always somebody and I was very often dumb! And this made me infinitely compassionate towards "dumber" people. Because I'm a blabbering idiot in some topics compared to some people. In fact, most people I teach science or math to tell me that they really enjoy learning from me, because I don't make them feel dumb, I make them feel smart. Which they are. They are smart. And I envy several things most people are able to do, but I can't do. In many ways, my brain sucks. Just not in the geometric algebra way.

[blue-rzhq]

Some people are genuinely incompetent and simple minded…lacking depth, or rationale. A lot are unreliable as well, lacking self awareness

[deepakrajendra]

When I was young, I thought I was stupid. I grew a bit, I thought everyone else was stupid.


Now, I think everyone is stupid— me included.

[iristang]

I had the same confusion as this guy have. It turned out to be that those people surrounded me were actually, indeed, stupid. It is not a subject feeling, it is just a fact. Finally, I met a bunch of smart and reasonable people in college and felt like I got a relief. I knew I was right, but the whole environment was gaslighting me that cheating is just something everyone does, and science is stupid and so on. I just don’t want to join them anyway. Sometimes, getting out of your current stupid environment is more important than changing yourself.

[FutureAIDev]

This is actually closer to what I remember feeling in high school, rather than "everyone is rejecting me", it was "I'm rejecting everyone else, because they can't seem to get it through their heads that there's more to life than partying". I just couldn't comprehend why someone would focus more on short-term pleasure than intense focus on academics.

[chanceneck]

I don't feel like everyone else is stupid at all.

What I mostly struggle with is "Why does nobody else understand me?" Or "why do people keep misunderstanding me?"....

[TheRustyCopper]

My therapist told me that this behaviour pattern is pretty common in people who are actively or passively taught that relationships are only based off social hierarchies, essentially meaning that you need to "prove to be worthy enough" to have a friend, partner or whatever. People like these - like me - often find themselves believing they want to have peers, but actively seek for people who are "worse than them" only to try and fix them, therefore consolidating the whole hierarchy thing (I solved your problem, this means I'm higher ranked than you).

[alexhess]

The solution is extremely simple: Be willing to be friends with stupid people. Then let them surprise you.

[dangriffin]

Real talk, I spent a long time working in a factory. I was the company math nerd and crunched numbers for the quality department. Legitimately 90% of the employees were stupid, especially the ones that made a habit of pointing out other people's stupidity. This taught me that it's entirely plausible that if you think everyone around you is an idiot you could potentially be reading the situation correctly and it's also not impossible that if you find yourself in the situation where everyone around you is an idiot, you belong there.

[kai-gmre]

i remember i said something to a friend once, like, “i *know* i am smarter than most people, and it’s exhausting to have to act ‘humble’. but i also know that it doesn’t make me any better than anyone else— and i don’t see why appreciating my own strengths has to be arrogant.” i have many weaknesses. i struggle with practical application of my knowledge; i overthink and don’t take enough decisive action in emotional situations; i do my best to admit i am wrong but i still catch myself pretending i was right all along and feel guilty for it; i struggle to manage time or maintain motivation or have a daily routine… i have my strengths and weaknesses. and everyone else has their own strengths and weaknesses. i’m not frustrated with people’s lack of intelligence; i’m sad that they often don’t even try to understand me or my thought process, probably because it seems too difficult even when i try to explain. it makes me feel lonely to not be understood.

now that i’m in college, i’ve been able to surround myself with people who keep up with me— and people i have to keep up with. it’s exhilarating and it’s so, so validating to know i really *was* just smarter. it’s like i can just be honest about being *good* at stuff, and it feels really good to be able to be confident in myself.

[ShazyShaze]

"why do I feel like everyone is stupid except for me?" "I just graduated high school, and..." Ah, there it is.

[Karen-felu]

"We hate in others what we cannot fix in ourselves."

love that quote

[Nicole-yjts]

Speaking from experience, it’s very hard to build relationships with people if you’re coming from a place of judgment. Once I’ve actually started speaking with people more, and gave them a chance to open up and learned more about them I realize that every person’s story had something to teach me, and every person in their life had some experiences that in one way, or another could be applied to me. I stopped judging them because I know I’m just as flowed as a human being but in a different way.
Having a community that understands your struggles and what you were going through is actually very empowering. Once you stop using your judgment and rejection as a mechanism to avoid genuine connection.

[wallycunningham]

Why does this 33 minute talk seem more valuable than 1, 000 hours with most licensed therapists?